Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 04:30 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
So, I went to the meeting I mentioned earlier this week. It was led by my therapist and her boss and joined by my mom, sister, and husband. I thought going into this that it was going to be family counseling; it wasn't. My therapist and her boss just basically educated all of us on how to cope with my illness. They talked with my mother about significantly backing off so I won't be so co-dependent on her. I depend on her for EVERYTHING! She will still be in that role just a little less tangled in my web. They talked with my husband about being responsive other than reactive, reminded him that my illness is beyond my control, and described other methods of controlling his temper. They tried to make him feel a little less helpless which was his stated concern. They also explained to him that there are times that I won't be able to get off the couch and that he needs to have compassion for me. They explained to my sister that she didn't need to try to fix me but instead be supportive. They explained to all of them that there is absolutely nothing they can do to protect me from my own fate and that I have many deterrents that keep me grounded in reality (for the most part). My therapist explained that I am explicitly open with her and that she would know about it and get me help as needed. They explained how to ensure they are helping without enabling me. They told all of us the importance of discussing normal things and not always my health and neediness because that will help to keep me grounded and not constantly wallowing. It will be a good distraction. They described how all of us have been grieving the old me and that they have been avoiding the fact that they must sometimes be caretakers. They explained how counterintuitive this is (although normal) and that we will need to learn a new norm, especially me, since I have very high expectations that I will never meet in my current condition. They explained to me that I need to be okay with the best I can do. They went on and on about how great I am, how capable I am, how much they love and care about me. They built me up and explained how important it is that I take on no insults that others throw my way. They encouraged me. It was wonderful! The meeting lasted 2 hours and they charged nothing. Every one of us, especially my husband, took much away from it. I feel so grateful to them.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
Hugs from:
Anonymous48850, apfei, BastetsMuse, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, BrazenApogee, gina_re, HALLIEBETH87, kindachaotic, pirilin, raspberrytorte, Wander, Wanderlust90, wildflowerchild25, wiretwister

advertisement
  #2  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 04:48 PM
pirilin's Avatar
pirilin pirilin is offline
SUPERMAN
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 3,680
Congrats!!!. (((HUGS))).
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #3  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 04:51 PM
wildflowerchild25's Avatar
wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
I'm so glad! Hopefully it helps!
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #4  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 04:55 PM
Anonymous48850
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
How wonderful! Such a good idea.
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #5  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 05:15 PM
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 10,244
I'm so glad you did this! I hope everyone is able to work together so that life gets easier for you.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #6  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 07:29 PM
otherg otherg is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 228
That's great! Very happy for you.
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #7  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 07:48 PM
violetgreen violetgreen is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 347
Wow! This is great news!
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #8  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 08:28 PM
Wander's Avatar
Wander Wander is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
Excellent news! Really hope this makes this easier for you all.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #9  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 08:30 PM
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 10,244
When will you have insurance for your next big step? Soon right? (Like I have any sense of time.....clozaril just seems to blend into a long line of tired and I'm barely aware of the month right now)
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
Hugs from:
cashart10
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #10  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 09:21 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Thank you all for your support! I am so pleased with the situation and hope it does make a difference in my relationships and my real life supports. Did I mention how much I adore my therapist?
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
  #11  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 09:23 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
When will you have insurance for your next big step? Soon right? (Like I have any sense of time.....clozaril just seems to blend into a long line of tired and I'm barely aware of the month right now)
May 1st is the big day. Ha! I cannot wait. I have been calling pdocs already but I'm striking out. I am hoping the hospital where I am doing IOP will be able to get me in with a good one.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
  #12  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 09:31 PM
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 10,244
I hope so too! I remember how frustrating it was to try to find one when I had insurance for mental health for the first time. I found someone wonderful eventually and I hope you do too. You deserve it.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #13  
Old Apr 08, 2016, 09:53 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
I hope so too! I remember how frustrating it was to try to find one when I had insurance for mental health for the first time. I found someone wonderful eventually and I hope you do too. You deserve it.
Thank you! I had the perfect one but she moved her practice an hour and a half away more than a year ago. My husband won't let me follow her, especially since when I am critically unwell she sees me weekly. He says that it is way too much time and gas. I so wish she would come back this way. It will be hard to fill her shoes. My current pdoc certainly wasn't able to do it.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
Hugs from:
Victoria'smom
  #14  
Old Apr 09, 2016, 11:56 AM
ComfortablyNumb5's Avatar
ComfortablyNumb5 ComfortablyNumb5 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,504
This sounds like a great idea and a positive step in the right direction! Wow, I need this for my family!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #15  
Old Apr 09, 2016, 12:02 PM
gina_re's Avatar
gina_re gina_re is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 3,537
This is so amazing!! I'm glad it worked out so well and I'm happy for you!
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #16  
Old Apr 09, 2016, 12:04 PM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 3,418
So glad for you, what an amazing session!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds
Lamictal 200 mg x2
Seroquel 100 mg
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #17  
Old Apr 09, 2016, 12:40 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Yes. I was so surprised that my husband didn't bring up how terrible and draining I am to him. Like I mentioned, the only concern he stated is his helplessness. I suppose that is where the cruelty and meanness come from. So far he has treated me like an equal. I just hope he doesn't forget this meeting in time.

He is also still open to couples therapy.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
  #18  
Old Apr 13, 2016, 04:30 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
One would have figured that the results of this meeting would have held a little longer than a few days with my husband. But, Sunday morning my husband called me and asked that I come home and make my kids pickup all of the inside toys that were outside and bring them in before I went to my parent's house. I did just that.

Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from him asking me why I can't follow simple directions. I had, it appeared, overlooked a book and another toy. I explained to him that this was obviously unintentional as I had clearly had the kids pick up the majority of toys. He insisted that he was not going to go outside and pickup the items but it would instead have to be me or the kids. He told me that I should just go ahead and stay at my parents and not come home. I started crying and he asked me if everyone around him knew what was going on. I told him it wasn't exactly a surprise since I was crying.

The next day I asked if he felt remorse at least. He said yes and that he was sorry and that he had a very bad day.

But, then this morning, he said (in reference to my IOP group) "I wish you weren't effing going to this stupid *** thing."

I called my mom this morning and I told her what he had said. She said it would be fine. I said, "yeah, it will be fine." She said, "no I didn't mean it like that. I'm not taking up for him I just know it will turn out okay."

My day was ruined. I had so much anxiety during my group that I almost literally climbed under the table. I asked my mom if I would be able to move in with her and my dad if something happened to my husband and me. She told me not to even go there.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
Hugs from:
wildflowerchild25
  #19  
Old Apr 13, 2016, 04:36 PM
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 10,244
Oh cash, I'm praying for you. I don't know what to say but I am praying.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #20  
Old Apr 13, 2016, 04:42 PM
ComfortablyNumb5's Avatar
ComfortablyNumb5 ComfortablyNumb5 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,504
When it comes to men, or maybe even humanity in general, I find that the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is quite true. I'm not saying your husband will never change, don't get me wrong. But if he does, it will be after much work is put in. I myself fall into this saying a lot of times too. So I'm no angel myself.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks for this!
cashart10
  #21  
Old Apr 13, 2016, 05:07 PM
BrazenApogee's Avatar
BrazenApogee BrazenApogee is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: First star to the right and straight on till morning
Posts: 759
I'm glad they worked this. It sounds like a good step.
Thanks for this!
cashart10
Reply
Views: 1449

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:08 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.