[notthatsevere]

Hello so im 18 and i want to talk to you guys about myself.

so its super easy for me to hate/not care someone, or be irritated with someone. And i can be distant with peıple out of nowhere/ no reason. Just because i dont want to be close with them at that moment. And no reason behind it. Sometimes i can be very hurtful ( wordwise) , dont like people,i can be " just leave me alone" type, i can be very veryy pessimist, cant stand people( even my family) depressed. And sometimes ( actually often) im the opposite : Soo active, joyful, friendly, dont want to hurt or offend people. I mean is everyone like this? And i dont know if this is a problem because the " depressed me" isnt that severe. Sometimes it is but sometimes its not. Any ideas or any questions? Thank you

[gina_re]

None of us here are qualified to diagnose you. If you are truly concerned, I would contact a mental health professional, i.e. a psychiatrist or therapist for a proper evaluation. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Please take care.

[Icare dixit]

Do you get depressed out of nowhere or is it in reaction to something, a remark by someone, for example, even if you might not know exactly why it has such a profound effect?

Do you become distant with people because they don't agree with you or because they think you talk too much or somewhat incoherently or overconfidently or overbearingly? Or because they are being very nice to you?

Nice you decided to visit us and I hope you like it here.

[notthatsevere]

Its like i wake up and go to school and i look at my friends face and i say to myself " why would i be close to you ugh" or when someone starts to talk i say to myself " okay would you shut up please". Sometimes i get depressed out of nowhere sometimes because of stress i guess.
People seem to like me they say im so friendly and cute and active and stuff.

[notthatsevere]

Its like this : I woke up, go to school, look at my friends face and say to myself " why would i be close/nice to you? I dont want that" and sometimes i even dont want to have conversation with them. Sometimes i get depressed out of nowhere sometimes because of stress i guess.
People seem to like me. They say that im friendly, helpful, cute and joyful

I would talk to a doctor about your concerns. Most of this sounds like teenaged stuff but you obviously feel something is going on if you came here. Talk with a doctor to ease your mind. To make you feel better, nothing you've written screams bipolar at all. But I'm not a doctor and I doubt I'm getting a full history. Be well.

[Icare dixit]

Given your answers, I wouldn't suspect BP necessarily. I do recognise some of what you're saying (I don't experience it myself but I know of people that have such interpersonal difficulties, possibly similar to what you experience).

It might be depression caused by interpersonal problems which have to do with very high standards for yourself and others.

A therapist might help you to be more tolerant of behaviour that causes you to have such thoughts (and I expect, anxiety).

There's not really a diagnosis (arguably; there might be one) for such problems, but that wouldn't really matter.

Do you have family or relatives with BP or some other mental disorder or something that you expect may be like it? If it's like what I expect, that might contribute to the problems.

I think what you describe might be one of the few problems where antidepressants could really help you—together with psychotherapy to change your (maybe more hidden) attitudes.

It does sound like something that can be overcome. Maybe not easily, but recognising there might be a problem is a good first step.

One more question, maybe for now: do you consider yourself to be a perfectionist?

IfAs you are an adolescent it might indeed just be something completely normal, something many people go through at that age. But there's no shame in making sure by talking to your GP.

[ilikecats]

I feel like borderline personality disorder could be a possibility. I know relationship issues are a big deal with that. I'm just guessing though, I really don't know that much about it.

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[notthatsevere]

I think im kinda perfectionist? But kinda? I dont know i mean also i want things to get done in my way ?

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by ilikecats

I feel like borderline personality disorder could be a possibility. I know relationship issues are a big deal with that. I'm just guessing though, I really don't know that much about it.

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It's not just thoughts but really about expression (which can just be, possibly completely harmless, deception, for example, so not really seen as problematic by others). Actually it's more/both impulsive behaviour than/and thought. But emotion really takes the lead, not (primarily) the other way around.

But it could be. But I don't think it's likely. At least it's not obvious.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by notthatsevere

I think im kinda perfectionist? But kinda? I dont know i mean also i want things to get done in my way ?

Yes, that sounds to me like having rather high standards at least for others and maybe (and possibly unbeknownst to you clearly enough) for yourself. That would be rather normal for many of your age. But of course, if it affects your functioning or your mood too much, you may seek help.

[Prism Bunny]

I cannot diagnose you, but this sounds more like a personality disorder than a neurological one. You have black and white thinking towards others - rage to love. Patients with Bipolar Disorder never jump between episodes that quickly (even if diagnosed with Ultradian cycling), or does one's rage targets towards one person. As in: They do not have an immediate hatred for someone, and then adore them afterward in a short span of time. People have misconceptions about this disease, and that is one of them.

Also, not being rude, but you should never excuse your serious behavioral problems around others with a mental illness. I suggest you work with a psychologist so you can understand and develop more suitable reactions and interactions with your family and peers. There are moments when one cannot be held accountable, but for the most part, they can. At the times when they cannot; they need urgent care (hospitalization).

[Icare dixit]

It doesn't sound like serious behavioural problems.

Are you confused about your behaviour? As in, you don't know why you act rude or you deceive or rage or ignore your friends or act aggressively. Do you ever feel like you do thinks to make sure you're liked, but it's rather overcompensating and you can't really help yourself, but you fear rejection even if it's not really based on anything.

If it's really like that, maybe just partly but it really seems to be rather beyond your control, then it might be more serious, a "personality disorder", but even then therapy can help you to overcome your problems.

[Prism Bunny]

That was what I was thinking, Icare Dixit. That if it is going beyond than negative thought patterns outside of hormones (teenage years), then there might be something more serious since it seems to be out of theirs control. And we all have our basic personalities (A, B, C, D) and traits, such as being a perfectionist. A disorder is completely different.