crying on the bathroom floor at 1 AM just feeling totally hopeless. tried to get in bed and go to sleep but just felt too overwhelmed. It felt like a panic attack without the fear (if that makes sense) - like a totally desperate anguish, rather than just empty nothingness. I told my husband I was feeling really bad. He started asking me what's wrong, what am I thinking about, etc. and suddenly I became almost enraged. I snapped at him and then really started to freak out. I felt like angry energy was surging through me, my knees had butterflies, I felt like I needed to rip my clothes off and run around the street. I felt completely out of control. I was just sobbing and pacing around until the benzo I took kicked in.

My husband thinks I had a panic attack but I know what those are, I have them often, and this was different. I wasn't afraid, I didn't think I was dying, I just needed to escape myself.

[JustJace2u]

I have had that happen to me in the past and it's not pretty, especially when you live alone and are scared of what might happen. *hugs*

That sounds terrible! I'm so sorry you went through that. It's understandable that you would be scared after feeling so much. I hope you feel better soon. (((Hugs)))

[Wild Coyote]

Talking/writing/sharing about it may help to dissipate the fear.

Glad your husband was there for you.


WC