[BeyondtheRainbow]

I had a migraine and woke up from the meds WIDE AWAKE and anxious. So I started stupidly trying to calm the main anxiety, my budget for next month. Except my bank's site is down and I can't check my balance there. So now I'm convinced I have no money in my account and will have all sorts of financial woes this month.

I hate this kind of anxiety. I've been feeling it more lately. I may have to add back in a daytime dose of gabapentin. Which I"m afraid of because I'm already sleeping 12-15 hours per day from clozaril.

As for now......I hate when migraines make me restless.

No offense, but 12-15 hours a day of sleep sounds excessive, especially if you're adding gabapentin. Have you tried other atypical APs, or just a different mood stabilizer altogether?

I get 10-11 hours on Latuda and I'm planning on getting rid of it. 10-11 hours is too much for me. I want to go back to my 7-8 hours.

Anyway, I hope you can check your bank balance soon.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

It is excessive. I've been on every med that I can take; clozaril is only used when no other drugs are options. I pretty much eliminated all typicals this summer with a(nother) round of movement disorder; I am so likely to get it that my pdoc doesn't want to try again (I'm sure if it's the only option in the world we will but the risk is extremely high). I am allergic to many many meds and have been on 41 meds and 70 cocktails without counting dose changes.

Clozaril is known for being heavily sedating and I'm new to it so the dose is still being adjusted. Because of my long history of failing we are making only one change per month. So it will get better but right now it's rough. Which is pretty typical for clozaril.

This is way too much sleep and it's really frustrating. I feel so much better (you weren't here when I was really sick but I was very, very sick for many months and for months before that without PC) and no longer want to die every minute of every day but I get mad at myself because I want to be able to do more and I'm too tired to succeed. But it will get better. I dropped some last month and it helped. I just have to figure out how to make myself less sensitive to sunset. When I came home from the hospital taking meds at 7:30 was perfect; I was asleep at 10:30. Now that it is light later that is getting pushed back which makes me anxious.

At least I got into the bank account and I had more money than I thought possible (I owe it to my mom but I have it) at this point in the month.

Sorry if I'm rambling. Not enough sleep tonight. Stupid migraine.