[Prism Bunny]

Well, I have been back from a mental facility since Friday, but I did not want to post anything until after I spoke to my private psychiatrist. To spare some of the nitty-gritty details of why the reason behind being admitted, I will admit that what I had done was not the sanest thing in the world. Luckily, the medical physician informed everyone that all I mainly accomplished was several abrasions except for one moderate wound. I was in holding for nine hours, a cop showed up and handcuffed me from the front, the officer sped one-hundred miles per hour to deliver me to a local mental hospital at four a.m. Oh, and I wish to mention that my parents (divorced) were the ones who discovered me and rushed me to the hospital but left around twelve a.m., but man, they left after getting into a huge verbal fight.

While there, I noticed the staff there did not want to give me anything outside of what I had been before taken. I spent most the time watching television, playing with card and board games and doing pretty much non-helpful group therapies, such as listening to random songs for thirty minutes (something I can easily do at home). The facility discharged me after only three days. Though, I do have stories if that interests anyone.

Anyways, this morning, for twenty minutes straight, I detailed what I could with my psychiatrist. And surprisingly, he prescribed me something I thought he would never allow on the basis of our history together. He actually gave me Ativan. And then he prescribed me a higher dose of Lamictal and Gabapentin but lowered my Seroquel dosage. Lastly, he prescribed me some medication called Latuda. I am unsure what that medication is or what the side effects are, so if anyone knows, please tell me.

I feel SO relieved! My doctor understands the serious state that I am in now, so he requested that I schedule an appointment two weeks from now, and to call him up tomorrow. After of all the awful pain I endured, thank goodness there was a light at the end of that tunnel.

The only downside to all this good fortune is the fact I finally verbally stood up to my father for the first time in years, but that is another story that I will get into later.

Side Note: I am not the type to self-harm, so practically everyone has been shocked over the method I used to end my life. And the mental facility was unsure for an hour or two on whether if I were a violent person or not. Then they read the ER report, which stated that I had stayed calm and passive. I wish they had not thought of me as dangerous at all because I have never been that type of person.

[MusicLover82]

I'm so sorry you've been through such hell. ((HUGS)) But I'm glad your doc is taking seriously what you are experiencing and making some serious changes.

I take Latuda and love it. I have to take it right before bed, however, because the akathisia (sp?) gives me a really weird feeling (it's a side-effect where you feel really restless, like you need to move a lot, and also a little anxious). When I take it right before bed (an hour or two) I don't get the side-effects. Make sure you are taking Latuda with 350 calories at least. I know that is weird, but it won't work as well otherwise (look it up: the Latuda manufacturers say to take it with at least 350 calories). I hate eating a small meal so close to bed, but you do what you gotta do. Hopefully you can just take yours with dinner without side-effects. Latuda has helped me so much with my anxiety.

Best wishes! I hope these changes make you feel better than ever before!

[Prism Bunny]

Thank you for the advice and encouragement, Musiclover82! Yeah, I am reading up on the medication, and what I should/should not do while taking it. So now that I know I need to eat 350 calories means I need to plan out my meals out better now.

I am just grateful that I have hope again; even if I am taking baby steps once more.

I liked Latuda, but then it murdered my cholesterol, so make sure you routinely check your cholesterol and blood sugar, and maybe even your blood pressure.

As far as taking it goes, it's really easy to take Latufa with 350 cals. Just eat dinner, then take it afterwards.

If you don't eat enough calories with it, then you might get a stomach ache. Just giving you a fair warning.

Hope you feel better

[raspberrytorte]

I'm happy you're okay, prism.

Yeah. Psych wards are boring as hell!

I hope you start feeling better soon.

Big hugs.

do keep us updated on how things are going for you.

sorry about the rough time.. but hopefully things will improve

[Spaceyspace]

Very sorry you went through all of that. I am happy you made it through and I hope these med changes help.

[cincidak]

Hope the med changes work for you. Latuda if you haven't already discovered is another atypical antipsychotic, just like Seroquel is. It's supposed to be weight neutral which should help since Seroquel is not. It's a newer medication. I took it for a month, but it gave me migraines. I'm very sensitive to medications though. I take Saphris , and Geodon.

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[Yoda]

I am glad your private pdoc is adjusting your meds but why would the inpatient pdoc not do so? I thought that was the whole purpose of going inpatient.

[fishin fool]

Sorry for what you went through but glad you are feeling better.

[Prism Bunny]

Thank you, everybody, for the kind words and support!

Originally Posted by Yoda

I am glad your private pdoc is adjusting your meds but why would the inpatient pdoc not do so? I thought that was the whole purpose of going inpatient.

I have no idea. My family and friends have asked the same question, but all I know is that they did not change a thing and decided to release me only a few hours after the seventy-two-hour mark. They stated I was a serious case, but then they had several people in holding in different hospitals in the state, so everyone I knew in the place came and left so quickly, including one lady who was in ICU for two weeks, but only spent four days in the mental hospital.

[Gabyunbound]

If you don't mind my asking, do you know what triggered this?

I'm glad you're back, getting support, and safe and sound!

[Prism Bunny]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

If you don't mind my asking, do you know what triggered this?

I'm glad you're back, getting support, and safe and sound!

Over the last few months, I have felt the weight of financial struggle (picking and choosing what is most needed), family issues that were left unspoken but were persistent, and I could not stop the constant anxiety and panic attacks every hour. Inside my mind, I lost what little control I had as an adult and that no one cared, but once I spent time away from my folks, I realized it was simply in my mind. Though I did manage to resolve my inner turmoil about my father by having it out with him (our relationship has never been stable over the years), I know I need to call him tomorrow. He and I, at the end of it all, agreed we need to get myself back on even footing, and finally, become a father-daughter team.

I want to mention this:

I choked up a little from the emotional impact of my mother's words when she said, "Your room is so quiet. It feels strange; I miss the sound coming out of there. It doesn't feel right." during a phone call on the mental hospital's phone.

I thought about that the entire day and night. How awful if what I had done turned for the worst and it became a permanent outcome. I am so grateful that that was not the case.

(((((((((Prism Bunny)))))))))

[Crazy Hitch]

Glad to see you back prism but I'm sorry for what you went through

[Cavegirl]

Hello Prism Bunny. I am sending well wishes your way.

It is thoughts like these that keep my attempts at bay.:

Originally Posted by Prism Bunny

I want to mention this:

I choked up a little from the emotional impact of my mother's words when she said, "Your room is so quiet. It feels strange; I miss the sound coming out of there. It doesn't feel right." during a phone call on the mental hospital's phone.

I thought about that the entire day and night. How awful if what I had done turned for the worst and it became a permanent outcome. I am so grateful that that was not the case.

It sounds like you have been able to reflect on certain things resulting in somewhat positive outcomes.

Also, you mentioned baby steps. Baby steps are still steps. Sometimes that's all we can do...and that is ok.

[Prism Bunny]

Everything since my time spent there has been postitive. Even my new medication has been working quite well, despite some drowsiness. I am doing what was told, and I am eating 350 calories before taking Latuda. And you are right; baby steps are still steps. I just sometimes push for more because that is just part of my personality.

For now, I will be in constant contact with my Psychiatrist, and he scheduled a follow-up appointment in two weeks. So, I am taking it easy for now, though, now I am really working on my disability case.

Thank guys, you all rock when it comes to being such a wonderful community!