I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 back in August 2015 and I really struggle with the diagnosis. Part of me thinks this diagnosis is completely wrong and that I'm on the totally wrong medication.

Backstory:
In May 2013, I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression (no depressive disorder, just depression). I feel that diagnosis is correct because it makes sense to me: I struggle with concentration, attention, etc. and sometimes I'm depressed.

Although I was diagnosed in 2013, I didn't seek help until July 2015. Around then is when I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1. I basically mentioned to my psychiatrist that I sometimes have depression and that I sometimes feel very hyper. I also mentioned that I had sleep issues (e.g., sometimes I could get away with 3-4 hours of sleep every night without feeling tired... but eventually I would "crash" and sleep a lot). I was given an antidepressant to try (Lexapro, an SSRI) and I felt "very good" on it. (I basically felt very happy and excited.) I got about 5-6 hours of sleep a night while on it.

When my therapist saw the diagnosis, she vehemently disagreed with it. She believed that I had ADHD and that was it. "Bipolar?!" she exclaimed. "You don't seem bipolar to me. I think you have ADHD" -- and this was after seeing her for about 2 months. (Unfortunately, she moved away to work somewhere else, so she's no longer my therapist.)

I sought a 3rd opinion when I went to do a neuropsych eval for ADHD. The psychologist said I had Bipolar 1 disorder, NOT ADHD... which was funny because the psychologist said I had attention and executive functioning deficits... but she attributed that to being bipolar! (And yes, the psychologist knew beforehand that I was diagnosed as bipolar... so I feel it swayed her opinion.)

I don't get it because I don't recall ever having a manic or hypomanic episode. Can mania be subtle? I don't have hallucinations or delusions, and I don't recall engaging in reckless behavior...? I'm a fairly introverted person.

Thanks for reading.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Try getting the medicine you need to regulate your depression and improve the quality of life.

[Victoria'smom]

Sounds like hypomania. You don't have to see things or any of that stuff. Hypomania can be a surge of energy, not being able to concentrate, need for less sleep, ect.

good link

Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer

Try getting the medicine you need to regulate your depression and improve the quality of life.

I guess that's part of the problem. I'm taking Latuda and it's not helping my depression. It makes me think I'm not bipolar, I guess.

I feel like I need a regular antidepressant (SSRI or SNRI), but my pdoc won't give me one because he thinks antidepressants will make me manic.

So tl;dr... I feel like I can't get the medicine I need

[cmc3663]

It does sound more like BP 2 to me also. How long do you feel hyper for when that happens? And how much Latuda are on? Maybe you need a higher dosage?

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Sounds like hypomania. You don't have to see things or any of that stuff. Hypomania can be a surge of energy, not being able to concentrate, need for less sleep, ect.

good link

Thanks for the link. It does sound more like hypomania to me too.

I've never actually asked why my diagnosis is BP I instead of BP II, and that's mostly because the treatment for BP I and BP II is the same. But I definitely don't get psychosis.

Originally Posted by cmc3663

It does sound more like BP 2 to me also. How long do you feel hyper for when that happens? And how much Latuda are on? Maybe you need a higher dosage?

Yeah, BP II may be more accurate. I'm not sure why the diagnosis is BP I.

Anyway, I'm not good at identifying mania/hypomania. I think that's part of the problem.

When got 3-4 hours of sleep a night, that lasted for about 1.5 weeks. I was very smiley and energetic, yet very productive at work. That's all I remember, though. (This was back in September 2015.)

I'm currently on 60mg of Latuda. I *was* on 40mg, but my psychiatrist just upped my dose on Friday because I was feeling depressed.

[hopeless2015]

I understand, I feel like I don't get manic either or get the high, but I gamble, I overspend, ran up credit cards, I'm filing for bankruptcy! The lows and depression I see much much more. The denial is real! I know that I'm not well, and I know now that I AM bipolar..hugs

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[TryingToMoveForward]

I think this sounds more like Bipolar II AND ADHD. I mean, its possible to have both. What you described sounds like me when I'm hypomanic. Its a less severe form of mania, but I do get a few psychotic features whereas you don't.

I have ADD with one feature of ADHD (restlessness, fidgeting).

But one thing you need to understand, is that you are not your diagnosis.

