I'm afraid to have others look at me

One of my issues is that. Brief rundown gained a lot of weight during my depression. Now gym going out pool I'm afraid to have others look at me. I don't own much clothes that fit me. And I'm motivated to go to the gym except I get scared either by what others think by looking at me or what not. My t has a mantra so what who the f are they to judge me but for some reason I can't get past that.

I can relate. I see you have social anxiety...I do too. I feel this might be part of it. My social anxiety will do whatever it can to keep me in the house and away from people. Logically I know that nobody cares and I also know that anyone who does care is not worth my time.....but emotionally it's hard to get past sometimes.

Is this a constant problem for you? For me, it goes through phases and has lessened a bit with age. I was worse about it when I was younger.

I'm sorry you deal with this also...it's very difficult. (((Hugs)))

Can you exersize and diet at home for a little?

I recently used Craigslist to get free X-large T-shirts for exercising. Somebody lost weight and passed them down to me. I like to think that I, too, would lose weight while exercising in them .

My point is - you can get free clothes that fit you and you won't be so self-conscious.

Why go to a gym? Start by doing some simple routines at home. Maybe some hand weights, a good session of stretching. Put on some music that you love and dance.
Nobody will judge you but yourself, and you deserve better than that

I say keep going to the gym, but perhaps stay out of the pool until you feel more comfortable with yourself. Don't let your fears control your life, or they will get worse. Wear oversize clothing as Sad Mermaid recommends. Notice that there are plenty of other out-of-shape people at the gym. That's why you go. Don't give up and best of luck. Just do it!

I really relate to what you're going through. It's hard. It was really bad when I was at my highest weight on Zyprexa. I've lost almost 30lbs and that has helped but I still have a ways to go. I can't do much bc of my back. But soon I'm going to be driving and my family said they would pay for a membership for me to go to the YMCA. I will be using their pool to walk in. I'm just gonna focus on getting my exercise in. Not even focus on the ppl around me. I think the APs are helping too. I don't feel quite as self conscious. Can you try really hard just to repeat over and over again, I'm here for me. I'm here for me. I'm here for me. Idk, I had to do some cbt exercises to get me out of the house to even get groceries I was so worried what ppl thought. Maybe Try some cbt exercises....

Cbt? Is that a group thing how do I find out more about it?

Oh you can just look it up online. It's cognitive behavioral therapy. You can learn about it online and find worksheets online too.

CBT can be done individually or in a group.
Same with DBT.

CBT: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
DBT: Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Type "CBT free" and/or "DBT free" into a search engine for free access to instruction.

For example: DBT Self Help is a peer-run site with free instruction.


WC

I can relate to the feeling. I recovered from anorexia earlier this year after losing 40 lbs, and I'm now at what they call a "normal" weight, but my mind is still very distorted about it. I have anxiety about wearing anything revealing, and I will absolutely not go to a gym or pool. It's summer here, but I still wear sweaters and scarves over loose dresses. I don't even like to show my arms. I'm especially conscious of my belly, which is bloated all the time because my digestive system is still messed up from my eating disorder. Feeling self-conscious about your body is really difficult and totally screws with your mind.

The truth is that we are all beautiful no matter what our bodies look like, but I know it's hard to combat that feeling of scrutiny and the expectation that you will be judged. Maybe just start with walks around the neighborhood or paths near your home, if you have any. I find that much more comfortable than a gym.

Just know that you're a brave, awesome badass for fighting your fear.

Get some NICE, trendy clothes that fit you. You probably don't look bad at all, once you have the right size clothes. Take it from me, someone who at one point was up 100 lbs from when I first started these meds (I have since lost 60 lbs). I still looked pretty, and my husband has always been attracted to me.

I'm still heavy now, but I recently got some cute workout clothes that make me feel prettier at the gym. That boosts my confidence and motivates me to go. Also, I have a workout buddy, so gym time is a lot of fun.

I applaud you for swimming and going to a gym. I can't even imagine having such wherewithall.

Well don't know if it was the Wellbutrin but went to work got done at noon ran a few errands then went into the pool for two hours marinated this pork shoulder now I feel pooped out lol.

Well done BoogieSmash! You rock! Have you come across our dieting [lifestyle change] thread? It's called 'diet anyone?' and several of us are posting our progress daily. I find it's a great support. I don't think i have seen you on it -- forgive me if i am mistaken.

Nope I haven't but I'll check it out thanks.

----be sure to watch my big fat fabulous life tlc weds I think. I gained weight from depression, no job and moving so no friends. This girl started a movement about no body shaming. It will cheer u up for sure. She has polycystic ovarian disease and that alone causes weight gain. I so love water aerobics. No one can see your body and no sweating!!! It sounds dorky but it's so relaxing.

And now at the gym

I'm really sorry you feel this way. I don't really have any advice, but wanted to share an anecdote that helps me when I feel like hiding in my closet: I have some mild form of that OCD face-picking thing that flares up when I'm stressed, resulting in what I like to call 'pizza face.' So then I'm stuck with this pimple face and I don't want to be seen in public because I feel so gross and embarrassed (thankfully I don't have scars, but I seriously look like a meth-head sometimes). Anyways, one time when I refused to go out a boyfriend of mine responded with something like "who cares if you have pimples? PIMPLES ARE PUNK ROCK. if people don't like your pimples, they can just **** right off!"

you and your body = punk rock