[Kooma94]

A few years ago, some months after I turned 18 and moved into my own apartment, I had a 5-6 month period of wild excess. My father died when I was very young and left a small inheritance, which I gained control of after I turned 18. In the aforementioned period of 5-6 months, I managed to blow through perhaps 20000€ of it...

I started drinking a lot, almost every night. On the worst days I'd spend well over 100€ just on alcohol. I'd stay out until all the bars closed and take a taxi home, stumble in, and pass out either on the couch or in the shower. I didn't usually sleep for very long, and after I woke up, I'd have a drink and go out again. I'd spend the time until my favorite pub opened eating alone at expensive restaurants, drinking stupidly complicated 'coffees', and shopping.

I bought fancy clothes (a new suit, vests, overpriced designer crap, jewelry...), electronics I didn't need or even use after I bought them, games I never played, expensive camping equipment left to gather dust, etc.

In addition to the excessive consumption of alcohol, I kept up a constant stream of caffeine. I smoked roughly five times more than I do now. I gained 30kg/66lbs, but I felt amazing. I don't think I thought about my own mortality even once during those months. I would constantly hit on people, even though I sometimes got into trouble for it. I gambled a lot too. I sang constantly, even when people told me not to. Looking back at it, it was probably the best time of my life thus far. I was above all trouble and responsibility, until I came down in a massive crash...

I had paid barely any of my bills during this time. The power company shut off my electricity, I was almost thrown out of my apartment because I was behind on rent and most of my stuff was repossessed to pay for the bills. I got beaten up pretty badly by a junkie over a single cigarette. Almost all of the inheritance was gone. I had a change in mood proportional to the change in my circumstances. I had no energy, I didn't want to see or talk to anyone, so I stayed at home, staring at the wall where my new 3D TV used to be. When I absolutely had to go out to buy food, I would linger on the overpass on my way to the shops and stare down at the cars and trucks, the rational part of me trying to convince the emotional part of me not to do anything foolish. This went on for another few months, until I felt slightly better.

I tried going back to the pub, but it didn't feel the same. The same people who had been there before now felt alien, even slightly scary to me. I've had ups before and after this, but none of them have been as big as this one. So, what do you guys think, could it have been full mania?

[Ocean Swimmer]

Sounds like it. Go to a Psychiatrist. They'll tell you for sure.

[1278]

I think it could have been full blown mania, but you should definitely mention it to your psychiatrist in your next appointment like Ocean mentioned. Sorry I can't be of more help.

[Keegan2015]

Yeah that all sounds very manic to me. Excessive spending, substance abuse, hypersexuality, euphoria, excessive confidence ... all very typical of manic episodes.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I could have written this post myself! Reckless behavior... Not caring about bills... Random sex, A lot... a LOT of substance abuse. I'm very lucky I never ended up in jail or worst. I ended up in IP 3 times and took my medicine for a few months then carelessly decided to stop meds because I thought I was "all better!" I THINK because of the long duration and the level of reckless activities it may be a sign of mania. Maybe even a bit of BPD. But to make sure I'd bring it up with your T or pdoc. I've been hypo and so up and down lately and I think the only thing that's saving me is the fact that I quit drinking and I haven't been leaving my room. The outside world is making me extremely anxious right now and the only thing that helped my anxiety in the past was alcohol. At least im safe lol. Can't get into too much trouble when you won't leave the house right?

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[pirilin]

Well, mania it is. Now, Full mania often involves phychosis, which I don't see.

[Kooma94]

Thank you for your input, everyone! I'll bring this up at the next meeting, I just wanted to figure it out a bit beforehand. Now that I've written it down, it feels so much easier to explain to my psychologist and pdoc.

It sounds more like hypo-mania to me, but of course i am just a layperson. I think the threshold for genuine mania is that you have psychosis and i haven't read anything like that. Your post was very compelling, nonetheless, certainly a serious hypo-mania.

I'm really against alcohol because my mom was a drunk but several years ago i got into drinking during a hm because i just wanted to be wild, wild, wild! I went to this pub alone which is very uncharacteristic for me and drank so much i couldn't read the bill and just left $40 because i figured that would cover it as i was just drinking common beer. When i got in my apartment i was so blasted out of my mind that i fell flat on my face and gave myself a bloody nose.

It's amazing all the ***** i've done while hypo-manic and never got in trouble. I really value sobriety.

I do the reckless spending too. I've bought clothes and accessories that are more appropriate for a rock star, loud and garish when i usually wear sweats. I bought this fuscia boa once! I've never had my electricity cut off but i have to start saving for when i turn 65 in 15 years as my income will be cut by at least 60%. Luckily my mortgage runs out then too so my housing costs will go down 60% too.

I've eaten alone at expensive restaurants too. There's an exclusive steak house in my city and i just popped in there once on a whim when i am virtually a vegetarian.

I'm so indulgent when i'm hm! I just want to sink my teeth into the world and have wild experiences. I'm a homebody most of the year so i have no one to party with and end up going to festivals alone. I don't mind that much tho. When i go places alone i can go at my own pace and leave when i like.

The insomnia is a bore tho. I start sleeping only every second night for a few hours and then i start feeling pretty rundown.

What an absurd life!