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#1
Mar 03, 2016, 01:41 PM
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The depression seems to be finally lifting! I realized yesterday that I haven't felt suicidal in a couple of weeks, which is awesome. And in the past couple of days I've actually felt functional. I've played with my son more than usual and started cleaning again. I feel productive. And though I have a cloud of grief following me, I can tell it is that. Grief feels different from depression. Grief feels purposeful, like I know I'll come out of it. And there's a reason behind it. Depression always seems so hopeless.
So I feel better. Which considering I've been depressed since December is definitely a good thing. It could just be my normal spring boost in mood but even so I'll take it. I'm setting a tentative return to work date of 3/14. I still have two more ECT sessions to get through. They'll probably want me to do even more than that but I'm doing pretty well with memory and cognitive functioning right now so I don't want to push it. Plus I hate being put under, I'm ****ed up for the whole day. It sucks. But I'm feeling much more hopeful than I have in a while. It's a nice change. Hopefully I can maintain this positive feeling. I cycle so rapidly usually that I only get to feel good for a couple of weeks and then everything crashes down again. But this last time the depression went on for months so maybe the good feeling will last too.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
 1278, Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, BlueInanna, gina_re, jules77, pirilin, raspberrytorte, ~Christina
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 BipolaRNurse, gina_re, raspberrytorte, scatterbrained04, ~Christina
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#2
Mar 03, 2016, 02:00 PM
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I'm so happy for you!!! I know it's been a long battle and it's wonderful that you have some relief. Enjoy!!
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#3
Mar 03, 2016, 02:36 PM
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Wonderful news! Hugs
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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#4
Mar 03, 2016, 03:01 PM
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Fabulous. Your son is only young once. Enjoy him.
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 Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#5
Mar 03, 2016, 03:22 PM
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Ahh that's great news!
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#6
Mar 03, 2016, 03:31 PM
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So happy for you! I know it's been difficult. So right on!
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#7
Mar 03, 2016, 04:12 PM
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Happy for you! Grief is such a hard thing because I feel like it's uncontrollable but it helps when you take the proper steps to get through it in a healthy way. I did grief counseling after I lost my mom at a very young age. It actually scares me more because it something out of our control. No meds can fix the heartbreaking feeling of the loss of a loved one. Let yourself feel however you need to feel. It's healthy to cry, wonder "why" ect. Glad your doing good now though! Keep up the good work.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#8
Mar 03, 2016, 05:33 PM
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So happy you're feeling better, wildflower! Hugs.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#9
Mar 03, 2016, 05:33 PM
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 Yea!!!!!!! I am SO glad for you!!! This is such great news! (P.s. -- unrelated, but thought you'd enjoy... I try to stay aware of what's coming to the area music-wise. Saw one listed and the name seemed so VERY familiar, but I just couldn't place it. Guess what! It's familiar because you quote them in your signature! Streetlight Manifesto -- now I'll HAVE to give 'em a listen!  )
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#10
Mar 03, 2016, 05:43 PM
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Yes, streetlight is going on tour this year! They're coming by me in October and I'm definitely going lol.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#11
Mar 03, 2016, 05:55 PM
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I'm so glad you are feeling better!
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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#12
Mar 04, 2016, 02:47 AM
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I am over the moon happy for you
 Your such a fighter, I really admire you
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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