I have an honest but likely touchy question

That's not really a touchy question. If you'd like, I'll ask some touchy questions.

Self-medication is an integral part of the bipolar experience. If you haven't tried self-medication, do so immediately. It's the law.

DISCLAIMER: Please never do anything I suggest. It is not the law.

I stayed away from drugs and alcohol through high school and college into my thirties, when, in a thinly-veiled act of sabotage, my musician younger brother introduced me to weed. Twelve years and approximately 80,000 metric bong hits later, my younger brother is a successful music attorney and I'm a disabled state-licensed cannabis patient that huffs enough vapor in a day to incapacitate an entire rugby team. Drinking to any excess makes me throw up, but I like Boddington's and Hoegaarden.

I currently drink and smoke weed. Legal state. I try to do both minimally, because they can have an effect when manic.

I don't like being drunk -- it makes me feel like I've lost control over myself, and losing control usually sends my anxiety spiraling. That said, I do like drinking a little bit (like two or three glasses of wine) because it takes the edge off, makes me feel warm inside which is nice when I'm depressed and numb.
I'm only 19 and I live in the US so it's really hard for me to get alcohol regularly. I worry that one day when I am of age I might start turning to it more to deal with my depression. Whenever I have a bad day my immediate thought is "I need a drink." Of course usually I can't get one but I feel like a "pre-alcoholic" if that even is a thing.

I can understand your feelings. At your age I was living in a fraternity, so it was easy for me to become a full-blown alcoholic....and I did. Keep an eye on it, and be very aware that a lot of times mood disorders and alcohol are not a good mix.

I'm a Medical Marijuana user and have my card. I smoke it to help treat my anxiety, depression and insomnia. I will also admit to smoking weed recreationally. I tried it in High School and then again in College and then again when I was married and always hated it! A guy who I was dating when I turned 40 re-introduced me to it and I've been a fan ever since and smoke most nights. My state is voting on recreational marijuana this November, fingers and toes crossed!

ETA: I really don't drink much at all....don't like wasting my calories on alcohol, don't like feeling out of control and the thought of possibly throwing up from over-indulging keeps me sober!

I used to use stimulants (mostly diet pills), to try getting out of depressive mode back to hypo or manic mode. I also used them while in any mode really. I pretty much quit trying to trigger manic episodes when they started becoming mixed happy/terrified experiences. I also used to drink heavily sometimes when I got too revved up, and running around on the ceiling was easy to do. I don't use stimulants any more besides coffee, and energy drinks. I don't drink alcohol anymore, but I really, really want to really bad.

I used to binge drink. When I would be hypo I would binge. Wouldn't drink for months then would go out and drink a lot. I learned to drink moderately in my 30s. But now, with my meds I get nauseous every time I try to drink so no drinking for me.

I don't think I was ever an alcoholic, just an alcohol abuser.

Oh hell to the yes! I'm in recovery from alcohol. I'm a binger and its during manic episodes. It's ugly and I'v had bad consequences! I've been sober now for 16 months. It's actually what helped get my DX. I had always been diagnosed depressive/anxiety/OCD. After my last binge and manic episode, my DH went with me to my pdoc appointment and described what he and my son see before these episodes and immediately my pdoc got out her diagnoses book and went down the BP list and I had about 4 of the signs of it. So, there you have it!

I used to use cocaine and marijuana regularly. This was before crystal meth was popular, thank god. My pdoc said I did a good job self medicating. Pot turned on me, it's awful, terrible anxiety. Coke requires tons and tons and I don't need it on a mood stabilizer. Ecstasy by the way doesn't work on a mood stabilizer.

These drugs are really bad for us. Trust your doc. Listen to me. I'm a wise old lady.

I can't say no to anything when I'm manic. Drinks? Drugs? And everything seems so much more fun and inviting. Problem is, drinking makes me manic which makes me drink more which makes me even more manic...
Do you see where I'm going here?