[annmaria]

I have my diagnosis for 6 months and I still find it difficult to accept it at times. Wondering how long did it take you or how long can it take to fully accept the diagnosis. Sometimes I am ok with it other times I hate it and am really angry, it eats me up.

Was there a defining situation\thing that allow you to come to terms with the diagnosis.

While I am slowly getting out of depression episode thank god, I am still finding it difficult to get motivated. Any tips appreciated.

Thanks

Annmaria

I was diagnosed with mental illness more than 20 years ago. Sometimes I accept I have it, other times I think everyone but me are crazy. I "think" I've finally accepted it for good a few months ago. My last manic episode was a doozy and it's hard denying things after that. But even then, I keep thinking I have nervous breakdowns caused from living a stressful life and not bipolar. I'm reading a book about bipolar and it matches my experiences so closely, it's just not worth denying anymore.

[cincidak]

The sooner you accept it the better. It means you can truly commit to a treatment plan. There is bsseline you, manic you, and depressive you. Baseline you is truly you. The others sre extremes. What helped me is I read books about the disorder, and about what kind of medicstion are used to treat it
Then i researched those medications. Same thing with the different kinds of therapy

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[Gabyunbound]

I accepted the dx pretty much upon receiving it because (as some others have said) looking back so much made sense. What I do have a hard time accepting are the meds to treat it.

[JustJace2u]

I haven't fully accepted it, but it's only been about 6 weeks or so.

[Daonnachd]

Ten years passed between my diagnosis and my reading of Kay Redfield-Jamison's book An Unquiet Mind. That did it for me. I saw so much of myself in that I couldn't deny it any longer.

[cincidak]

Originally Posted by vertigo

Ten years passed between my diagnosis and my reading of Kay Redfield-Jamison's book An Unquiet Mind. That did it for me. I saw so much of myself in that I couldn't deny it any longer.

Great book. It was really helpful to.me as well

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I have that book and need to read it. It's the most recommended so I don't know why I haven't already.

[Icare dixit]

The probabilities: you have been diagnosed with it and you tend to doubt it and maybe denied it but you rediscover you have it, you strongly believe it, while doing so. The probability of that happening by chance is low. Especially when you have denied it (a few times). It would be more likely if the diagnosis were based on your denial and belief, but still the change in perception of yourself is specific enough: likely BP.

If you were strongly advised to go to a psychiatrist or needed hospitalisation, the chances of a mistake are even lower.

The longer you have been observed, the smaller that change.

It's very good to actively doubt it, question it, see how you might fool yourself, because it will make it more likely you have it when you believe it.

But don't do it obsessively. It's not worth it (but it is worth another diagnosis ).

[OctobersBlackRose]

It's been 4yrs since my initial diagnosis after a neuro-psych exam, and since having it confirmed back in January of this year, and I still question my diagnosis. I think "is it the right diagnosis?". So I go I'm amd out of denial.

[Nammu]

It's been more than 20 years for me too and I didn't really accept it till a few years ago after being on PC and finding this forum. Like cincidak said its best to accept it a sap, it does help you work better with Pdocs and others to find a Tx that works for you.

[~Christina]

I wasn't diagnosed until age 43 .. So when I heard the words " You have bipolar"

I thought about my life and actions and it took about 37 seconds to agree.. Yes I had been Bipolar basically all my life. We traced back my first signs of BP to age 6

Personally I had no problem accepting it.. It was and is just a part of me.

[bipolarbrother]

it gets easier and easier everyday to accept you have bipolar.

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Hi annmaria,

It took me a few years total, but in three stages.

(1) When my pdoc diagnosed me, he referred me to a therapist that did a good job of helping me accept the diagnosis. The label, the illness itself, how to learn coping skills to manage it, how it impacts your relationships, etc. Bipolar 101, in a sense, but a big learning curve as newly diagnosed and going through mood episodes and med changes all at the same time. I left that therapist after two years and felt like I had fully accepted my diagnosis. Therapy then was very helpful and I'm grateful my pdoc encouraged me to go into therapy. I wasn't thrilled about having bipolar disorder, but I accepted it and learned coping skills. I thought that was it.

(2) I became disabled in 2009. I qualified for SSDI and I was clearly disabled; I still am. I have always been grateful for SSDI. However, I had negative feelings surface up about having bipolar disorder. I wasn't in denial but I was upset that my career was over. I worked hard in school and in work. I was upset by the limitations due to bipolar disorder. I needed to accept the limitations that developed from having bipolar.

Upon becoming disabled, I thought about how I didn't want this darn disease and I resented that it took my career away from me. After awhile, I again accepted my diagnosis plus the reality of how it limited me as to my career. I got over it and remain grateful for my SSDI benefits.

(3) I thought I had fully accepted it until I got divorced a few years later. I had become a single mom and one of limited financial means post-divorce. I again found myself upset that I had this illness. It limited me to go out and make the money for my daughter and me. I wanted to maintain a semblance of the standard of living I had pre-divorce. That is something I cannot do because I'm disabled from bipolar disorder. I didn't like it.

