[raspberrytorte]

When I was recently in the hospital I was put on 300mg of trileptal and an additional 2mg of haldol.

Trileptal was turning me into an idiot and making me tired, and haldol was giving me akathisia.

Because of those reasons I stopped taking both of them.

I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow at eleven. Should I tell my pdoc?

I'm supposed to be med compliant because I'm on a six month commitment. I was recently in the hospital though because of an unintentional overdose, so I'm already screwed anyway.

I'm still taking everything else the way I'm supposed to.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Your pdoc can't help you unless he/she knows what you are taking. if you don't tell them you are putting them in a place where they can't make what might be an easy adjustment to help you. And honestly, not being told is the most frustrating thing when you are treating someone. I remember a patient who stopped her blood pressure med and didn't tell me. I was getting really worried and even had her referred to a cardiologist because her blood pressure was really messed up. Then the social worker told me that she'd stopped the med 2 weeks ago. I was livid because I could have accidentally killed her but if I'd known about the med I could have monitored and kept her safer.

Plus, you need medications that are working and keeping you from being suicidal and going through that again. If what they gave you isn't that then they need to know so they can figure out something else.

Some/many pdocs would dump you for a lie as big as taking 2 meds you aren't while on commitment and then you're really stuck.

So for many reasons, yes, please tell.

[raspberrytorte]

I'm hot and panicky about this.

I'm worried, because I've screwed myself with med compliancy, she's going to throw me in the state mental hospital. And that place sounds scary. I've heard horror stories. I'm not sick enough to be there. I'm not that bad. I know I'd only have myself to blame.

[~Christina]

Tell them that the meds are just too much to manage side effect wise and you don't want to non compliant but something had to change.

That way your not saying you dropped them outright.

You can't have any quality of life with the way the meds are effecting you !

Are you on cogentin? Induration ? But help with akathesia.

Hugs ! Stay safe

[Victoria'smom]

Please tell him.

[Gabyunbound]

I'm surprised you didn't get in touch with your pdoc before to tell him/her that you were having intolerable side effects from the medications so that they could make adjustments.

But certainly since it's gotten to this point of not taking the meds, I would definitely tell them. It's better for your stability and, if not, I fear it could make your commitment worse if you're not honest with them. I think it's best that you get back to your family asap -and in a stable state- and the best ways to do that, is to take the meds, and if they have intolerable side effects, to let your providers know.

Please do what's best for you!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

If you don't tell her the truth and have another situation, what will you do then? if you call and say you are in trouble and she wants to up the trileptal that's not the time to tell her. When you can do it calmly and logically explain the problems you had and that you didn't know what else to do that's going to look better. She may still say you should have called her but I think it's still better to be honest and try to keep things very calm with her and try to talk your way through it. They don't like to put people in the state hospital.

I do know how scary it is; back when I was newly diagnosed I saw this pdoc who said I was too manic to be on the streets and she wanted to hospitalize me. I was TERRIFIED of hospitals and that I would wind up in the hospital with one of my own patients and lose my job because everyone would know I was mentally ill. I kept arguing and she kept telling me that I was going to go willingly or I could go in a police car handcuffed to the state hospital and then she pulled out the commitment paperwork. I started yelling and screaming which did not help my case at all but somehow threw together enough words that showed I'd fight the commitment and probably win so she gave me a week to get things together and then I'd have to go willingly or be committed. Then weirdly after a week she no longer wanted me as a patient but did not hospitalize me either.

That panic is a very vivid memory though. So i do understand why you want to avoid it but I doubt that the state hospital is automatic.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Tell them that the meds are just too much to manage side effect wise and you don't want to non compliant but something had to change.

That way your not saying you dropped them outright.

You can't have any quality of life with the way the meds are effecting you !

Are you on cogentin? Induration ? But help with akathesia.

Hugs ! Stay safe

Honestly. Nothing helps me as far as akathisia goes! I'm on both propranolol and cogentin right now and neither help. When I was on haldol before neither of those helped too, and I was on higher doses of propranolol and cogentin.

These people do not listen to me when I tell them that I've already tried these things! They just blow me off and say things like, "Well, that should help you." No. It hasn't in the past.

For whatever reason the shot doesn't give me it.

Maybe I just had it so bad because I was on both shot and pill form.

[~Christina]

Maybe so... I hate that your dealing with lousy shyt care ! If you have to do something at least it should HELP not make matters worse.

[raspberrytorte]

Thanks, christina. It's remarkable how much trouble I'm having here with pdocs.

My last one wasn't too bad, but when I switched counties I had to get a new one.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Akathesia is the worst!!!

I hope things get better for you.

One time I thought I'd be swift and taper myself on lithium so started to then ended up ip for mixed episode and the dr ordered a lithium level test! I had to fess up and they assumed stopping lithium is why I was doing poorly when really it never helped me anyway!

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Akathesia is the worst!!!

I hope things get better for you.

One time I thought I'd be swift and taper myself on lithium so started to then ended up ip for mixed episode and the dr ordered a lithium level test! I had to fess up and they assumed stopping lithium is why I was doing poorly when really it never helped me anyway!

