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#1
Feb 29, 2016, 05:21 PM
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What my balanced looks like. So let me expand.
I had T today. In our discussion about the depression I'm experiencing we reflected on the last month and determined I had been manic most of the month of February. We established some of the symptoms I experience when manic. This led to the question of what my balanced looks like. I've done some journaling and come up with some characteristics of being balanced. I have more journaling to do. Is it normal to take time to determine what the episodes of mania, depression, and balanced look like? I mean I just feel like it took so long to get the dx. Now it is taking a while to figure out the picture of my episodes in order to better pick out when they are happening. I mean I moved back to MI from TX with a plan of going back in 3 months and it has been 6 years or a little more. Granted my one pdoc was very focused on borderline personality. Its only in the last year or a little more that the dx bipolar came up with my now NP. Ugh! This is just so frustrating. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
 ~Christina
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#2
Feb 29, 2016, 05:32 PM
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I'd say, yes for me and I'm still learning what it feels like to be anxious vs. nervous, or excited vs. hypo manic. Having the bp2 dx has given me a framework to understand some of my experiences. I'm still a little bummed to think that spiritual experiences I had since childhood was hypomania. That said, I'm human and not a diagnosis, just like you.
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 DelusionsDaily
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#3
Mar 01, 2016, 10:09 AM
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Are you still caring for Grandma?
I took care of my Grandparents for a year. I had to hear ,"you know a person can live too long." Every day. So the job you're doing can help to foster depression or mania. Your self esteem is important. I try affirmations. I love myself exactly as I am. I put it and others on a card in bathroom and read it while I'm in there.
__________________
 Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#4
Mar 01, 2016, 11:36 AM
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I would suggest taking all the time you need to figure out what episodes you went trough.
Can be healing and explain your experiences, beliefs and actions at different times in your life.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#5
Mar 01, 2016, 05:17 PM
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I havent cared for grandma in almost a year. I do go see her quite often.
This depression is so tough. It gets darker and darker each minute practically. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#6
Mar 01, 2016, 08:55 PM
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Quote:
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#7
Mar 02, 2016, 12:19 AM
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Yes it's normal and very healthy to journal these things to better understand your symptoms. I've had my DX for 12 years now and I STILL question myself all the time. According to this one pdoc and my bf, I've been hypo for months now. I didn't even realize it! So I'm still learning and I'll probably be learning for the rest of my life. I honestly don't even know what I am today. I'm chatty, posting on sites like mad, focused on my phone yet I'm stressed as hell and won't leave my bed. So I'm questioning if I'm hypo, mixed, whatever! It might also help if you ask your T what they notice as well. It will give you some insight on how the outside world is viewing you right now. They can tell you what symptoms are more obvious to them. Just a thought!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| gina_re
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| gina_re, Wanderlust90
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#8
Mar 02, 2016, 09:37 AM
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I cant take this depression anymore! Ugh! I just want it to be over with! Help! The thoughts are so dark. I emailed T last night and waiting for her to get back to me...probably wont till tonight.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#9
Mar 02, 2016, 04:12 PM
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Dear Daily. Try funny DVDs. Long bath or jucuzzi.
Lots of water. Sleep. All the things that can keep your mind off feeling depressed. Good karma sending to you!
__________________
Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#10
Mar 02, 2016, 04:35 PM
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I'm sorry you're struggling. You seem a bit up and down right now. I hope your T gets back to you. Maybe try calling the office? Do you have a pdoc you can call for a med review? Hang in there! We're all rooting for you, for each other. Post as much as you need if it helps to get it off your chest. This place is pretty much all I have until my next appointment on the 14th  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#11
Mar 02, 2016, 04:49 PM
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T emailed me back. Said she'd likely up Latuda which I refused last week cuz I was in for anxiety. Dont know if i should get the increased dosage of Latuda or wait it out for a bit? The other option is partial?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#12
Mar 02, 2016, 05:05 PM
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If T recommends it then I would give it a try. Can you take any ADs? If so then maybe you should try one. Something that's non activating though since you were going through anxiety. There's only certain ones I can take and lexapro is one of them. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#13
Mar 02, 2016, 05:13 PM
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I dunno. I'm very indecisive. T said it "may be a good idea". She also re-mentioned partial. I dunno. I think NP is against AD's because of BP. Guess I wont know until I talk to someone tomorrow...if I call. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#14
Mar 02, 2016, 05:40 PM
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If you can swing it do partial.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#15
Mar 02, 2016, 06:14 PM
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My problem is I think of it as a second to last resort...being that it is right next to IP in terms of treatment options. I dont know I'll call NP tomorrow. I know her thought is gonna be Latuda...but I dont think I qualify for partial at this point. I just dunno. It's so hard to make these decisions at this point in my depression. We'll see. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#16
Mar 02, 2016, 07:45 PM
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Sit in my room obsessing over my phone, researching mental illness like I will find the answer to it all myself. I feel like this is hypo-mixed also but I haven't met many other who say they do this?