I've always been an independent person and accomplished things I set my mind to. I'm not materialistic but my ex and I made a lot of money in our respective careers. Pooled together, we had substantial financial assets. I was happy to be divorced, but I resented the fact I couldn't (can't) make good money like I did before bipolar disorder entered my life. Bipolar disorder took away my financial independence and that matters more when you're a one income family consisting of a modest SSDI monthly income. Some people don't become disabled but it's a reality for me.

I still struggle with the drastic lifestyle financial changes as a disabled single mother. And being powerless to change that due to my illness. That said, I once again have come to accept my diagnosis. I hadn't anticipated going through he process of acceptance three times. I thought I was finished with the acceptance process when I finished my original therapy.

I hope there won't be another life change that brings this up for the fourth time. However, if it happens I know the drill. I currently accept the diagnosis and the lifestyle limitations but three times was plenty, lol.

Tip: Find a therapist knowledgeable with bipolar to help you accept your new diagnosis. I recommend weekly sessions with your therapist. You will get support without judgement, it's confidential so you can cry your eyes out during a session and process what is upsetting you. Also, despite the fact that bipolar disorder is a severe, chronic illness - your therapist will instill in you that you are NOT your illness. You're annmaria. You do have bipolar disorder but that is only one facet of annmaria. You are more than "just bipolar."

Also, if there is a local bipolar support in your area, go check it out. My therapist encouraged me and it was a great experience. People that get it IRL. I made some friends and eventually volunteered as a group meeting facilitator twice a month. We met weekly. Twice a month I'd be giving support by leading the meetings. The other two weeks I attended as a regular member to receive support.

Originally Posted by vertigo

Ten years passed between my diagnosis and my reading of Kay Redfield-Jamison's book An Unquiet Mind. That did it for me. I saw so much of myself in that I couldn't deny it any longer.

Awesome book!!

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Awesome book!!

I'm currently reading her book TOUCHED WITH FIRE.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by JustJace2u

I'm currently reading her book TOUCHED WITH FIRE.

As an artist, I was interested in the impact on creativity (especially after ECT) but found found that book ... tougher to read. I look forward to your summary.

[st0psign]

I'm 26 and wax dxed at 14, I'm still coming to terms with it. accepting limitations it imposes on my life and such.

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by vertigo

As an artist, I was interested in the impact on creativity (especially after ECT) but found found that book ... tougher to read. I look forward to your summary.

I have a learning disability so it might take me a while to get through it, but I sure as hell am gonna try.

[pirilin]

I haven't accepted it yet. I don't identify with many of the experiences exposed in this forum.
I'm screwed in some way, according to society, but I don't think is BP.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I was diagnosed two years ago (right around my 38th birthday). I have worked through most of the Bipolar Workbook. The version I read is based on the DSM-IV TR but it is still a good book. I could identify with each of the descriptions of the symptoms listed in one of the first chapters. I completed the life mapping activity and mapped the fluctuations in mood over the span of my life, dating back to childhood. My doctor gave me a chart for my moods. I do so and the data shows that I have mood fluctuations and that I respond to medications that treat the disorder. With all of that, I still don't accept it. I just don't want to have the label of being mentally ill. I rebel and I cause problems for myself. I read to find ways to dispute the diagnosis. I look take quizzes to see how I score on a particular day. I feel cured when I am medicated properly and I can answer the questions according to my medicated self. My pdoc told me that we need to work on me overcoming my ideas of what mental illness is about. I agree -- if I truly have this thing called BP, I need to some work.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by annmaria

I have my diagnosis for 6 months and I still find it difficult to accept it at times. Wondering how long did it take you or how long can it take to fully accept the diagnosis. Sometimes I am ok with it other times I hate it and am really angry, it eats me up.

Was there a defining situation\thing that allow you to come to terms with the diagnosis.

While I am slowly getting out of depression episode thank god, I am still finding it difficult to get motivated. Any tips appreciated.

Thanks

Annmaria

I was kind of "loosely" diagnosed in my teens by my school, but really I was formally diagnosed when I went to a psychiatrist in my early twenties. That is when I first received appropriate treatment. It's been about ten years now, I think. I was pretty convinced I had Bipolar prior to being diagnosed. However, when the psychiatrist confirmed my diagnosis, it did help with acceptance since it made me feel less alone knowing it is treatable, although most of us must go through the symptoms that sort of "leak through" the medications...some of us more than others. Since I'm not symptom-free by any means, there are days I struggle with acceptance still. However, you gain more insight as time goes on and you learn more about your diagnosis. Reading helps too, and I've also read An Unquiet Mind. The more you learn about your diagnosis, work on getting the meds right, and figure out which coping skills help, the greater the chance that acceptance will get easier. *hugs*

I was tentatively diagnosed BP when I was 16 and put on Depakote (stopped after a week or so). I am now 30 and have been continually, tentatively diagnosed by who knows how many doctors. I still don't fully accept it. And I don't think it's because I'm really ill but in denial. I think it's because I don't have a really clear-cut case - I've never had full-blown mania, no hospitalizations or suicide attempts, no totally destructive episodes etc. - and I'm highly functional (just finished my phd, am in a stable relationship, etc.). I can see why I would be diagnosed BP (2), but when I compare myself to others who have it I just feel like I/my doctors are overreacting. Then again, I know that something isn't right...I know it's not 'normal' to have random episodes of suicidal depression and constant ups and downs...