[pirilin]

The first time I smoked was in Cuba. My birthplace.
My parents divorced and I decided to live with my father.
Who loved me so much that couldn't control me.
I made him smoke. But he didn't know how.
I was smoking 1 dollar cigars in 1960. At 11.

My mother managed to send me to my aunt in Mexico. At 13.
I swear I still don't know how she separated me from my father.
No father, no money, no cigars.

I started stealing cigars, but no quality. Then Parliament packs.
Something not very common over there. The best selling brand was Raleigh.
I got caught twice, out of a hundred times.

My aunt couldn't control me either. And kicked me to my uncle in Puerto Rico.
I was 17 by now. Got a GED, but I couldn't make enouch money working part time. My uncle charged me 25 bucks a week, and I was making 50 full time.

My uncle kicked me out when my cousin got married.
I found a better job. Making 90 a week. Enough for renting an efficiency and smoke premium cigars from the Canary Islands. Life was good.

I found a run down bar selling Miller beer for 30 cents. And I got to dance
with the barmaid at the sound of a nickel jukebox. Life was better.
I made it my headquarter. We were a group of like 10 and I was the only one
available seven days a week.

Found my 1st wife thru the group. Boy, did I married up.
I started to work for her father, who later kicked me out when his son got his girlfriend pregnant.

I started my own business and the cigars became inconvenient.
I had a lot of stress and changed to cigarettes again.

At this pace I'll be here 'till midnight. At this point I'm like 27.

Fast forward to the present. Almost.

I was smoking for 50 years. They we moved and I got a big screen tv
to watch the Miami Heat really good, I had a few bets here and there.
Problem is no cigar in the new house. I was watching the games thru the glass doors.
Here is when vaping shows up.
Vaping from a measly pen I never smoked cigars again. That was 3 yrs ago.
I was so enamored of vaping that I spend more than 4k in a year.

My mods have puff count. I was taking in 300 to 400 puffs per day. at 18mg nic. 100% VG (vegetable glycerin) as recommended in ECF.
I was choking myself to death. Then I read in the same ECF that VG could choke some people. PG (polypropylene glycol) was the thing now.
Which is super dry. I should know.I make my own liquids.

Went to the Pulmo. And.....woudn't you now it. Emphysema.

Did the vaping produce the emphysema?. Maybe not.
Did it make it better, hell no.
There is no substitute for the real thing. Fresh air.

Emphysema has a comorbitidy with our friend bipolar. Longevity: 68.9yrs.
I have 66 and change. I'm seriously thinking of going back to my cigars.
If I have a couple of yrs left, I wanna go with a bang.

Besides, real tobacco has MAOIs. That why some of us crave the stinkies.
Vapor has no alkaloids. Only nicotine. Even WTA liquid doesn't have the other
goodies tobacco produces.

Now, in my situation, what would you do?.
Not that I'm going to do it. I just want to hear opinions.

THE END (in more ways than one)

[emgreen]

I smoked for 38 years & quit 2 years ago cold turkey. I save $200 a month now that I otherwise wouldn't have. If you can quit (I know it's difficult) perhaps you can save enough money to buy something you really want, or to go someplace you really want to go. With the money I saved I was able to make a new car payment.

I know emphysema isn't reversible (I'm still short of breath from the years I smoked), but you might be able to go out with a bang if you saved the cash you spend on nicotine. Just a thought. I don't preach because I know how difficult is is to stop smoking.

[otherg]

I'd go with real tobacco, if you can tolerate it.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I started when I was ten years old (I know I know) stealing cigarette butts out of my parents ashtray. Then my friends and I would steal packs from her mothers cartons. By the time I was 14 I had a toy box full of my own cartons lol. As far as alternatives go, I really like the ecigs like vuse blue mint (even though I smoke mon menthols). I really want to quit. The smell alone is embarrassing and the money I smoke away is nuts. Especially when I'm going through a tough financial situation. But since I'm going through so much stress, I smoke more. Vicious cycle. I've tried quitting a number of times too. Nicotine gum helped a lot.

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[Icare dixit]

I would suggest just smoking tobacco. One of the additives is (generally or always: no easy way to tell) acetylcysteine, which also protects your cells (as does nicotine). They probably add it because they also give it to those getting chemotherapy. Honestly, I think it is cancer-promoting in most (less/not for us). Even tar may have some benefits.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I started when I was ten years old (I know I know) stealing cigarette butts out of my parents ashtray. Then my friends and I would steal packs from her mothers cartons. By the time I was 14 I had a toy box full of my own cartons lol. As far as alternatives go, I really like the ecigs like vuse blue mint (even though I smoke mon menthols). I really want to quit. The smell alone is embarrassing and the money I smoke away is nuts. Especially when I'm going through a tough financial situation. But since I'm going through so much stress, I smoke more. Vicious cycle. I've tried quitting a number of times too. Nicotine gum helped a lot.

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That vicious circle is really cruel, given the extreme excise duty. Probably quite many have to find psychiatric or psychological help just/also because of that. Nicotine is just not patentable, you know!

Cigarettes are just not for everyone. Cancer risk doesn't mix well. Anxiety and (consequent, high) neurotoxicity does. Much like all the meds we are prescribed.

[pirilin]

[QUOTE=pirilin;4978786]

This thread was sad and painful. Enough pain and sadness here.
Thank you all for your replies and for reading.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Hi Pirilin!
I've not smoked for 35 years. This month I bought some cigs when I went to Florida. Had 4 packs since. My husband is not here,so I might smoke a little more before going back stateside.

So even though you're sick, if you want cigars ,go for it. My husband smokes cigars and weed,& he has asthma.

Make the most of your time left! Love ya.

[Icare dixit]

[QUOTE=pirilin;4979660]

Originally Posted by pirilin

This thread was sad and painful. Enough pain and sadness here.
Thank you all for your replies and for reading.

If anything I said is particularly painful to you, I am sorry and I will try to delete it (if I still can) or add a trigger warning.



Edit:
Sorry, I can't anymore, but probably a moderator could still.

[Icare dixit]

Ok, let me make one thing clear which I might have understated: cigarettes are not ideal for pulmonary and cardiovascular reasons. Nicotine is very toxic in above-normal quantity: it can shut down your heart, endocrine system and immune system, so everything that keeps you alive. Don't start smoking (again) if you don't do so now. Maybe best not to use any nicotine if you quit smoking.

I would still just enjoy the occasional cigarette (or more, maybe cigars), in your case.

[pirilin]

[QUOTE=Icare dixit;4979685]

Originally Posted by pirilin

If anything I said is particularly painful to you, I am sorry and I will try to delete it (if I still can) or add a trigger warning.



Edit:
Sorry, I can't anymore, but probably a moderator could still.

Neither can I. It wasn't you. It's my story.