Specific Depression

Does anyone else here have depression that doesn't seem like depression, it's more negative feelings aimed at something specific, but it comes and goes just like bipolar mood swings do? Mine is probably related to my OCD as well, but I'm curious if anyone else gets this kind of depression.

For example, I don't really *feel* depressed, but I sometimes will feel like I need to quit my job. Or end a friendship. I have reasons, but not good enough reasons. It's clearly a mood thing, because I don't always feel this way. But I don't have any really bad signs of depression, like not wanting to get out of bed or shower, etc. I just feel more fatigue and negative feelings about something specific. I will sometimes feel a sense of foreboding (that something bad will happen), too. I also get anxiety attacks.

I should mention that my pdoc will NOT put me on an SSRI because they make me hypomanic. I also get very clear hypomania after the depression is finished. So I don't need to be on an antidepressant.

I'm overall pretty stable right now and I have an excellent pdoc, so I'm not looking for opinions about my med cocktail or treatment. I'm just curious if anyone else gets depression like that. Thanks!

It sounds like your indecisive and maybe a bit impulsive in your train of thought. Before you make any big decisions in your life just relax, calm down, and weigh out the pros and cons with a clear head. Sometimes all we need is a good vent ya know! Anytime you need to talk or need some advice feel free to PM. ((Hugs))

I guess depression can manifest itself in many ways. I presume most of the mental health professionals I've seen would say I suffer from depression. But I get up every day & do what needs to be done. Sometimes I do a lot more than needs to be done! On the other hand, I've tried to take myself out twice as a result more of anger than of depression. And I also carry around quite a lot of generalized anxiety along with non-specific fear & paranoia. So, yes, I'd say I probably have depression that doesn't seem like depression.

Could it be overwhelm? Not flat out crushing overwhelm, but more of a subtle tired, frustrated or resentful feeling that might make you want to ditch things to lighten the load? Such a thing could fluctuate depending on circumstances whether external (demands of people, life) or internal (lack of sleep, over-delaying a proper meal, low energy etc.). The foreboding and anxiety might be overwhelm too, or guilt over "shoulds" that you can't quite manage, fear of consequences etc.

Not sure if any of that makes sense. Just some thoughts.

Situational depression maybe? I've been experiencing it for years over finances, and now that my job situation has worsened, I am finding myself more depressed. When I am completely distracted from both situations I can be as fun and fun-loving, and happy as the next person, BP notwithstanding.

I was thinking situational depression as well.

I know you aren't looking for opinions about your meds, but clearly they aren't working or you wouldn't want to quit your job and end friendships. You're clearly depressed, just not so morbidly depressed that you can't function at all.

With the anxiety, if it's increased since you've been on your meds, google the meds with the terms 'side-effects, anxiety' and see what you find. You'd be amazed at how many pysch meds have anxiety as a side-effect! When I was Lamictal I ended up with such horrific anxiety that I was literally afraid to close my eyes!! Fortunately I remembered that a neurologist had told my sister that Topamax caused anxiety so I decided to see if Lamictal did too, and sure enough, it does. Once I got off it, my anxiety was fine.