Diagnosed this weekend...

Good Morning Everyone,

I ended up in the hospital after what the doctors described as a "manic" episode (although I don't think I hit full blown mania), followed by depression the doctors diagnosed me as Bipolar 1. I'm having a rough time with this, I had a suspicion that I am possibly bipolar but having the doctors tell me that I am and adding a ton of medications to my cocktail it finally sunk in. The strange thing is that I went to the therapist (PhD student) yesterday he was question my medication and the diagnosis which made me question my diagnosis. I am also terrified of taking unnecessary medication. I keep on questioning whether maybe I am just a lively spontaneous person or if I truly have this disorder. On top of this my stint in the hospital has caused me issues at work (not even sure if I still have a job) I'm also starting a new relationship and am terrified of mentioning any of this information to the man I just started dating.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

On a side note: Does anyone else here become excessively bored? I find that when I start to have elevated moods nothing can satisfy my boredom, this typically leads me into trouble.

My hypomanic episodes always start with a feeling of extreme boredom, and I end up turning my life upside down. Switching careers, going on vacations, getting super motivated to start taking new educational training... last episode I walked in the door after coming home from Vegas and told my husband I wanted a divorce because our marriage was boring.
I generally don't make great life choices when I'm hypo, but at the time I think that I'm enlightened and have finally figured out how to make myself happy and fulfilled! I often regret those choices later when I'm overwhelmed by what I've taken on and slip into depression.

I was recently diagnosed type 2 after suspecting that I had some kind of mood issue going on for years, and being medicated for depression several times. I'm also struggling with this, having kind of an identity crisis. What's me, vs what are symptoms of my illness? Maybe I'm just the kind of person who needs a big life change now and again? But looking at patterns and triggers and etc. etc... I'm starting to think that I really do fit the criteria for bipolar 2. And it's causing me a lot of inner turmoil coming to terms with that.

So, I've been there. In fact I'm right there, right now. We'll figure this all out eventually, right?

Hello possiblybipolar: I'm sorry you've had this unfortunate experience. I just had a couple of comments here with regard to mental health diagnoses & medications.

My personal experience has been that pretty-much every mental health professional I've seen has had a little different take on what's going on with me. And, in fact, I've never actually been given a formal diagnosis by any of them. So, over the years, I have come to feel that mental health diagnosis, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. Consequently it does not surprise me in the least that your therapist might question the diagnosis you received from doctors at the hospital. If your experience, in the future, ends up being similar to what I have experienced, you are likely to have this kind of disagreement among professionals happen again... possibly multiple times.

With regard to psych med's, I'm no longer on any... for better or worse. But I do still have a pdoc. I only see him once a year now, just to keep my foot in the door, so to speak, in case I should need him in the future. Anyway, he will give me pretty-much any psych med I want if it seems appropriate. Anytime I see him, if I mention something that is going on with me, he's right there with a suggestion for some medication I could take. If I wanted to, I could be on a whole laundry list of medications! I choose not to do that.

Ultimately I believe... you as the patient have to decide for yourself what you are & are not willing to take as far as psych med's go based on your doctor's advise & how you feel you are doing day-to-day. Perhaps others feel differently. But I personally feel very uncomfortable allowing the professionals in my life to decide what I will & won't take as far as medications are concerned. I wish you well...

I'm diagnosed as bipolar 1. It took getting used to the idea. At first I didn't know what my diagnosis meant. I just took what was prescribed, and reported my symptoms. I've since researched my diagnosis, and can see the symptoms throughout my life. Research for yourself your diagnosis, and keep a journal.

Welcome to the Bipolar 1 club. You have plenty of company here, so feel free to ask questions and vent whenever you like.

A therapist usually has a different perspective than the medical team but that doesn't make it more right. Especially if it is only a PhD student! If your initial feeling was that your diagnosis was correct.

And yes, I get bored all the time you are not alone in that when you are energetic.

Welcome to the disorder! Kidding aside, your terror of unnecessary medication and your therapist's skepticism are well-founded. I have no qualifications beyond my own longtime personal experience with bipolar disorder.

You described a single episode of mania that was bad enough to put you in the hospital, then having doctors diagnose you as bipolar after a subsequent depression, and adding 'a ton of medications to your cocktail.' Were you referring to the medications that they gave you during the manic episode, or were you taking medications prior to the initial manic episode? Doctors do seem to have a tendency to throw an entire spectrum expensive chemicals at patients simultaneously in hope of achieving stability with minimal side effects (then, maybe, sling some more expensive chemicals in hope of alleviating the side effects).

Many of the drugs are essentially toxic (lithium eventually reduces your kidney function, Depakote can kill you, Zyprexa can make you eat yourself into diabetes, etc. and there is big money in these drugs, especially the new ones. I've gone into pdoc's offices that had sample boxes of one particular cutting-edge high-priced psychotropic or other arranged in sight like merchandise, and wonder of wonders, that's the very prescription I ended up with. You do the math. So yeah, be really careful with your diagnosis, and what you are being prescribed as a result. Having said this, bipolar disorder is dangerous enough that I'll take a high dose of Depakote, an anticonvulsant potentially harmful enough (potentially lethal) to carry an FDA Black Box warning (imagine how hard the makers of Depakote lobbied against that) that keeps me dull and overweight (it's also reported to cause hair loss; some miracle of vanity has spared me that so far) every night. The punch line is that it doesn't even fully suppress the disease; I still cycle and have mixed states and all nature of lunacy, but I'm too afraid of the unfettered disease even to stop Depakote and try something else (I've already tried everything else, and, unlike your doctors, I don't believe in stacking suppressant psychotropics when one doesn't do the trick). So ask a lot of questions. Read a lot. Your therapist is skeptical for a reason. You'll know if the diagnosis is genuine if the disease returns. In the meantime, be careful. Don't tell your new boyfriend until you are sure that you're in it for the long term (both the disease and the relationship).

Don't underestimate the power and the permanence of the stigma surrounding mental illness. Going out of your mind once in a while and then being written off for the rest of your life by the ones closest to you hasn't felt good. I think it may have given me a significant anger problem, but I'm sure my doctor has an expensive drug for that.

I'm in pretty much the exact same boat. My psychologist was never fully convinced that I was bipolar. My medical team has no doubt. I constantly fight this.. wondering if it is an explanation for my life. In a way I hope that the med team is right... because it is an answer with a possible solution.

Welcome to PC.

Maybe keep a mood chart?
Learn all you can about the diagnosis.
Continue to discuss with your therapist.

You can also learn a lot here. I have.
hope to see you around.


WC

It is very hard to except the diagnosis at first but do your own research as well
and it will open your eyes to a lot of things.
There is so much info out there these days you will know if the diagnosis is
you or not.