[meekayla]

I am pretty frustrated at the moment because my mum found out about my bipolar just a few days ago and she doesn't understand it at all. She found out by seeing my old self harm scars and then I tried to tell her it all, but having never suffered from mental illness she cannot understand what depression feels like, so now she's just really worried but that translates into anger at me. She keeps asking why I didn't tell her everything and that she can help me. She's scared I'm suddenly going to become suicidal, because she doesn't understand that self harm isn't a suicide attempt and that many many people have a mental illness without dying from it. She's mad at me for having harmed myself and also for not discussing things like my depression with her, because she just doesn't understand that this is an actual illness and not just me being silly, and that no matter what she does she just can't save me. I get mad at her for being mad at me and making this about herself in a way, but I realise she just doesn't get this whole thing.
Have any of you been successful in making your parents/loved ones without mental illness understand you? I don't know how to talk to her anymore and it's making me feel so much worse than I already am.
I'd be grateful for any tips

[Victoria'smom]

I had my T explain my ED to my husband. I couldn't every time I tried it became a fight. Can she go to a T with you for a session? I've tried explaining SH/SI but he just feels sad for me. Wants me safe. Explaining what each one was for helped him answer the why I do it. literally saying "this one was when x happend and I was feeling x way."

My parents ignore my scares / fresh marks they just shy away from me when they see it. My parents know I take meds and see a therapist and I have bipolar. I've blurted all about it when manic. Mostly they all just agree to let the professionals handle it. That it's not their job to deal with my BP. Their job is to love and care about me in any condition I'm in. Even my Husband that has BP doesn't understand SI. Just a "mom, I love you and I'm dealing with it in therapy and pdoc. You wont lose me" and leave it at that maybe the best bet.

[artsya3]

I thought self harm was a more borderline personality thing, supposably I have a touch of that not to the full extreem and I"m bipolar 1 mixed emotions , plus some more probably... It took me a long while to come to terms with myself having biopolar though I have it to a T. My Mother passed away and Father so, I'm sure they'll be supportive as well as they can be. Your Mum is probably frightened and scared for you and just always wants the best for you and the best isn';t defilling yourself so she is concerened. If you want to educate her perhaps buy her a good book on it., one that you have read and like the way they explain it. ?? Just a thought. Good Luck on communication with your MUM!!

Originally Posted by meekayla

I am pretty frustrated at the moment because my mum found out about my bipolar just a few days ago and she doesn't understand it at all. She found out by seeing my old self harm scars and then I tried to tell her it all, but having never suffered from mental illness she cannot understand what depression feels like, so now she's just really worried but that translates into anger at me. She keeps asking why I didn't tell her everything and that she can help me. She's scared I'm suddenly going to become suicidal, because she doesn't understand that self harm isn't a suicide attempt and that many many people have a mental illness without dying from it. She's mad at me for having harmed myself and also for not discussing things like my depression with her, because she just doesn't understand that this is an actual illness and not just me being silly, and that no matter what she does she just can't save me. I get mad at her for being mad at me and making this about herself in a way, but I realise she just doesn't get this whole thing.
Have any of you been successful in making your parents/loved ones without mental illness understand you? I don't know how to talk to her anymore and it's making me feel so much worse than I already am.
I'd be grateful for any tips

It's a good sign your mom wants to help. In my case, my mom didn't want to understand, she wanted her daughter-the-highly-functioning-lawyer. She thought I shouldn't take Lithium despite my pdoc wanting me to. Same for IP...don't go even though your pdoc says you need IP or at least IOP.

Dad is dead so that's moot.

Stepdad educated himself on bipolar disorder but not my other MI. He has empathy and has visited me when I was IP. He doesn't think I'm a "loser" because I'm disabled.

I remember my mom being horrified, literally, when I told her my pdoc and therapist wanted me to quit working. Quit the lawyer job as long as I could financially swing it. I was so torn up over not pleasing my mom.

I told my therapist "My mom will not like me quitting my job. She'll hate it."

My therapist quietly and calmly said, "You're probably right. She won't be happy about it."

I had a moment of radical acceptance. That some people will never understand our MI. I hope your mom gains understanding. NAMI offers (or used to offer...Check their website) a six week course for families of those with a MI. It's free. I've no direct experience but it sounds like a good resource. Take care.