[cashart10]

I've seen several posts similar to this one in the past, but I have some specifics to ask. My pdoc advised me that I have OCD at my last appt. He has thrown this at me before but only in passing and mainly because my thoughts get stuck in such a loop. However, I can read and reread the same email (or a sentence from an email) for hours and hours at a time. I have a bizarre obsession with music and a compulsion to listen to the same song on repeat sometimes for a night but often for months and months at a time and feel a part of the song (for instance, right now Beach Boy's Sloop John B). I also take numerous very long showers when I am manic. I have at times been obsessed with people to the point I will stare at their picture and cry, follow them around, email them compulsively. All of this is OCD, right? These are the things he's referring to? It mostly occurs during my episodes. My main question: can OCD be ONLY related to Bipolar cycles? Can one cause or worsen the other? How does this work? Thank you!

[BlackSheep79]

When I'm manic my OCD is intensified. I also have trichotillomania, which intensifies big time. It's like both illnesses are intertwined with one another, if that makes sense. This is how it works for me.

Originally Posted by cashart10

I've seen several posts similar to this one in the past, but I have some specifics to ask. My pdoc advised me that I have OCD at my last appt. He has thrown this at me before but only in passing and mainly because my thoughts get stuck in such a loop. However, I can read and reread the same email (or a sentence from an email) for hours and hours at a time. I have a bizarre obsession with music and a compulsion to listen to the same song on repeat sometimes for a night but often for months and months at a time and feel a part of the song (for instance, right now Beach Boy's Sloop John B). I also take numerous very long showers when I am manic. I have at times been obsessed with people to the point I will stare at their picture and cry, follow them around, email them compulsively. All of this is OCD, right? These are the things he's referring to? It mostly occurs during my episodes. My main question: can OCD be ONLY related to Bipolar cycles? Can one cause or worsen the other? How does this work? Thank you!

Those things don't sound exactly like OCD...at least from what I've read/know about it (obviously I'm not a Dr though). I believe OCD involves obsessive thoughts that then result in compulsive behaviors as a means to alleviate those thoughts/worries - it's all about anxiety!!!. It's different than doing something over and over because you enjoy it (like the showers), or getting really hyper-focused on something / someone, which is obsessive, but not necessarily OCD.

I was diagnosed OCD years ago (and have pretty much resolved it using CBT) and for years would obsess about getting herpes (no idea why!) - I would literally spend hours a day thinking about it, the same loop over and over and over and then compulsively check my body for symptoms over and over and over - sometimes the compulsion was so strong I would do so while driving 90 down the freeway. For me, this kind of obsessing is really different from hypomanic obsessing, which usually includes obsessive researching, listening to music, and working on projects. But I don't do these things because I believe I'm warding off something I'm anxious about - even if I'm anxious while doing them, I don't believe my actions are protecting/curing me from something else - that's the big difference (look up 'magical thinking' - kind of explains the ritualizing/superstition that often occurs). I also think OCD obsessions are usually pretty specific and sustained over time, together with the compulsory behavior - it wouldn't come and go with your cycles really, though it could obviously be much morse at times, just like any other anxiety disorder.

[raspberrytorte]

I've been listening to the same two songs on repeat for going on a year now. Lol! But seriously, I wonder about the OCD thing too, just because when I get psychotic I have the compulsion to write the same sentences over and over again (I have an entire notebook with the same three sentences written over and over again), but it's because I feel I can make them come true through harnessing positive energy. Probably not the same as OCD though.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

Those things don't sound exactly like OCD...at least from what I've read/know about it (obviously I'm not a Dr though). I believe OCD involves obsessive thoughts that then result in compulsive behaviors as a means to alleviate those thoughts/worries - it's all about anxiety!!!. It's different than doing something over and over because you enjoy it (like the showers), or getting really hyper-focused on something / someone, which is obsessive, but not necessarily OCD.

