[12AM]

One day = 24 hours is a relative concept. I have a high speed rapid cycle lately, within 24 hours. I'd be manic for like 3 until 4 hours, depressed for 6 to 7 hours, sleep for 5 hours, depressed again for 3 hours, manic for 2 hours and sleep for 3 hours . There, I have 2 days within 24 hours. Last few weeks I have one day within 48 hours. I believe this sounds familiar to some of you.

I am not sure with the reason I make this thread. My thoughts are everywhere but the only body part that I can move is my fingers. Thank God they invented smart phone otherwise I'd be writing this on my wall since I couldn't get my body to use the laptop (please don't ask how do I use the bathroom, lol). I have anxiety and panic attacks too and it has been years since my last panic attacks. I think this happens because the depressive episode is severe. The main trigger is as I finally free from delusions (not 100% but maybe 75%), I now can see clearly that my life is a total mess. It's a very great relief but I need time to calm my self and face the fact before I can start working to fix it. I am trying to control my breath while I am writing this. Thank you for reading.

[mindwrench]

Time is all messed up for me too. If I try to mark days off on the calendar, I will find that I mark off days before they get here, or not mark them off for several days that have passed. My timeline is messed up on a greater scale too, as far as years going by. A family member of mine often pokes fun at me over this, saying I think I worked there for 22 years, and drove truck for 10 years, was unemployed for 15, etc. I'm not old enough for all that to add up.

[Ripose]

Yeah, I have a similar problem like when the Doc. asks how long ago did this or that happen and my response is always "less 55 years but more than 1 year" I really don't know. It started when I was in rehab for alcohol and I did not know what year it was, not even close , been like that ever since.

Of course when I'm sick time drags, when having fun time flies. But I never have much fun anymore so my entire life just drags along.

[JustJace2u]

I've found myself having to write certain things down because otherwise I won't remember them. This is especially true when it comes to things like timelines.

[Fuzzybear]

[vjdragonfly]

Time to me is just the circling of day and night. I try to remember how long something lasts but my memory is not so hot anymore. I hate being questioned on when or how long ago. The days just fade into weeks and so on. If I don't write it down I have a hard time keeping up.