[gina_re]

I knew it was too good to be true.
I do not seem destined to be happy
In just one week, I've done a complete 180
Back to keeping my drapes and door closed to my room
Back to sleeping the day away
Back to barely wanting to eat
Back to not even caring anymore
Back into the black hole

Screw you hypomania for giving me a false sense of hope...

[hopeless2015]

Hugs!

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Hey, I'm so sorry. That sucks. Could you maybe Try opening your drapes again and just getting some sunshine or light in there to see if that helps? Just a suggestion. And do you take vitamin D? That can help with depression.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

I'm sorry...right there with you at the moment.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Going through that right now but it feels like it may be heading towards dysphoria. God no... I also took my Seroquel very late last night so that's making my exhaustion worst. Blah. Tried energy drinks and it just made my heart pound yet my eyes still want to close. Screw this.

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[jacky8807]

I'm so sorry. Been there and know the blackness.kicked him out only a short while ago
Wishing you feel better

[Keegan2015]

Do you maybe need a new med or new cocktail to help improve your stability? I've been on lithium for the past couple of months after coming out of a bad depression and it's helped tremendously in terms of improving my mood (apart from a little hypomania here and there). Just a thought, hope you feel better soon

[boogiesmash]

Hope you find some light soon Gina. Try crisp and juicy!!! .

Wait it out. You know this disease and you know you can survive it. Count your blessings... thank God you're not suffering incessant Seroquel dreams about doing my mom. I mean, your mom. Never mind.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Wait it out. You know this disease and you know you can survive it. Count your blessings... thank God you're not suffering incessant Seroquel dreams about doing my mom. I mean, your mom. Never mind.

Wtf? Lmao. Glad I haven't had that side effect.

Before y'all rush to judge me, my mom died ten years ago, so it's not like it's weird or anything.

[BlueInanna]

Laughing so hard I'm crying @ Lefty. Holy **** dude. Guess there's always something to be thankful for.
Ok Gina - big hugs. Take some days to rest & nurture yourself? Hypo could be a depression defense mechanism. Your body mind spirit must have gotten too stressed and overwhelmed. Stay in bed if you need. But maybe consider that advice about keeping curtains open. It helped me today. I didn't get out of bed yesterday. I've spent months straight in bed before in bipolar depression more than once. I'm really scared of it happening again. And it might I have no idea.
I want to tell you to fight it. But not in a way like oh that's easy to do or may not even be possible. I just hate for any of us to fall into depression.
I hope tomorrow will be a new day with new hope for you. Hugs.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Keegan2015

Do you maybe need a new med or new cocktail to help improve your stability? I've been on lithium for the past couple of months after coming out of a bad depression and it's helped tremendously in terms of improving my mood (apart from a little hypomania here and there). Just a thought, hope you feel better soon

I most likely do need an adjustment with my cocktail. But my pdoc has such a full calendar it was so hard to fit me in sooner than I would've have liked. I've been emailing her every few weeks or so and she has me up my Lamictal each time, but not much improvement. My appointment is finally only a week away (next Monday). I cannot wait! I saw my T last Monday, and the little that we talked about really helped. But even though some of the cognitive distortions are not really there anymore, I still feel...empty and don't really get excited about anything anymore. I will say that being around my sister and nephew helps, but they can't stay with me all day every day. Anyway, I came into the office today to help, because otherwise, I probably would've called out today. Now I'm forced to work without the temptation of going back to bed..

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Hope you find some light soon Gina. Try crisp and juicy!!! .

Thank you! I brought this up with my sis, but she's like 7 months pregnant now, so I don't when know we'll make it up there. But I will definitely go some day!

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Wait it out. You know this disease and you know you can survive it. Count your blessings... thank God you're not suffering incessant Seroquel dreams about doing my mom. I mean, your mom. Never mind.

Yea, I know I will survive. Besides, I have a new nephew on the way, so that gives me hope and something to look forward to.
And umm...those dream would be weird.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Laughing so hard I'm crying @ Lefty. Holy **** dude. Guess there's always something to be thankful for.
Ok Gina - big hugs. Take some days to rest & nurture yourself? Hypo could be a depression defense mechanism. Your body mind spirit must have gotten too stressed and overwhelmed. Stay in bed if you need. But maybe consider that advice about keeping curtains open. It helped me today. I didn't get out of bed yesterday. I've spent months straight in bed before in bipolar depression more than once. I'm really scared of it happening again. And it might I have no idea.
I want to tell you to fight it. But not in a way like oh that's easy to do or may not even be possible. I just hate for any of us to fall into depression.
I hope tomorrow will be a new day with new hope for you. Hugs.

I did eventually crack the drapes open, but then it was late in the day, so the light was short lived. I came into the office today because I knew I would not want to work today. I just felt like I would've called out, and I want to try and be as "normal" as I can.
I really appreciate your support, I'm trying, but it's easier to sleep. But now that I take Wellbutrin, I have to force the naps lol. That stuff really is activating.

[gina_re]

I just want to thank everyone for the well wishes sent my way. I have some moments when things are ok, but they tend to be short lived. But reading the comments and all the hugs helped to lift my spirits a little, so thank you.

[pirilin]

I've being thinking and wanting to say so much that nothing comes out.
All I can do for now is wish you the fastest and longest recovery in the shortest time.

No problem Gina, you deserve the support just like everyone on here. I hate depressions. But I also hate manias. So it's hard. But we do cycle out of them. I try and always remember that. Hugs to you.