[CuriouslyCrazy]

Uh oh. I’ve got the angel and devil on my shoulders right now. I still have enough insight to know that I’m bordering uncontrollable mania and that maybe, just maybe I should do something before I totally lose all insight. But only a small part of me actually gives a **** because I don’t actually care about trying to control it before it gets bad. I probably shouldn’t be drinking either. Teetering on the edge of not caring. But that cute little angel on my shoulder is trying to convince me to either contact my T or pdoc because the Lamictal isn’t going to do anything since I just started taking it. But the devil has already convinced me that medication isn’t going to work on me anyway because I don’t have a human brain so pills can’t **** with my brain anyway. Bahaha. How does anyone do what they should when like this?! This angel isn't doing very well trying to convince me.

[Keegan2015]

Whatever you do, be safe and don't do anything you'll regret later.

[chelseabryn]

I know exactly what you mean about not giving a **** and not caring about controlling the downfall. It's tricky. Not sure what to do either.

You're not alone, CuriouslyCrazy!

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[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by CuriouslyCrazy

Uh oh. I’ve got the angel and devil on my shoulders right now.

It sounds as if you know what you need to do and you just don't want to. I understand that. If you trust your pdoc, call him/her and say "I feel this way but don't care." It won't surprise her/him to hear that, and it'll keep the lines of communication open.

And maybe the lamictal is helping that "angel" speak in your ear. I'll hope for that for you.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Please try to pay attention to the angels.

It's up and down our disorder. Be on good terms with your Pdoc and T. Let them help you!