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#1
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so I recently came out of a Parmacollogicaly induced Psychiatric Medically induced I like to call it a "WALKING COMA" where I was medicated for the past 20 years with no chance of recovery and a total and permanent disability tag that sais I am unresponsive to treatment for my bipolar (schizo affective disorder).. My most recent doctor began treating me with subutex and 20-15 milligrams of valium on top of 1.5 grams of lithium, 1 gram of epilim and 10 mg of zyprexa -- a cache of anti depressants that made me suicidal and even more crazy and 1-2 grams of xanax which I dutifully took for 17 years straigtht as the 10 doctors I saw over the 18 year period warned me that if I did not take the medication I would instantly relapse into mania and be hospitalized with insanity... 6 months on now cold turkey off the lot and then some.. anyway here I am six months unmedicated with the only condition I have is a sore neck and a wisdom tooth causing me problems... I think the procedure where doctors everywhere will just continue to prescribe anyone with a said condition is malpractice as doctors do not-- before prescribing and continuing treatment-- ever actually review the original diagnosis or check brainwaves or follow up or even give a sweet you know what as to whether or not the medication the person is on is actually active or their symptoms are simply a result of the MEDICATION THEY ARE ON.... for me in my case NOT SURE for everyone but I was blood level tested every 3 months just to check my levels are at a certain range -- the act that I have doctors reports stating I am unresponsive to treatment did not seem to prompt anyone to investigate if the medication I was on was actually the reason for my increasing and ever spiralling deterioration of mind body and soul... so when the last doctor began prescribing subutex, subramorphine( i think) and an extra 10 mg of valium a day... on top of 1.5grams of lithium, 1 gram Epilim , 20 mg Zyprexa , Nordip, 2grams of xanax -- a plethora of anti depressants that caused suicidal ideation.. need i go on which as I dutifully took for 17 years straight on advice of all doctors and Psychs and support groups etc... I had a major melt down and was assessed at the Head Psych in a hospital in my capital city and with extreme fear I would be locked up for good in a mental home the Head Psych asked me why I was taking the medication ... the reason for the review was the current doctor I was seeing actually spent an hour and a half trying to cover his own mistake for over prescribing I believe an pass me onto the system for assesment so he was then clear of any mistakes he made.. The doctors are smart in covering their own tracks.. I have found after 17 years of monthly visits to doctors the only thing they seem to be interested in is filling out your script no questions asked... DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS TREND OR AM I ALONE IN THIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT>> I WOULD LOVE TO BE CONTACTED ABOUT THIS....anyyway 6 months off the meds cold turkey I stayed awake for 3 months and went through massive withdrawals and major electrical chemistry malfunctions I believe due to the epillim (anti epileptic medicine) FUNNILY THE DOCTORS WOULDNT EVEN GIVE ME A VALIUM OR SLEEPING AID WHEN I WOULD GO IN AAND TELL THEM I HAD NOT SLEPT FOR OVER A MONTH __ EVEN A PSYCHOLOGIST I WAS SEEING WOULDNT PRESCRIBE ME OR TELL MY GP I HADNT SLEPT FOR OVER MONTH __ WHY anyway I survived a 17 year battle against what the Head Psych said I should have only been treated for 6 months to a year at most... instead I was convinced - by doctors relaying to me I was absolutlty incapable of recovery with an incurable mental illness that I would forever be doomed to live with... so to cut a long story short I have spent my life in the Health department professionally not functioning very well and was really just being taken care of by a kind hearted Boss who just happened to like me and gave me and my family a safe job meanwhile over 13 years they watched deteriorate to the point of meltdown... but they thought just as I did that it was my mental illness that was the problem... little did I know what my recent doctor told me very well with the analogy I was diagnosed with a broken arm 17 years ago -- but no doctor ever took the cast off and just continued to pump me full of drugs and treat me for the broken arm - AND THEY BASICALLY LEFT THE CAST ON THE ARM FOR 17 YEARS .... now after losing 40 kilograms quite healthy with the only medical condition being a wisdom tooth that needs removal and a bit of a sore neck |I find myself here in this forum getting off my chest and hoping I find similar stories to support my pligt and the destruction I have caused my loving family who supported me