[jpb4815]

This is my first weekend alone with my kids and no external support. I woke up with a horrible hacking cough, have stayed in bed all day. I have slept for most of it. I got nothing done today, I want to think that I am just sick, but I think that the reality of my situation with my wife/ex-wife?? is finally hitting me. I think I may be getting depressed, I just want to go sleep and cry, but my closet is full of crap from her cleaning her clothes out.
I need to find a way to get to the Gym so I can run until I puke, I am having self harming thoughts. How to do this with my kids here is the question. I am worried.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

Does your gym have child care?

It may be illness, the combo of illness and depression, or honestly just exhaustion. When I'm feeling low (either from being tired - emotionally or physically - or from depression), it's incredibly challenging to have the kids home all weekend on my own.

I do try to take time for myself, even if it means letting the kids watch something on Netflix or something. Sometimes, I try to call in some playdates and drop the kids off elsewhere if I just need space to breathe and/or lose my head for a bit. I take the pressure off myself to make a perfectly balanced dinner and call in a pizza. Or I send the kids outside in the yard and set a timer for a nap. (I don't know how old your kids are and whether any of this is appropriate to their ages.) I think sometimes when you're used to a two-parent household, and it suddenly shifts to single parenting (permanently or just for a time), you can tend to feel like you have to do everything alone; playdates, calling a friend/relative to watch the kids for an hour, getting a sitter - these are all totally reasonable ways of taking some of the pressure off.

Good luck - the rest of what you're going through with your wife is already stressful enough...I'm so sorry you're sick on top of it.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

Also, do you have alternative strategies developed for dealing with the SH impulses? Hopefully you do and can try some of those, or someone else with better experience in this area can chime in here to offer some good advice for that. Take care of yourself...

[jpb4815]

Originally Posted by NoIdeaWhatToDo

Also, do you have alternative strategies developed for dealing with the SH impulses? Hopefully you do and can try some of those, or someone else with better experience in this area can chime in here to offer some good advice for that. Take care of yourself...

Well my SH intervention strategy was to go to the gym and exercise, but I didn't take into account my Mom(back up childcare) being at work until 11pm. And no my gym does not have childcare.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

Did you make it through the night OK? Hoping you found a way to relieve the stress. Incidentally, I find nothing wrong with just having a good cry...I do it when I'm too overwhelmed, even when my kids are around. I let them know I'm having a bad day, or I'm really sad about something (when there's a specific trigger), and that sometimes crying is just a really good way to release all those feelings.

How old are your kids? Are there things they can do on their own? When mine were young enough to be in the house on their own for a bit, but not old enough to actually leave them home alone while I went somewhere, I used to run up and down the street at my house and check in on them as I passed. Are yours old enough for that?

Also, can you get some weights or something that could help you to do a decent workout at home? Even looking up a good cardio routine online - either something where you follow along with a video or a circuit of bodyweight exercises or something - would probably be a good thing for you to do. If there are going to be times where you can't get to your normal SH prevention strategy, you need to identify some strategies that you can do anywhere/anytime in order to keep yourself healthy and safe.

Hope your day today is a little brighter...