I know. I can't handle akathisia. I'd rather gain weight.

[jpb4815]

Oh Raspberry, I hope that you can work this out. I know first hand how scary it is to get told that you are in danger of being locked up against your will. I came so very close last week. Try calling your doc and mention that you cannot tolerate the side effects of the meds that you no longer want to take them, the key is to then ask for a suitable replacement. I had to go through this with the clozapine that they wanted to place me on, I have severe hypertension in my family and am on the verge of being medicated for it. That should have been red flag number one. I also have a myriad of other cardiac issues that should have been red flags 3,4 and 5. But being typical med students they did not look until my blood pressure got too high.

In your case list off all of the side effects that are making it unable for you to take these meds. Dont forget that they work for you the patient, we are not their test subjects. I wish you the best. The best piece of advice i ever got was some I got from my PDoc once, she told me that I was her customer and it was her job to balance my wellbeing with my satisfaction.

[Fuzzybear]

It is neccessary to talk to your mental healthcare team. They can't help you if they don't know what is happening. And, it is not just your mental health that may suffer; you could risk consequences to breaking your commitment. Don't wait until your next appointment. Call them now.

As part of your discharge plan, were their plans for self-care? Was there a plan for what to do in an emergency or if you need help?

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

Oh Raspberry, I hope that you can work this out. I know first hand how scary it is to get told that you are in danger of being locked up against your will. I came so very close last week. Try calling your doc and mention that you cannot tolerate the side effects of the meds that you no longer want to take them, the key is to then ask for a suitable replacement. I had to go through this with the clozapine that they wanted to place me on, I have severe hypertension in my family and am on the verge of being medicated for it. That should have been red flag number one. I also have a myriad of other cardiac issues that should have been red flags 3,4 and 5. But being typical med students they did not look until my blood pressure got too high.

In your case list off all of the side effects that are making it unable for you to take these meds. Dont forget that they work for you the patient, we are not their test subjects. I wish you the best. The best piece of advice i ever got was some I got from my PDoc once, she told me that I was her customer and it was her job to balance my wellbeing with my satisfaction.

Thanks, jp.

My appointment is only two hours away. I feel somewhat nauseous.

I hate this. I don't know what this woman is going to do! It's only my second appointment with her. And then I have to talk to my caseworker, and I have no idea what she's going to do!

I'm freaked because I don't have a choice in what I take. It all depends on if this pdoc is willing to negotiate with me. If not I'm screwed. I am one hundred percent terrified about it. I don't trust pdocs at all.

[raspberrytorte]

Okay, it seems like everyone thinks I should tell her, including my husband who got pissed off at me, so I'm going to.

Thanks everyone for the responses.

[searching4732]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Okay, it seems like everyone thinks I should tell her, including my husband who got pissed off at me, so I'm going to.

Thanks everyone for the responses.

Good luck! If the is a reasonable human being, she will understand that sometimes the side effects of these meds really are intolerable, and instead of getting upset about it, she'll work with you to try to find a better combo of meds that works. Med compliance is hard enough even when the pills aren't making you want to crawl out of your skin! You certainly can't live like that.

I hope she helps you find a better cocktail of drugs that makes you feel better. Let us know how it goes.

...by the way-- a lot of people, even psychiatrists, will try to treat akathisia with anticholinergics like Cogentin or Kemadrin. Though akathisia is an extrapyramidal symptom caused by antipsychotics, Cogentin doesn't always fix it the way it does with symptoms like dystonia, which responds really well to those anticholingerics. A lot of people find that fast-acting benzos, like Ativan, help a lot more with the akathisia. If your psychiatrist isn't willing to take you off the antipsychotics, you could maybe ask for some Ativan to counteract the akathisia side effects? Not the ideal solution, but it's a thought.

[hopeless2015]

Let us know how it goes....thinking of you!!

[Victoria'smom]

Good luck!

[raspberrytorte]

It went alright. Could have been worse I guess. I'm not very happy because she's taking me off of gabapentin. I read that withdrawal is similar to benzo withdrawal so I get to deal with that again. Yea. Another nightmare. Haldol as needed. She wants to keep me on trileptal.

I'm going to go have a cigarette.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I've been on and off various doses of gabapentin over the years and have never tapered and never had a problem. Hopefully that will be true for you as well.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I've been on and off various doses of gabapentin over the years and have never tapered and never had a problem. Hopefully that will be true for you as well.

Thanks. I hope so.

[~Christina]

I dropped that cold turkey and never had a single problem, upside was my mind felt clearer.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I dropped that cold turkey and never had a single problem, upside was my mind felt clearer.

I haven't noticed any cognitive dulling from it, but maybe I do have it and my mind will become clearer once I'm off it. I hope so. I was taking 600mg four times a day. For now she's having me take it three times a day instead.

If I don't take it I definitely feel it. I feel a lot better when I take it.

I take it for anxiety. It seems to be working alright, so I don't understand why she's taking me off it. She said that propranolol should be enough and that gabapentin is for pain and not anxiety and that I'm on too high a dose of it.

Anyway, so this is the reason why I don't trust pdocs. More often then not they **** me up. This is going to **** me up.