[Roaming_bird]

Is it paranoia if most of you thinks that the threat is real, but a part you questions it?

My example -- during my most recent hypomanic state, at the beginning, my pdoc wanted to increase my lamotrigine. I briefly told her that I didn't want to because I was worried she was trying to hurt me with the medicine, that I thought she didn't want me to get well but was experimenting on me, and so was the drug manufacturer and the university where pdoc works.

Unfortunately this was at the very end of the session as pdoc was writing the prescription and reading my chart, so she didn't hear much, and I was hesitant to be more clear with her because I knew it sounded crazy, but mostly I thought it was true.

The next week at my session (my pdoc is also my therapist), I told her what I was afraid of, but that I had read in my journal about the times I was sucidally depressed and how messed up my thinking was and decided to take the lamotrigine.
I told her how my paranoid was last week, saying that most of me thought it was true but my logical part told me it was, but I didn't know what to believe and that I still thought they were trying to harm me.

I struggled with the part of me that logically knew it wasn't true, but this part of me knew it was true. Is that paranoia because I wasn't fully convinced and questioned my beliefs?

[cashart10]

When I was most psychotic, there were many things (such as my mentor having the ability to read my mind) that I kept to myself because I knew everyone would think I was crazy. There were other things (like that God was talking to me) that I believed were not crazy so I told people like my husband, mom, and mentor. So , long story shorter, as long as you believe it is true but it disagrees with reality, it is a delusion.

[DesigningWoman]

I have struggled with paranoia from age 11. I had terrifying real life abuse triggering events. I am always hyper vigilant and have PTSD. I have very serious paranoia and phobias. However I am rarely lost entirely in them. Most of the time part of me is questioning the situation and at times even fighting with the paranoia and rest of my brain. It can be exhausting.
The few times I have 100% believed the paranoia have been frightening. I fully believed what the terror was telling me and behaved as if I was in danger or under attack. Try explaining to a family member you think he is means you bodily harm when he doesn't.
My therapist said the questioning part of me needs to be listened to. That is the rational and realistic part of me. But it can be difficult when I am triggered, paranoid, terrified, and want to crawl under my office desk and hide. Grounding helps me to distract from the paranoid thoughts. You might check out the PTSD forum on PC. Even if you don't have a formal diagnosis, I am over there. I find a lot of good info on handling stress, panic, and paranoia.