all this time amazingly without thought just like me they thought ( were convinced as I was) I was crazy... i you believe in God or whatever - maybe it was that but I woke up one day after my doctor had refused to prescribe me any more medication because I was so overdosed on the list of meds above that I couldnt even write my name or walk down the street anymore.. i stopped medication and began the paranoid descent into withdrawal of all the Psych meds and into full fear I would go manic go insane and be locked in a mental home for good... lo and be hold my newest doc noticed I was getting better without medicine.... The head Psych in my town said I should stop the medicine -- I did and have not looked back.... now trying to help others with the same problem but I am not a doctor -- all I see is my so called mental friends convinced they have to take massive doses of Psych meds like serequil?? etc.. whatever knocks them out completely so they dont complain about anything... ....is this a common story -- I know its long winded but I am glad I got this off my chest and am at peace with my new found peace....had to tell someone -- the crazy people I have been telling this to for the past 6 months are so medicated and mental -- they understand what I am saying but like me they too are convince if they do not take thir medication for the rest of their lif they will be locked up and the kwey thrown away... What does anyone think - I hope I didnt just qwrite all this like a facebook post where no one replies.....does anyone think I have a chance for compensation or should we concentrate on EDUCATING DOCTORS TO LOOK AFTER PATIENTS AND NOT THEIR BACK POCKETS.... SIGNED A CONCERNED CITIZEN AND I WILL CALL MYSELF A VICTIM OF THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES - THERES GOLD IN THEM THAR PILLS....
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![]() Anonymous59125, Nammu
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![]() Nammu
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#2
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It may just be a tiny bit long-winded, as you said.
![]() But you convince more people if you are more nuanced. You are more nuanced if you are less manic. You may use meds just to blend in. But maybe other things may help you too. If you can't do those other things, you may use meds just for a while. Not all meds are equally harmful. Xanax and Valium are (see how nuanced I am ![]() But it's always nice to hear an honest and rather selfless opinion than a nuanced deception. And there's definitely some truth in what you say. But the more you assert, the more likely you're wrong. If you're truly doing fine than all's fine. I wouldn't file a complaint though. Not with such bluntness.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#3
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I'm sorry for all you've been through over the past 17 years. I hope things continue to improve for you. Do you still meet with the doctors for check in's? Are you getting some therapy?
About suing them, it's probably more stress than it's worth. I thought about (still might) filing charges when they hospitalized me against my will for no other reason than being manic. I was told I might win, but it would be hard because they had 3 different doctors evaluate me so it's my word against there's. I never said I would hurt myself or others and I was able to care for myself so I still have a case if I wish to proceed, it will be an uphill battle though. Have you consulted a lawyer about your case? Best of luck to you. Stick around, everyone is nice here and give great feedback. (((Hugs))) |
#4
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I have a similar story. I was given SSDI in my late 20's and told I was too disabled to ever work again and for many years over medicated. It wasn't for decades before I questioned that. Long long story short, I m on less medication and doing better than I have since my mid 20's. But...I also have benefited from very good therapy. If I did it all over knowing what I know now..id refuse the antidepressants and benzos say yes to low doses of AP and mood stabilizer and concentrate solely on therapy.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous59125
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#5
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For me antipsychotics are what has made me happy and stable. I'm not loopy or out of it. Everyone responds to medications differently. Without aps. I'm a mess. They have their drawbacks, but like I said I'm stable and happy. Good luck to you
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I'm bipolar 1, agoraphobic, ocd, and gad. Fairly happy go lucky. Prozac 20mg Geodon 80mg Saphris 10mg Lamictal 150mg All I can offer is my heartfelt honesty |
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