[Onward2wards]

This may sound outright silly, but by studying what euphoric hypomania is like (as opposed to the dysphoric variety), I'm learning how to define what my unipolar depression really is (as well as how to tell it what to go do with itself). It is basically the absolute opposite of euphoric hypomania. I almost feel like wearing a bracelet labeled "WWHD" meaning "What Would Hypomania Do?"

Hypomania: "What could possibly go wrong?" My Depression: "What could possibly go right?"

H: "That looks like fun!" MD: "I bet that won't be worth the effort".

H: "I feel so alive and I love me today!" MD: "I suck. I'm going back to bed."

H: "The world is full of exciting possibilities". MD: "I tried that, it didn't work, it never will. Guess I just fail at Life."

H: "With effort, anything is possible!" MD: "With effort ... I will just feel more tired."

H: "The world is so full of vibrant meaning. You just have to look". MD: "It's all so futile and meaningless. I'm bored."

See how this works? Sounds completely daft, but it actually works!!

(MD: "This is the absolute most embarrasingly stupid post that has ever wasted bandwidth on the internet. You're being a Pollyanna and also annoying people. You always have to say dumb stuff don't you? It won't work, you know.")
I'm not trying to romanticize genuine and disruptive hypomania, by the way, but ...
Waving my bracelet, Depression. In your face! Like a BOSS!!! And maybe, just perhaps, somebody out there smiled today, or even ... giggled a bit? Did I make a difference today?

It IS basically the absolute opposite of euphoric hypomania! That's what puts the polar in bipolar!

Yup, a smile. It's not stupid or pollyanna. It's actually a bit like the way I envision fighting depression. Like this: You take it further (in a good way!). I am only armed with the Sword of Baseline. You wield the (kick-azz, awesome, invincible, woohoo-bladed) Sword of Euphoric Hypomania! Power to ya!

Hey, whatever we can duke it out with, right?

My mixed states are ironic

One time I was like, "I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO DO, BUT SO LITTLE TIME. I CAN'T PICK!!! ......but also, everything is boring. I can't actually do anything."

lol.

Another time I was like, "Wow, I feel so f***ing horrible. I just want to die... Should I just kill myself now and get it over with? Well, I'll think about that later because I have to work." Then I left for work at 4:30am and got there at at 4:45 because I was driving 100mph on the highway. I got SO many things done, but was weeping at my desk nearly the whole time.

Lol, bluebicycle! It was quite awhile back, but I remember being very depressed (I didn't know about mixed then, plus I went through a really horrific mixed a few years ago and have trouble seeing anything lesser as mixed, but anyway....)

One time, I remember not seeing the point of bothering to get more hair conditioner because I wouldn't be around to use it, yet had been wondering if maybe we should get a new vacuum cleaner (even though we had a really good one that worked). WTF?!