suprise at reading your old posts ....

I just read an old post ... and wow it did not even seem like me ... as my moods change (or my meds) of course my views of things change too ...
it is like opening my journal and seeing how I have changed over time ... an on line public journal .... I only hope I am getting more compassionate ...

Well, that's why it's called bipolar... at least two different points of view!

I dont even recognize myself! I hope its because im finding my writing voice. Yeah, thats the ticket!

I found a printed copy from one of my first posts on here. I was still insisting that I wasn't bipoar....nope not me. My PTSD was still a greater problem than the BP......I've changed a lot. For one thing my posts are much shorter. Yes it is a surprise to come across old posts. I'd like to think I've evolved for the better.

I have learned 90% of the time, then I cannot commit to something or some idea or decision going on just 1 day. :/ I change too much all the time.

Sometimes I post on here when I am more on the hypo manic or manic side so I look back and question what the heck I was thinking. I sometimes slide down into my chair in embarrassment whilst reading them at the Starbucks. I also will giggle at them.

I also forget my younger wisdom and it refreshes my youthful look on life.

I did that a while ago. It was pretty depressing. I think I tend to post a little more when depressed anyway. I just have to get the feelings out and having feedback from my family helps. But they're not all gloom and doom posts. I also definitely post way more now than I used to, however.

My posts aren't that old, but I did ask for a lot of help when I first joined.

I actually joined because was in denial about my BP diagnosis and I wanted to "confirm" that I was bipolar. In hindsight, I should have thought about my reaction to ADs. I was in a deep depression, so I took Lexapro and instantly felt better after 1-2 days on it. lol. That should say something!

Also, my pdoc, a couple of psychologists, and my therapist kept telling me I was bipolar. So yeah, there was that too.

:3

I cringe when I read my old posts!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I just went back and read my very first post. It still has not changed. Lack of friendships...

I haven't been a really heavy poster so I haven't been shocked from old posts. But about a year and a half ago I was in a mixed psychotic state and all I did was write about my thoughts and feelings in my school note books during class, in word docs, or on scraps of paper at home. I went back and read some of them recently and it was enough to sufficiently scare the **** outa me.

I think it's crazy to see how radically different my thought processes and beliefs are when I'm that far gone, brings new meaning to the word "insane".

Oh and don't even get me started on FB. I'm always going back and deleting my posts because I look so stupid. I post ALOT when I'm hypo.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am with you there, lollll... from anxiety, panic, ocd, psychosis, mania, and depression.. I even posted from the psych ward, lollll

ohhh.. forgot about hypo and alphabetizing my spice cabinet, lollll
.
.

I've had to apologize due to some of my old posts and I bet if I read through them if throw out many more apologies. I can be an outright ashmole sometimes . My compassion goes out the window when manic I'm afraid

I have found that, not so much with my posts on here (but I haven't been here that long) but more with my journal. Like when I'm hypo and I read things I wrote when I was depressed I can't imagine feeling that way, and vice versa.

Sometimes when I come down from a hypo episode I'll read my posts and not even remember making them

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

for me it feels like someone else must have written that .... just in my hand .... seems impossible ... to be that different ... it goes to what I have always said ... we are looking out from our perspective that we color ourselves .... but the world (others) see us as we really are .... a rude awakening for sure ...

Look through the eyes of someone who loves you.... Or a pet. Then you will see your true worth.

I don't read my old posts so much as read my old journals. Sometimes i am pleasantly surprised that i'm not the boring person i feel like so much of the time and my day are not nothing days at all.