Anyone else miss the psych ward?

Does anyone else sometimes wish to go back to the psych ward? I even feel sad sometimes at the idea of being so stable that I will never go back.


Obviously I only think that during times when I'm symptomatic, since that isn't thinking straight. When my chemicals aren't messing up my brain and life is good, and I would love to have the rest of my life be good. But when I'm feeling lower and unstable, when my moods are changing rapidly, the yearning for the psych ward comes back. Does anybody else feel like this?


I felt a lot of shame about feeling like this, so it took me a long time to tell my therapist about it, but talking to him definitely helped.

He said:

It's okay to miss or wish to be back in the psych ward. It wouldn't be okay if I were creating crises or situations in order to get back there (which I definitely don't do).

He also said, "What is it you are yearning for? What is the need you are trying to get met?"

I figured out that it is usually one of two things.

First, it is the imposed safety. When I feel like my emotions are so completely out of control that the huge majority of my energy is dedicated to just trying to stay alive, then I yearn again for the safety of being able to go to the psych ward and know that even if I really do cross the line to insanity, I will still be safe.

Second, when this burden feels too heavy to bear, I just want relief from this burden of managing this huge bipolar that takes over my life. In the psych ward, someone else has the responsibility and is in charge of treatment, so I yearn for that relief.

I've never been to the psych ward, but in some ways I can relate because I long for the feeling of being safe and at times feel the need for relief when life is just too much to handle.

I can relate and felt this way on Sunday and Monday, in fact. I just wasn't managing well and it is on some level a huge relief to be in the psych ward. I think your reasons are good ones and they make sense to me.

I miss it so much, even though the care was bad. So safe. You don't have to make decisions or worry about much for a little bit. You get to connect with other people who get it. I've been in a bad episode lately and should go back, but I feel so bad leaving my gf home alone without me, so I try hard to stay home, even though the ward would probably be a more pragmatic option.

YES. when I am unstable I long for the psych ward, for the reasons you stated. I am safe there. And more importantly, I am free. I know that sounds paradoxical, freedom from being locked up, but I am free to be ME. I don't have to put on a fake face. If I feel like crying, I cry. If I feel like screaming, I scream. No one expects anything of me there and I can finally be who I feel like being.

When I was a teenager I craved it so much that I DID create crises so I could go back. I had no sense of self when I was young, and felt my only identity was mental illness. And the only place I belonged was the psych ward. I went seven times in one year. It was a real problem. It's pretty embarrassing honestly.

Thankfully I was able to recover from my borderline tendencies and find a more stable sense of self. But I do miss it when I am very low. But I am a single mom now with a young son and it's just not feasible to be away from home for a week or more. So I try everything in my power to stay out now. Proud to say I've been out for over a year.

Yes, I've missed it. It's so safe there but it's also my goal to not go back, I've been 4 times in the last year.

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I felt this way and posted this same question a while back.
I don't know if I created a situation where I could go back again on purpose or what, maybe I was just bored. But, I went back and then left and went to another one.
This time I really hated most of it.
I've had some real traumatizing experiences there, I don't know why I would ever miss it.

I miss the people I have met. The friends I made that I will never see again. It's sad. there's some people I really wish I could talk to again.

But, being in there for mania vs depression is totally different experience.

Everything I worked for, to improve it's like taking 6 steps forward than moving 10 steps back. It's like a constant cycle.

the psych unit should be last resort.
And I would suggest never going there just for fun.

Three states ago I felt that way about the hospital but in this state the hospital isn't a safe place. But there have been times in the last few yrs where I wished I had a place like those past hospitals that treated us like patients and not inmates. During my two yr depression I probably would have sought treatment if the hospitals were safer here.

I hate the hell out of the psych ward, but right now I miss the fact that it kept me safe. Not particularly safe at the moment.

I do miss being safe and being able to express myself in a controlled environment. I also miss having some structure. I don't miss having to share a room with a stranger, though. It makes it hard to sleep, and I need sleep.

I think it's the safety thing that I like too, that and the fact that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. That everyone is in the same boat. I sometimes find it hard to make friends.... but back in the ward i made friends without even trying...

Gosh no, the ward was the least safe place I could experience. Especially the times they would bring in the burly police officers to hold me down to give me injections. Very unplesant memories

Miss the psych ward? Not really. But there are times when I've felt like it's probably a good idea.

I miss it sometimes, yes. I miss not having to decide what I'm eating, having never ending amounts of PRNs for whatever's troubling me (sleep meds, zyprexa for racing thoughts/hallucinations, ativan for anxiety/aggitation), the safety, the company, and the staff acts like they care about me... at least more than the people in my daily life do.

Miss being in the psychiatric ward of a hospital? Of course not!

Tucson

My personal thoughts on going back to the hospital...I had a good experience there, I know I was safe there (they had to make me leave, as I met the criteria to do so, but I was reluctant to go back to the life that was exacerbating my illness) and I am glad to know if I HAD to go back, that it is there for me. I"m just happy that I have been able to manage to be stable for quite a long time.

I completely understand imposed safety and simply being sheltered away from responsibilities of life.

In a way, that is what being on disability is like to me. Not being in the hospital but radically having my life revised to keep on. Complete removal of life aspects that I am unable to effectively manage at all because of MI.

No one wants this path but yes, I understand why you find relief in those aspects.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense. Please disregard if I am not. I'm working on it.

My goal is to not return, either. I'm not new to this illness, I have a support person in my life, I'm under treatment and I'm disabled so work stressors and such no longer exist.

My goal is to use the tools I have accumulated over the years and stay on the outside. However, if my treatment team or support person thought I needed to go, I would.

I don't think people should feel ashamed about going. There were many times I should have gone but didn't because I was ashamed. That's not the way to go.

I miss them.

The upscale one for rich heroin addicts had great nurses.

And the medium security one in the run down building that was in the news for bad treatment of patients was nice too, because the people were cool

I've been in and out. Only things I like is the fact that there is 3 meals a day, no stress of the outside world, and I can meet with others who suffer like I do.

Reality is that if I kept going, I'd lose sight of the help I need and become complacent. Some would call it "Institutionalized".

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Do I miss IP? No, but there's something about being safe from myself and being with other mentally ill people that is very reassuring. I didn't have to make decisions or worry about my life on the outside. I hope I can get through the rest of my life without going back, but I accept the fact that it may be necessary and I'm glad the hospital is there if I should ever feel suicidal (or out of control manic) again.

I was extremely paranoid and being in the hospital, with all of those people constantly around made my delusions and paranoia about a million times worse. I accept that I may have to go back in the future, but I do not miss it or look forward to it. I felt very unsafe while in the hospital and I was threatened and tormented by patients at 2 different facilities. I guess I'm unlucky.

I miss it... It's like a safe place for me. I don't know. I mean it's a Hospitol (which I hate hospitals) but it's a safe and comforting place.

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Christopher1990 what was the name of your similar thread you posted recently?

Yes I miss it. I often wish I can go back. Completely living in a bubble, getting therapy everyday, seeing my psychiatrist everyday, not having to cook or clean. Basically a relief of all your stressors. But it is not reality and it is there to give you the skills to cope better with your real life and it worked for me. The next best thing would probably be to win a 5 star holiday