[1278]

I've never had trouble making friends or having long lasting friendships but I realised once I was diagnosed as bipolar things changed. In my group of friends I was always the jokester, I could be self-depreciating at times and a little introverted when meeting new people but once I was more comfortable I became more outspoken. I have lost most of my close friends after being diagnosed as bipolar, one of main issues is I have changed. I'm not the same happy, jokey, person I was before. The world is a little darker, and I don't seem to smile as much and its harder to wake up in the morning not knowing what mood I'm going to be in. I feel like my friends have abandoned me in my time of need as well, because I know they are studying med and things are hectic, but they haven't tried to contact me, but to be fair I haven't tried to contact them but I guess I'm ashamed because I feel like I'm stagnant and things are not going as planned and I'm just depressed now

[Icare dixit]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling you have stagnated. Frustrating that even a little of that can tip us over and make us be in a state that only makes things worse.

If your friends are studying medicine, maybe you can help them with their studying of mental illness. That way you won't feel like you waste their time even if your not at your "best". Of course, it may also make them accepting of any unreliability they may see in you, while not turning a blind eye when you need support.

Are your friends in any way maybe a bit afraid (the darker sides of) of mental illness? Because they really shouldn't be if they want to become good doctors (not just psychiatrists). Any illness or biochemical dysregulation has a psychological component to it.

[1278]

Thank you, I am also studying med and I know we haven't done the psychiatry block so I don't think they have a full grasp of the illness yet. I took a year off from university and might actually end up not finishing my degree because I am so unstable so I think that adds to the shame I feel as well, as I have high expectations placed upon me.

[pirilin]

Your experience is not uncommon in the bipolar world.
You have changed, they change.
Laugh and the world will laugh with you. Cry and you will cry alone.

[1278]

Originally Posted by pirilin

Your experience is not uncommon in the bipolar world.
You have changed, they change.
Laugh and the world will laugh with you. Cry and you will cry alone.

So true pirilin! I also noticed that I was never the one who 'dominated' the friendship. I'm a very private person so I was never vocal about any issues I faced but now that I am having so many problems, I don't feel their support.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by 1278

Thank you, I am also studying med and I know we haven't done the psychiatry block so I don't think they have a full grasp of the illness yet. I took a year off from university and might actually end up not finishing my degree because I am so unstable so I think that adds to the shame I feel as well, as I have high expectations placed upon me.

Of course provided you can, try to take as much time off as you need. I would however encourage you to keep just busy enough (or lack of routine might destabilise you only further and make the anxiety to start again only worse) by spreading out your course-load more, again if possible. Take enough rest, but also do things to take your mind off your worries.

I have to say that it helps to reach out, even if it makes you uncomfortable. I say this because most people mean well but don't know how to help.
But yes, some are fair weather friends but there will be at least one that isn't.

[1278]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

Of course provided you can, try to take as much time off as you need. I would however encourage you to keep just busy enough (or lack of routine might destabilise you only further and make the anxiety to start again only worse) by spreading out your course-load more, again if possible. Take enough rest, but also do things to take your mind off your worries.

Thank you once again for the advice which I have found so true! I'm going back on Monday and just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I felt as though I shouldn't have left for so long but I had no choice. I was in and out of hospital 3 times last year so I needed the time out.

[1278]

Originally Posted by jupiter3

I have to say that it helps to reach out, even if it makes you uncomfortable. I say this because most people mean well but don't know how to help.
But yes, some are fair weather friends but there will be at least one that isn't.

I think this is true in some cases that I have experienced, they do mean well but don't understand how they can help. Just listening helps so much! I think I have found one person who has tried their best to help in any way she can.

[Xand]

"The hardest thing to do is find a friend or two" ............I had the same experience with my friends in college. When they saw I was suffering from depression, that was the end of the friendships. One person's parting statement was I can't carry you. I wasn't diagnosed with BP1 for another 15 years. I am now happily medicated and functioning at life. So now they see my profile on facebook and want to friend me. I don't think so. What ever happenend to "A Friend in Need" .

[1278]

Originally Posted by Xand

"The hardest thing to do is find a friend or two" ............I had the same experience with my friends in college. When they saw I was suffering from depression, that was the end of the friendships. One person's parting statement was I can't carry you. I wasn't diagnosed with BP1 for another 15 years. I am now happily medicated and functioning at life. So now they see my profile on facebook and want to friend me. I don't think so. What ever happenend to "A Friend in Need" .

I'm so sorry that happened but I'm glad that you are doing well now! I'm having the same experience currently except people won't say it to my face, they just distancing themselves.