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
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#17
Mar 02, 2016, 07:47 PM
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Sit in my room obsessing over my phone, researching mental illness like I will find the answer to it all myself. I feel like this is hypo-mixed also but I haven't met many other who say they do this? To the OP. I too find it really hard to tell if I'm hypo or if it's me retiring to my norm prior to the onset of most of my symptoms. I'm starting to think maybe I had a really extended hypomania (a positive one) & I got so used to that when I'm baseline now i feel bored & unfulfilled.
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
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#18
Mar 02, 2016, 08:00 PM
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When I'm hypo I switch to diff apps every couple minutes. Like games and this forum. I'll do it aaaalllll day long! My bf calls me addicted and he's probably right. But when I'm "normal" I won't even pick up my phone for days! In the past few days I've been obsessing over my stupid farm games and making my rounds over and over and over (yes, farm games. Embarrassing!). I'm 28! Lol Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#19
Mar 02, 2016, 08:06 PM
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Calling NP tomorrow. TRIGGER TRIGGER***Plan, absolutely no intent yet***TRIGGER TRIGGER Hmmm...she'll want details, not sure I'll go that far. We'll see.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Wanderlust90
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#20
Mar 02, 2016, 08:09 PM
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RxQueen I have about 7 different internet tabs open atm. & about 4 apps, all of which I chop & change between every couple minutes. I can't stop moving my legs. I can't stop thinking. I try & I just sit there I'm like "what now?" & I'm straight back on my phone. I do this but nowhere near as bad when I'm not hypo/mixed. I get mad when someone interrupts me, I'm not interested in anything but what's in my head. When I've exhausted all I can about a certain topic I get mad, like why doesn't someone upload a new article already!!!! I usually hate leaving the house when I'm like this, hate seeing other people, & get ittitable with my partner when he's around.
FarmVille is way addictive haha!
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
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#21
Mar 02, 2016, 08:15 PM
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Be honest with yourself and the NP. It's for the best. Don't sugarcoat anything. If it's what you need, even though it's not what you WANT, then go to partial or even IP. The world will be here when you get back I promise. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#22
Mar 02, 2016, 08:19 PM
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More meds, different meds...NO IP...maybe partial. Thats the fine line I'm gonna tow tomorrow when I talk to NP.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#23
Mar 02, 2016, 10:11 PM
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Really confused...mom and aunt dont see february as manic just highly motivated? And if that is the case where did the crash come from? So confused...
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#24
Mar 02, 2016, 10:34 PM
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Well I'm guessing they don't have BP? They don't know what manic is like so of course they're going to compare it to being "highly motivated". My friends or family would probably say the same thing. My bf or dad says I'm hyper or talkative or happy. They don't even believe in MI so they would say something like that. You have to remember that it's coming from people that have no idea what this MI is like or don't even want to admit we are ill so they want to blame anything but *gasp* bipolar. And as far as what I'm seeing on this thread alone, you were completely fine when you first made the thread and now you are far from it. But I'm no dr so I can't diagnose you. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#25
Mar 03, 2016, 01:36 AM
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Yes, discovering ones symptoms takes a long time. Asking questions like - symptom, motive, natural response, learned response, defense, normal passion... basically you are asking the question - "who am I"? It is an unfolding.
__________________
BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL!  600 mg Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) 30 mg Atarax (hydroxyzine) 8 mg Trilafon (perphenazine) Bipolar 1 - Borderline Personality Disorder - Generalized Anxiety Disorder - Eating Disorder |
| Wanderlust90
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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