[MBM17]

I'm curious as to what others' experiences have been.

My current therapist hasn't had to be strict because I'M super careful. My first therapist told me I was in love with him (I wasn't), and it created all kinds of issues with my trust in therapy relationships. Because of past experiences, I'm now hypersensitive about boundaries. I don't email or call my therapist. I don't ask about his family. I don't say hi if I pass him in the parking lot because it's outside my paid time. I don't request or initiate physical contact.

(The same cause for my hypervigilance about boundaries causes other issues like not feeling safe in that relationship, but that's a different subject.)

My experience has been hypervigilance, so I'm curious what others have experienced.

[MusicLover82]

I've always seen a psychologist, so she has always been very detached and professional. No email given or personal numbers. I called her Dr. ___ and only spoke with her during appointment times.

I'm starting to see a new therapist, so I'll be interested in seeing what her policies are. I think it's better to keep professional distance. Someone like me can get needy when my anxiety and OCD is high. :-/

[HALLIEBETH87]

Hmmm we have boundaries but not super strict because I dont over step them.

I do have her cell number and can text sometimes and she
Might answer but that's RARE.

We hug after every session.

Yeah, my therapist is very strict about boundaries, but he also just graduated with his PhD and doesn't have much experience. So, he's probably worried about crossing boundaries and getting "caught".

I thought it was interesting how he mocked patients with schizophrenia, though. I found that unprofessional... and now that I think of it, it's odd that he even has boundaries considering he did that.

Oh well. I've been searching for a new therapist, one who is more respectful of patients with mental illness.

[~Christina]

I remember when I first met my T he had kinda the laundry short list of how he offers services and what is acceptable and what isn't.. Alll of it seemed perfectly fine. He was okay with one call between sessions if I really needed to. He would not do email at all ( He's 68 and thinks that too many things can be assumed incorrectly in a email, he said he would rather set himself on fire before he learns to text LOL )

That was 5 years ago .. He often gives me grief at times for not calling him between sessions when he thinks I certainly needed to. I don't like to "bother" him.. Yeah that's all on me , I just say .. Okay I'm a mess right now but I see _________ in 7 days or 2 days or whatever. over the years it has often times taught me how to self soothe and learn to get through some rough stuff on my own based off what he has helped me learn, so work in progress.

I have his personal cell and home phone number. I think over the last 5 years I have called his cell during office hours a handful of times and I have never called his home and cant for the life of me think of any reason I would ever need to call him at home.

I think T's have a right to have specific boundaries. Yes they are helping people on very deep levels and sometimes people take help from someone like a T to something that it isn't.

It often takes a few tries to find a t that is a good fit for a person, Not everyone is going to " click"

[Unrigged64072835]

My T is strict. No texts, emails, or phone calls outside of session. If I'm crisis I call one of the crisis lines. He's only mentioned his personal life a couple of times. The majority of the time he's focused on me and my feelings.

Mine was ridiculously strict, in retrospect. Ironically, he had reverse transference and didn't know how to handle it and he freaked out. What a mess that was. It broke my trust with therapy. Maybe permanently.

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[xRavenx]

Luckily, my therapist seems to have a perfect balance between not being too strict about boundaries, nor is she too loose. I have her cell phone number, but I don't abuse that privilege. I only text if I need to change or set up a new appointment or to let her know that I'd like to come in at whatever the next available opening is, if I am really going through an especially hard time. She is very accomodating, and I like how she draws from her own personal life experiences from time to time when she feels they will help, but she still makes the session focused on helping you and not all about her.

I want to respect that she has a life too, and also, there are a lot of potential safety issues associated with being a therapist since there are people out there who do sometimes act out in violence or retaliation that they deal with, and therapists are vulnerable.

Therapists have to have strong boundaries. I am a LMSW and one of the first things you learn is how to maintain those boundaries. Not just for liability reasons but to maintain a professional, unbiased approach. And last but not least, if you don't maintain boundaries you wind up 'taking your work home with you' and it's too hard to lead a healthy and satisfying non work life. That's one of the reasons people get burnt out and quit (even when they set boundaries). People forget that therapists, pdocs, social workers are all human too and it can be really emotionally draining.
The therapy is there for you, not the therapist, so the less they talk about themselves the better.