[cashart10]

My pdoc told me that it is very important that I increase my clozapine to 300 MG. He told me to start taking vyvance again to counteract the sluggishness. He also told me to restart the anti-depressant if I feel I need it. The last two times I went to him, he has told me to come back every 4 weeks, instead of the 2 weeks he used to see me. I'm not sure how I feel about that, especially since I told him that I was suicidal. He said he knows that my deterrants are greater than my thinking and he feels I am safe. He told me to have my therapist call him instead of fearing the worst, especially since he has known and treated me so long. Is he starting to not care?

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

I don't think he isn't starting to not care, I think he has gotten to know you very well and knows how to treat and react with you. Sometimes that can be very calming. Have some faith in him especially since he's been treating you for a long time. Unless you think he is putting you in some sort of jeopardy with meds, etc. Hugs!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I think your pdoc is very confident in himself. I think he truly thinks that he knows you very well. I guess it just depends on your comfort level with that.

Possible trigger:

I would not want a pdoc who said something like I wouldn't act on suicidal thoughts because I had deterrents because it is always much worse for me when I feel impulsive and it only takes one impulsive moment.

I don't know why he is lengthening the time between visits. I'm sure it isn't whether or not he likes you. Maybe his schedule is more busy? Maybe he thinks your therapist can help and you need him less?

Maybe he feels that you are looking better? Even if you don't think so? Maybe you've come full circle on the drugs and he's confident that he's got it figured? It's impossible to say what another person is thinking.

Why don't you ask him about his professional opinion and why he's doing what he's doing? I always question my pdocs decisions to see what they are based on to see if their reasoning registers with logic and what/how I'm feeling.

I'm not trying to invalidate what you're going through. But I'm changing meds and just started with a new psych nurse and she isn't seeing me again until the 17th of February. So it was like a month and a half out. When I call, I feel like I'm just bothering them. It's a state run clinic.

I think he cares, and you can always call, right? He's probably just busy.

[Nammu]

Sometimes an objective person can see positive changes before we ourselves feel them. Maybe he wants to see if you can experience that better without him. Like leaving the nest to see if you can fly. I doubt its because he is tired of you but his desire to see you gain confidence in yourself.

[cashart10]

Thank you all very much for your kind responses.

Possible trigger:

My t went over our visit by 20 mins to talk to me about suicide, asking if I have a plan or if I could impulsively take the pills. She asked me if I needed to go to the hospital and I told her I didn't think so and we got into the "what to do if" conversation. I agreed to give up every tool I would use to harm myself to my husband and to call her to confirm that I had done it. I'm sad.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm glad you have this therapist. It is always hard to admit we are in a place where we need others to look out for us but it is good that there are people who will do it. You'll get past this. I still think your brain is probably reeling from too many med changes all at once and that can make anyone suicidal. Even people without bipolar. There is research that people who've had strokes who are put on ADs immediately do better because the brain just doesn't like to be messed with, whether it is by meds to a blood clot.

[Imah]

1. I agree with Hashi.
2. I only see someone once every 3 months now. (Used to 2 x per month).