[zepchic]

I am so frustrated with all the hoops that I have to jump through. I go to a community clinic with stupid rules and limited resources, my insurance is hasseling me that they won't pay for my 'new med' (just an increase in dose from the old one, so wtf? ), and the pharmacy is stupid too trying to count my one 450mg script as two diff scripts(1 150mg and 1 300mg) and making me feel like an idiot for not getting it. My ins. will only pay for 3 scripts so if they split one into 2 I have to pay for more.

So in true bipolar fashion I decided to give everyone a big FU and go off my meds. LOL, I know right...talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. I started one at a time with my antipsychotic, but did not taper. I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't do it. I also ramped up the drinking and mixing meds/drinking. wtf is wrong with me? -oh yeah I am bipolar

I called my therapist for an appt, but she didn't return my call and the secretary says she doesn't have anything available till my next appt. (2 weeks)

I know I am in a bad place, but can't seem to get my feet under me to get help. I feel like if I could just see my therapist that I could avoid inpatient.

Though I feel saner today, suicidal thoughts have subsided, so maybe I will be ok.

[pirilin]

Wishing you the very best!!!.

[Victoria'smom]

I believe your dr has to split the scripts and the pharmacy just has to send over a form.

[seoultous]

Does your t have a cancellation list you could get on? Maybe talking things over with your t may help you feel better.

[piano97]

I feel ya....Take your meds though What are you on?
Things can be hard with the hoops. You kind of have to learn how to be your own case manager to successfully navigate the environment. And not let it get to you or take it personal. Pretend like you're managing someone's case
Hang in there.

[zepchic]

I dropped the risperdone, still taking lithium and wellbutrin and klonopin. I feel better now like I've come over the hump from stopping the risperdone, but now I wonder if I should go back on it, like I shouldn't have quit in the first place. I feel like quitting the med was like pulling a spring and watching it bounce. Feeling really good, but possibly bordering manic, idk. Thanks for responding.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by zepchic

I dropped the risperdone, still taking lithium and wellbutrin and klonopin. I feel better now like I've come over the hump from stopping the risperdone, but now I wonder if I should go back on it, like I shouldn't have quit in the first place. I feel like quitting the med was like pulling a spring and watching it bounce. Feeling really good, but possibly bordering manic, idk. Thanks for responding.

Hmmm. How long ago did you quit the risp? What mg where you on and how long where you on it? I ask because risp can have a nasty withdraw. I've experienced it before and my doctors all warn me whenever they see it on my med list. I'm currently trying to only take it PRN when im dysphoric. I'd say if you're going to quit it then at least keep a few by if you get sick.

I too go to a community clinic and am on Medicaid. I know what it's like. One crappy pdoc after another over here! But think about all the work it took just to get in there. Why would you want to screw that up? I know in my place there is a huge waiting list and I still haven't gotten in to see a T because of how short staffed they are.

[piano97]

I got on a kick where I HAD to quit risperdal. No questions asked, I was coming off it.

I'm now back on a small dose, and have seen noticeable improvements in my clarity of thought, ability to do well at work, sleep quality, and other things.

I would encorage you to go back on it. The hypomania it induces by stopping is not worth it. Nothing wrong, at all, with being on a smaller dose that what you were before. I think doctors, without intention, give too high of doses.

So, say you were taking 2mg, and have been off it, try 1mg at night for awhile. Or even .5. That might sound small, but I don't think it is with risperdal. It's a question of finding the just right theurapeutic dose.

Just my two cents. Risperdal has been very helpful to me, at the right dose. I didn't do so well at higher doses, or without it completely.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by zepchic

I am so frustrated....

I hear your frustration, but as you say, going off meds all at once only hurts you.

Get your pdoc to rewrite your script so the pharmacy can put it together into one prescription, or change pharmacies.

Talk to someone about this frustration. You've made a good start by posting it here.

Good luck.

[zepchic]

It was only .5mg for a few months. I reasoned with myself because I had been sick with migraine and throwing up and didn't take anything for 24 hours, that it was no big deal. If I can manage to not be a total ***** without it...why take it...I just get so tired of the bs. Stupid to take it out on myself though.