I was misdiagnosed as schizoaffective for four years, and treated as if I was schizophrenic. Which I didn't understand, because I wasn't hearing voices or having psychotic impulses, just heard music under certain triggers and suffered some paranoia regarding paranormal activity. Those were the only psychotic feature and no medication ever completely got rid of the music. But since they told me I was schiz, I thought, well, I must be. Even though I didn't match the cases I studied in psychology classes in college and high school. But I was Bipolar Type II. How did I find out? I did a psychological evaluation by a psychologist. My advice is to get that done ASAP. That will let you really know what's going on. Just keep in mind, the testing just addresses recent behavior within the past 3 months, thoughts and feelings. It isn't 100% accurate. It said I'm schizoid but I'm not, however the other three diagnoses were very accurate. My therapist and psychiatrist agreed with them and said they made perfect sense. So if you can get a referral to such an exam, it would be very beneficial.

But it can also be painful. Reading it was very hard and it broke my heart at first. Acceptance is something that comes with time, and it isn't easy. But once you know what you're dealing with, you can make a plan of action for treatment and coping. That's half the battle right there.

I am honestly grateful to be bipolar instead of schizophrenic. Letting go of the stigma of so many years, and the pain of carrying that diagnosis around. Plus, my favorite superhero is Bipolar Type I with ADHD. It is possible to have a happy life with this mental illness.

[bathroomscrubber]

Reading your post sounded just like me. I was diagnosed manic depressive when I was 9. Until yesterday I still thought my diagnoses as bipolar was wrong. But I have a story that might help. About six years ago my son was diagnosed with ADHD, I was on meds for bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. One morning I accidentally took my son's meds when getting us ready for the day. I realized it almost as soon as I did it but it was too late. I decided to not take my meds cause who knew what would happen if I did. Anyhow that day was beyond anything I can explain. I wasn't forgetting things, I was keeping up with my thoughts, I had so much energy, I detailed my house, I talked a mile a minute, I wasn't sluggish and just getting by. To me it was amazing since I had been severely depressed most of my life. But in all honesty, that's not the effect it's supposed to have on someone with ADHD, when someone with ADHD takes it, it slows them down. They don't fidget and talk rapidly and they can focus and get things done. I had my first semi manic episode that I can remember, while sober yesterday. I seriously scrubbed the shower for almost 12 hrs. And still wasn't tired I slowed down when I took my nighttime meds.

[Chance07]

I just recently was diagnosed with Bipolar Type I. It upsets me that it took my doctors until I was 26 years old to diagnose me. I was diagnosed ADHD as a kid and have seen a Pdoc most of my life. The thing is that my impulsivity was not always around where as my inability to focus was. I now thanks to having been admitted into a hospital for an attempted suicide after coming down rather quickly off of a manic episode I was diagnosed as a BP type I. Now before this I had seen my Pdoc and talked to him about everything that was going on and he considered the possibility that I may have had BP type II. Knowing what I know now about BP and what occurs during manic episodes I know that the doctors at the hospital got the correct diagnosis. What kills me the most is that none of the Pdoc's in my area specialize in mood disorders or there are not ones that are available to take any new patients on right now because they already have too many. I am having a hard time adjusting to the lithium. It causes me to be lethargic and scatterbrained which is crazy because I am on Concerta for my ADHD( which is more than likely just ADD with the hyperactivity and impulsivity coming from the manic episodes something the doc at the hospital said) and I still can't concentrate on anything and am still fighting to stay awake. Also I haven't seen anything on this but I used to have a deccent sex drive(when I am manic it is in overdrive) and now I have zero desire to do anything sexual did't know if it was the meds or possibly something else. I am currently looking for another Pdoc and am trying to get with someone who specializes in mood disorders. It is looking like I may have to go up to a 45-60 min drive just to get with a doc who knows what it is they are doing. Any help as to what to look for in a doc for managing BP type I w/ADD?

[cmc3663]

You can go up to 160 mg with Latuda so that really should help for the depression, it may just take time.

[gina_re]

When I was first diagnosed, I didn't see the hypomanic side of myself either. It's like you're just in a great mood and you don't think much of it, but when you're depressed you definitely know that feeling and seek out treatment. That's why (in my opinion ion) it's hard for some to accept. But as time goes on the puzzle came together and explained my behavior.