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#1
Feb 08, 2016, 04:08 AM
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"I am sorry , but it my way to see it in print so it becomes real to me"
************************************************************* PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS ... PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS ... ************************************************************* if for some ungodly reason you read this no responses please I will not be reading them ... when your life experience , schooling and all you are no longer believes in a spiritual answer ... when due to childhood neglect you have no hope of ever connecting with your emotions except sad and anger ... when the meds , depression or just life has prevented you from any sexual desire , much less comfort , for three years ... when your wife of 33 years resents being asked to just cuddle ... when your pdoc refuses to even consider an ad ... when your pdoc starts not responding to your messages ... when xanex is all that keeps your guts from being in a knot ... when getting good sleep is a fairy tail you have given up on ever coming true ... when being alone is your main desire ... when there is "nothing" you give a single care about ... when every movie brings tears and tv shows cause fear and nightmares ... when due to deathly dreams you are afraid to take your rx sleep aide ... when one benadryl becomes two , becomes three ... when you are consumed with a "painless way" ... when your honestly wondering if the rear wheels of a semi would be quick enough to be painless ... when your crying over writing this letter at 3:30 in the morning ... when you know you have no friends to miss you ... when pc seems pointless .... *********************************** when your last thread your holding on to , my little "korean daughter " , becomes frayed and breaking ... *********************************** I am sorry but I needed to write this to make it thru tonight ... |
 Anonymous41403, BipolaRNurse, cmc3663, HeavyMetalLover, jacky8807, kindachaotic, Pastel Kitten, raspberrytorte, Serzen, Vivienhoney, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Feb 08, 2016, 06:11 AM
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Oh Tigger I'm so sorry even if you don't read this
It sounds to me your meds are not doing much If you want to continue to try meds can you find a new pdoc.? Come here and talk or im me anytime  jacky
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
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#3
Feb 08, 2016, 09:25 AM
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We love you tigger.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#4
Feb 08, 2016, 11:50 AM
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The music wasn't a last hope - but a light. Life is still out there. <3 <3 <3
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BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL!  600 mg Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) 30 mg Atarax (hydroxyzine) 8 mg Trilafon (perphenazine) Bipolar 1 - Borderline Personality Disorder - Generalized Anxiety Disorder - Eating Disorder |
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#5
Feb 08, 2016, 02:45 PM
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Tigger, I think you have been in a manic state for awhile (Korean pop group videos) and you even admitted that you couldn't stop and it was making you extremely happy. I think you are now on the downward spiral into depression. I could be wrong but that is what it sounds like. Sometimes just knowing it's part of the cycle helps and that it won't be permanent. I hope you get to feeling better!
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Hashi/Bipolar Mom 300mg Lamictal 1800mg Gabapentin 10mg Memantine (weaning off) .6mg Clonidine (for sleep and anxiety) 40mg Propanol (for sleep) 3 mg Xanax 10mg Saphris |
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