[JustJace2u]

So, my mom and I finally had 'the discussion' today about my MI and she's in complete denial. She claims she knows me better than anyone and that what I'm going through is just a bout of depression because I'm going through 'the change'. I was almost in tears. She's the one who brought up the subject as she must have seen some of the books I've been reading about bipolar disorder. I tried explaining to her that just because I don't have the mania symptoms that my aunt has (she's got BP1) doesn't mean there's something more than just depression. Hell, she knows I was sued by a credit card company and they've now started garnishing my wages until it's paid off. Needless to say, my heart hurts and all I wanna do is cry but I can't because then she'll feel guilty as if it were her fault that this happened to me. I don't know what else I can say or do. She said she wishes she could talk to my t and pdoc and get them to understand her point of view about the whole thing.

[mindwrench]

Sorry it went that way with your mother. I recently spilled the beans to my mother about a lot of things. She seemed somewhat disinterested, and dismissive. It sucks because we live together, and it helps to have someone to talk to in my everyday life. When she turned the television on during one of our discussions it pretty much told me that talking to her is a waste of time about this subject anyway. So apparently she called my sister this evening and told her something is wrong with me (I had a pretty severe manic episode). Which my sister knew as I had been texting her poor phone to pieces all afternoon.

[bizi]

maybe she could go in with your therapy session to talk with them and to better understand what you are diagnosed ....this is an excellant idea!
bizi

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by bizi

maybe she could go in with your therapy session to talk with them and to better understand what you are diagnosed ....this is an excellant idea!
bizi

We live in different states. I just happen to be in town this weekend for a quick visit.

[bizi]

she is in denial.
send her the link to some bipolar websites/info for her to read.I am sorry she is not listening to you or believing you.
I see how this hurts.
my family members don't like to talk about my bipolar....they push it aside too.
bizi

[ComfortablyNumb5]

My dad, bf, and sister are the same way. My dad AND bf both think my psych meds just get me high!! Lmao how dumb and ignorant is that? Sure I wish they made me high lol! I lost the second job in a row because of my MI last year and I'm going for social security. I just got out of IP a month ago and my bf says "you're all better now and ready to work right?" *roll eyes* Its annoying and quite frustrating trying to explain my illness to them but my bf did surprise me by googling for once and he has a better understanding than when we first met. Just wish my dad would do the same. I get what you're going through and I'm sorry your mom reacted that way. Maybe you can send her a book to skim through. My friend is currently reading a book about loving someone with BP and its a good book. I'll ask him the name.

[Trippin2.0]

My mom was in denial at first too, I printed her a few of my worst threads and said "if after reading these you still think what I experience is perfectly normal we both agree the doctors are wrong. If not, you let me deal the way i see fit without judgment"...


She came back to me a few days later and apologized, said she can't imagine what its like being me. That she felt a lil traumatized with that peak into my psyche.


She's been one of my biggest supporters ever since.


Well not so much lately this year, she's ill and I'm taking care of her. But you get the gist.

[mindwrench]

My mom is on a mile long list of med names I see listed on this site. She doesnt know what Bipolar even is. I think her normal doctor put her on all that stuff. Seems like a specialized dr should have had to pick those meds for her, or a therapist.

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by bizi

she is in denial.
send her the link to some bipolar websites/info for her to read.I am sorry she is not listening to you or believing you.
I see how this hurts.
my family members don't like to talk about my bipolar....they push it aside too.
bizi

She is definitely in denial. She works with people who have all sorts of MI so she knows what BP is. She's an attorney who helps people that are struggling for whatever reason, especially those having problems with SSI and SSDI.

[raspberrytorte]

My mom blames bp on the vegetarian diet I had.

lol

And she doesn't believe in anxiety disorders. I hate that. I even printed out sheets for her to read about it. Thanks for completely dismissing my anxiety symptoms, mom. I hate that. Oh, "Everyone gets anxiety."

Anyway, so I'm sorry your mom is dismissing your symptoms.

Hugs, jace.

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

My mom blames bp on the vegetarian diet I had.

lol

And she doesn't believe in anxiety disorders. I hate that. I even printed out sheets for her to read about it. Thanks for completely dismissing my anxiety symptoms, mom. I hate that. Oh, "Everyone gets anxiety."

Anyway, so I'm sorry your mom is dismissing your symptoms.

Hugs, jace.

Thanks. I guess living in different states doesn't help. She only hears my depression talking when we talk on the phone. She doesn't know about any hypo episodes since she wasn't there.

[BipolarMama31]

My fam was necessarily in denial. They just didnt understand.
I wrote a 7 page letter of my true dark feelings, emotions, experiences etc. And they all got a copy.
I heard back from each of them at their own time, within about a week. And all replies were, wow i didnt understand how bad it was, thank you for sharing, i get it now. Sort of replies.

For my mom, it took the letter, and a book recommendation, and joining me to therapy, and taking my letter to her therapist to get it. I think she finally got it when her t said (yelled), if she is telling you she is too sick to do something, that means shes too sick, stop pushing her! Then it clicked.

Good luck!
Older generations sometimes dont understand im finding.

[Row Jimmy]

My mom did the same thing......she has a tendency to live in her own la-la land where all her children are wealthy, perfect, and important.

Eventually, she has started to come around. Don't forget, many people of her generation (she's 73) disregarded weakness, mental illness, and looked at the world from a completely different perspective when they were growing up. People with MI were put into sanatoriums or lobotomized, treated as defective human beings. Medical treatment back then was bordering on inhumane but the stigma was real. So many people of my mom's generation cringe when discussing mental illness.

I took it upon myself to become educated about BP......I had no idea what it was when the doctor said "you're probably bipolar". My reply was "wtf is that"? I then passed that knowledge along to my mom who is good enough to listen and tries to understand. I don't necessarily think she has bought it 100%. Like your mom, she also thinks the diagnosis could be a "mistake" but I know better. I took it, ran with it, and got better so she's seeing the proof.

In short, sometimes "old people" go into complete denial when it comes to modern society.

[fishin fool]

I am sorry you are going through this.
It makes me sad that we all still have to go through this crap.
People will just never get it.

[JustJace2u]

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. Who knows, hopefully in time she will come to realize that it's not the end of the world if her daughter has BP, as long as she's seeking help to keep it under control.