[Jensitive22]

...for myself when my inner critic invalidates the diagnoses of mental illness by accusing me of being lazy, weak, a faker and attention seeker. It judges my acceptance of having a mental illness as a choice and as license to cop out of my life and shrug off society's expectation that I stand up and fight the good fight like every other responsible adult.

How does one fight against stigma when it is rooted deeply in your own head?

[Rjaye]

That's a toughie. We have such high expectations for ourselves, and then bam! We get sick, which throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing.

I try to look at myself like I see others in the same boat. There's also a statement made by my yoga teacher that stuck with me: the highest form of humility is having compassion for oneself. What we have really is an illness. Brain scans of people with bipolar look very different from people with more typical brain development, as do scans of people with depressive disorder and ASDs. It's an actual brain wiring issue, and definitely a chemical issue. The body/mind dichotomy is an arbitrary construct. It's all body, and our illness is as physical as cancer and emphysema, and needs treatment.

But it sucks. I'm trying to find ways to work with my illness so that I can achieve goals. I had to adapt my goals to my new situation, and it's difficult because I have to figure things out on my own (well, with the help of my therapist, too), but there's no easy path.

But understanding I am doing what I can with my illness is an ongoing process. I wake up thinking I am really going to get things done, and I get a quarter of the way through my list, and I can't do more because of mental exhaustion, and I really beat myself up. Then I have to remind myself that I am doing the best I can, and it sucks, but I really do have to take care of myself. The disappointment is still there, and I have to watch my critical self doesn't take over, because I am already suffering. Why add to it. Being critical of oneself also takes away energy taking care of oneself and making a life.

I don't know if that helps, but it's what I find works for me right now.