*trigger warning* So tired of living with this

I'm so tired of living with this guys....
No one really understands, I try to ask for help but everyone keeps saying I should pull myself together and just "live life normally" as if it's something so simple. I wish it were that simple, I just want my old life back, I just want to live my life without being so tired or so scared of how my mood will be like. I just want to be in peace and not hurt people with my behaviour. I know people would be better off without me.
I guess I just wanted to talk to people who would understand what it feels like.

I'm so sorry you're hurting so bad. Most people don't understand. We are here. Can I help? I'm about to cry reading this. I'm in ER with my son tonight he's got a meth and heroin and bp problems. So I'm awake if I can help be someone to talk to. Sending love and healing to you.

I suggest talking to your pdoc as you're on low doses of meds.

I just don't want to hurt anymore. I want peace. I've fought so hard, I don't want to fight anymore.

I know you're fighting hard and want peace but the ones you don't want to hurt you'll be hurting forever.

When can you talk to your doctor?

i see your still signed in to the forum... that's a good sign

post 50 messages here if you have too

seriously, it's so much better than what you're thinking of doing.. and at least here you're among people that understand

Please don't do this ... If you do,
there will be a hole in the Universe
where you're supposed to be and
that will be a very sad thing ...



I used to get so pissed off when my first
therapist would tell me this is a permanent
solution to temporary problems, but it is
true even if it does sound so cliche.

We will always struggle with our mental health
issues, but with the right treatment they can
and do become manageable and life actually
does become worth living and participating in.

I hope you continue to reach out for all the help
and support you deserve and need to get there
instead of this other option!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

My first post ever to this forum was because I was feeling just like you.....done with it all.
But it dosent stay that way forever'
If I printed out my posts it would look like a rollercoaster...periods of up down and in between. Nothing lasts forever.
This feeling isn't forever
Hold on tight because just when you think you have been in the tunnel too long. Boom!
You are back out in the sunshine

do you have a mood disorder? there are plenty of meds for it out there.

Thank you every single one of you for your support and answers... I don't know how things will play out but I do feel a little better talking to people who understand what I'm going through...

Dear Blue. Here's giving you strength and energy to deal with this very difficult situation.

I hope your son can find a way to live without drugs.

When you hit that wall of " im done, I want out, let me off this damn ride " stop trying to swim upstream , Just float .. Just be, No internal struggle just "float" rebuild your strength and then go another round with Bipolar. The only true thing that Bipolar has to offer anyone is that it cycles , it always cycles .. and spits you out the other side.

I wish you find peace and tranquility.

It hurts my heart reading your post because I've been there, and I know that at any moment I can be there again. Being bipolar sucks, but you have to remind yourself that this feeling is just that, a feeling. It will pass. Please remember the good days.

How're you this morning?

Ppl really gave great advice. I'll repeat what Christina said bc it helped me yrs ago when I was feeling like you are. Bipolar always cycles. Always...

How are you doing today?

so my gf with bipolar killed herself 3 months ago. She thought everyone would be better off, like you think. Oh my Fu*ken god, was she wrong. My life is spiraling out of control because she left. You think you won't be missed? Stop being so selfish. The people around you will be devastated. Life is harder for people with bipolar, that's why you guys are so much stronger. There has been better days, and there will be better days. Just see it through. If not for yourself, then for the people around you. You think you make their life crazy because of your condition? NOTHING compared to what would happen if you ended it. Again, think about the others around you for a bit. See it through. You'll get better. You always have, and you always will.

I'm thinking of you.. How are you doing now?

Terrible guys... My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm bipolar and he can't "handle" it. He says I hurt him by being sad. I just want to disappear.