I was diagnosed OCD years ago (and have pretty much resolved it using CBT) and for years would obsess about getting herpes (no idea why!) - I would literally spend hours a day thinking about it, the same loop over and over and over and then compulsively check my body for symptoms over and over and over - sometimes the compulsion was so strong I would do so while driving 90 down the freeway. For me, this kind of obsessing is really different from hypomanic obsessing, which usually includes obsessive researching, listening to music, and working on projects. But I don't do these things because I believe I'm warding off something I'm anxious about - even if I'm anxious while doing them, I don't believe my actions are protecting/curing me from something else - that's the big difference (look up 'magical thinking' - kind of explains the ritualizing/superstition that often occurs). I also think OCD obsessions are usually pretty specific and sustained over time, together with the compulsory behavior - it wouldn't come and go with your cycles really, though it could obviously be much morse at times, just like any other anxiety disorder.

That makes entire sense. I wonder what perspective my pdoc was coming from? I will have to ask. I will say "the shower thing" is not just because I enjoy it but also to ward off demons. I do only tend to do it when I am manic though. If I am depressed I can go 4 days with no showers.

When you are showering to ward of demons are you aware in the moment that this is illogical? Are you in touch with reality still? That seems like another distinction maybe...I don't believe people suffering from OCD are considered psychotic. It's like you KNOW what you're doing and that it's not going to work/makes no sense but can't help yourself from doing it anyway.

ugh, sorry if it sounds like I'm trying to diagnosis you! (or un-diagnosis you)...I'm supposed to be writing my dissertation write now and I'm procrastinating

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

When you are showering to ward of demons are you aware in the moment that this is illogical? Are you in touch with reality still? That seems like another distinction maybe...I don't believe people suffering from OCD are considered psychotic. It's like you KNOW what you're doing and that it's not going to work/makes no sense but can't help yourself from doing it anyway.

You are completely fine to analyze me. My pdoc has never mentioned this diagnosis before except in passing and he has known me for ages. To answer your question, 3 years ago, when I had a psychotic break, I absolutely believed these things to be true. Now, however, I know in my mind they are not true but I still entirely worry that they are true. If that makes any sense.

On a completely different note, I read this post and then headed to bed without responding. My husband was just telling me today that I need to drink more water as I had vertigo today. I absolutely cannot sleep because it has occurred to me that the Holy Spirit does indeed like water and that demons are drawn from it. That's why he said that because he knows what I don't and is afraid to tell me for fear I will go off the deep end. Furthermore, since I have gained weight, I am more likely to be demon filled than I used to be. I have got to get my rational brain back before I balloon into a big ball of crazy. That's why I'm back on here.

Good luck on your dissertation.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband 's ocd gets worse when in episode.

I have OCD but seems separate from my bipolar. Links into my anorexia a lot. Not recommended lol

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[Pastel Kitten]

I do the exact same thing with music. I listen to the same song over and over again for very long periods of time. Then I start to associate certain time periods of my life with a particular song because I listened to it so much. I didn't know this could be OCD related, but it certainly stuck out as odd to me for years

[BeyondtheRainbow]

You sound like you have more like what I do, which is OCDsorta. My therapist says I meet the criteria but only barely and only in a kind of twisted way so I don't really have it but I'm so close that I still need treatment at times. We've done a lot of CBT and it is more controlled than it used to be. It can be hard for me to sort out what is hypomanic thinking and what is the OCDsorta and so he kind of watches for when I am stuck and he helps me sort the 2 out. It's sort of hard to explain and I can't think of an example but it is something we've worked on for a long time.

[BNLsMOM]

I forget what the doctor called it, but once when I was hospitalized I was told that I have the thoughts of OCD without the compulsions. I had repeating disturbing images and phrases in my mind, but no real drive to do anything related to them. I wish I could remember the name the doctor used for it, but I just can't remember.

[jacky8807]

Pure "o" maybe?

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

Pure "o" maybe?

Yes! That was it!

When we think of OCD we tend to think of the man fastidiously washing his hands, the woman lining everything up on the table, and the inidividual repeatedly checking if the stove is turned off. But OCD manifests itself differently in every person. For some people it is needing order for others it is repetition, for others it is routine. Common to all though is the thought that something bad may happen if the set routine is changed or not followed. Often an OCD person thinks themselves as merely supersticious - if I wear 'those' pair of socks I will have good luck but if I wear the other something bad always happens.

I am all about routine - doing the same thing the same way every time. I once worked as a night security guard. Every walk about I did in the same order touching each door in the same place even humming the same series of tunes. I had horrible thoughts of bad things happening to my children if I at all veered away from my set routine. And I am quite supersticious.

[MBM17]

I have trichotillomania too!