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#26
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I am trying so hard to enjoy this season and make it special. Every darn year it's the same thing...trying so hard to make the holidays nice and by New Year's Eve I'm entirely unglued. I went to the very crowded, bustling grocery store this morning and very nearly had a melt-down in one of the isles. The loud music being interrupted by loudspeaker announcements, shopping carts everywhere, weary-looking employees trying to be friendly (I felt bad for them), customers all over the place, sick and crying little kids (poor things)....all of it became entirely overwhelming. I'm now trying to calm down. Breathe. Make my day more normal. I want to just crawl in bed and sleep.
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#27
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The holidays are stressful for me. My family is already arguing and everyone isn't even here yet. Last Christmas my sister said seemingly out of nowhere that no one wanted her to be here and threatened to drive 8 hours home. The women started crying, my brother left, and presents remained unopened. My boyfriend seriously considered whether he wanted to come back this year or not.
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Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg |
#28
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My daughter requested that we open presents on Christmas Eve evening so she has something to look forward to after having to deal with last-minute shoppers. I wouldn't blame her for that. I'm also going to make cinnamon rolls from scratch so she can have something to look forward to getting up. Both she and her boyfriend are working tonight and tomorrow. She's becoming an emotional wreck. I feel bad for her.
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![]() MtnTime2896
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#29
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I got all my sewing for Christmas done last night! Then I fell sound asleep at nine and am wide awake at 2. But I am SO GLAD to have that project done. It was not a fun one. I still have to check for loose strings and use a clothing roller on some pieces but the worst is done.
Now to deal with the next 24 hours which are the really hard ones. I am so touched by my mom's surprise. I wanted to go to church for Christmas eve really badly. I have had ankle reconstruction surgery and can't walk in a lot of shoes because I roll my ankle badly. So for years when I dress up it is with sneakers. She took me out and bought me a pair of not too expensive but nice enough to support me shoes so I can feel "normal" in church. Time to try sleeping again....
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
#30
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I made one on another forum without knowing this was here. Thanks for the support. You're awesome.
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"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
#31
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I am looking forward to new episodes of Sherlock. It makes Christmas more bearable: there's hope.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#32
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Great show.
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"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
#33
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__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#34
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Going to church to sing lots of music in an hour+ don't really want to drag out at this late hour or come home after midnight. I hate driving at night.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
#35
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Having a hard day.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Icare dixit, MtnTime2896
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#36
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Hugs and support to all who need it.
I'm enjoying my quiet time on the couch before the family wakes up. My second Christmas seperated from my wife, I spent the night on her couch. The kids said it would be OK if I spent Christmas Eve night there. We'll see how the day goes. |
![]() Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, MtnTime2896
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#37
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Christmas sucks. It started out so simply (Away in a manger...the stars in the sky look down where he lay, etc.) & has evolved into this stressful, hectic time of year that makes me want to scream (at least that's the case in my immediate family). While GF was going out of her head trying to engage in over-kill for her family Christmas, I just left the house, ate at Arby's & went to an AA meeting. I'll just be glad when the season is over. I hate to say it, but quite possibly the best holiday I ever spent was one when I was in the hospital & most of the patients had left to go home. I was able to silently meditate & reflect on the holidays's true spirit. Having written that, however, I realize that many folks spend the holiday at home alone...& it's a diffucult time for them. I'm just speaking for myself.
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#38
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I'm not a fan of Christmas by any means, but it's turning out okayish so far. Not great, just okayish. I can't wait for the holiday to be over with with, though.
As far as food goes, I ate a bagel this morning and had some leftover pizza for lunch. (Christmas is just another day to me.) I also opened some gifts, and now I'm continuing to watch Netflix movies on my iPad, which is what I've been doing all day to distract myself. |
#39
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Christmas Eve kinda sucked because my dad was being a complete jerk. I'm looking forward to later this afternoon because my mom got tickets for my brother and I to go to the Steelers/Ravens game.
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Dx: BP2 and MDD Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia Diagnosed in May 2016 |
![]() Anonymous45023, xRavenx
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