[JustJace2u]

I've lived on my own without a roommate or any family under the same roof for at least 10 years. Why all of a sudden am I scared and feeling alone? On the other hand, the thought of my brother moving here and us sharing a place together is really starting to get to me. I'm 5 years older than him and we lead completely different lives. Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, but can I really live under the same roof with him again at my age? The weird thing is, for the better part of 4-5 years I've longed to be closer to family, as I have none here in Chicago. Now I'm scared shitless at the thought because I don't want him to judge me.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by JustJace2u

I've lived on my own without a roommate or any family under the same roof for at least 10 years. Why all of a sudden am I scared and feeling alone? On the other hand, the thought of my brother moving here and us sharing a place together is really starting to get to me. I'm 5 years older than him and we lead completely different lives. Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, but can I really live under the same roof with him again at my age? The weird thing is, for the better part of 4-5 years I've longed to be closer to family, as I have none here in Chicago. Now I'm scared shitless at the thought because I don't want him to judge me.

I get it. It does get lonely sometimes when I walk into the house and it's just me, and my cat. But pets don't talk back. Sometimes I wouldn't mind if my sister moved in with me, then I remember how bad it ended up about ten years ago that I had to move out. I found a roommate on Craigslist! That's how desperate I was, I trusted random people on the internet to live with!
Maybe just having family nearby may be better instead of having them in your house. It might get overwhelming quick. My mom moved in with a few months for me last year for financial issues. By the end of the first month, I could not wait for her to leave! Now that she has her own place and is nearby, that is way better.
You know in your heart what the best solution is for you. Good luck however it works out. Take care.

This might go one of two ways. It will be great and you'll grow closer and more bonded with your brother. Or things might go badly. I recommend giving this a fair shot and trying not to let your anxiety over being judged cloud anything. Go into it with honest intentions of building stronger family bonds. I think that is a beautiful thing to accomplish in today's busy and disconnected realities. Families should stay strong and he could end up being a major support for you, and you for him. (((Hugs and luck)))

I treasure my privacy and wouldn't give it up for anything. I need my peace and quiet. I've only had three guests over the eleven years that i've lived here and i regretted them all. My home is my sanctuary!

[Anrea]

I believe in creating a home that works for you. Not a TV home. Dinner doesn't have to be shared, etc.

In my home my husband and I do not eat the same foods. I cook for me, he cooks for him. We hang out in separate places. We go to sleep when we want. We removed obligation from each other, stripped away society's ideas of how we are supposed to act and have created a castle. We both are extremely happy with each other, and enjoy spending every day visiting our best friend (each other). We use total respect in allowing individuality and we agree to disagree on anything that comes up.

People are too restrained by expectation put on them by society -family - church. With expectation comes disappointment.

If you and your brother give each other a lot of space, it may be that you both find you can be wonderful friends.

[JustJace2u]

Thanks for all the advice and input.

[JustJace2u]

And now I feel like the jerk of a sister because I wanna live closer to where I am now. I've lived here 10+ years and everything I know is here, doctors, work, school...etc. He just doesn't seem to understand.