Newly Diagnosed

When I say "newly diagnosed", I mean it was just 3 weeks ago that I received the diagnosis and accepted it.

There was a period of mania that landed me in a counseling office about 3 years ago. I received a diagnosis after spending a lengthy amount of time discussing my traumatic childhood and my hectic situation at the time. I was started on Abilify, but stopped taking it because I couldn't function. It felt like I was in a bubble and everyone around me was outside of the bubble. I couldn't hear them--everything was hazy. I was scared of the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder and it wasn't something I wanted to be attached to. I fell into a depression, got over it, and continued on with life. I didn't really tell anyone about the diagnosis, except for those really close to me.

A year ago to the day, my best friend died from a massive pulmonary embolism. We had plans a few short days after her death. Her death propelled me into the worst manic episode I have ever experienced. 3 months of mania lead me to 2 botched suicide attempts, failed classes at the local university (after maintaining a 3.75 for 3 years), and quite a few disagreements with family members about my mental health. Still, I was able to convince everyone I was fine and I continued on with my life....until about 2 months ago.

I started making really bad decisions, hanging around people that did not have my best interests in mind, and doing things I don't normally do. I stopped sleeping, eating regularly, and spending time with my husband. I recognized some of the same trends from the past summer and decided it might be time to seek outpatient treatment.

Due to insurance reasons, I discovered that I wouldn't be able to get into out patient treatment for months. After weeks of dealing with the stress of being denied the treatment I so desperately needed, my husband talked me into going inpatient. That turned out to be the best decision I've made. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started on medications right away. I'm more stable now than I have been in a long time, although it hasn't been a cake walk.

I'm somewhere between trying to figure out which emotions are caused by rapid cycling and which are associated with the grieving process.

well,

welcome to this section of the forum.

i hope it helps you

Hello kltoomey: I'm glad you found the help you needed in in-patient treatment. Yes, it certainly can take a while to sort through all of the various emotions that come from having a mental illness along with those that are simply the inevitable result of day-to-day life. If you are at long-last able to get into individual therapy, this should help.

Welcome, kltoomey!

Welcome, I'm glad IP helped you so much.

Welcome. Bipolar is a hard diagnosis to accept Its good you have. Cheers to stability.

Welcome to the club! You'll be receiving your welcome package in the mail soon.

I was diagnosed almost a year ago and it still feels very recent.

For me it was like everything in my life was explained and at the same time it caused anxiety for the future and a constant anxiety of "is this manic Roman or normal Roman?"

The meds do help though and I've found a strong support team of doctors and loved ones is the best therapy.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

kltoomey

Your story sounds very much like mine, I lost my best friend 2 years ago we had just returned from holidays together. She passed away.

This was 2 years ago, I went into a manic episode and then crashed into depression. I got a dx of mood disorder, but I never followed it up. Then in October this year another manic episode and hospital. When I got discharged I didn't follow up and stopped medication. I crashed into the worse depression and finally accepted my diagnosis.

I am now on medication still waiting for my mood to return to baseline. I am in and out of the depression it can be a big struggle at times. Its very difficult accepting BP1 as its for life.

I hope all works out for you, I find this site brillant. Its great for information, others experience, advice and best of all to vent.

Annmaria

Such good news that IP worked.

I think that no matter whether the feelings come from mourning or from BP, the first thing is to be compassionate with yourself, and work with your therapist to help with your path of treatment for both. It sounds like you're doing just that.

Condolences on your loss.