[jtassar93]

So I'm the only one in the house that has to do the laundry. Since I'm the oldest still living at home I guess it's fair. Anyways the washer and dryer are both in the basement. Completely unfinished, cold, and dark. There's only one dim light over the washer and dryer. Everything else is pitch black including the stairs. So I'm forced to be down there for like half an hour at a time alone. I hallucinate down there. Scary shadow figures and even sometimes regular people...it's scarier than hallucinating in the daylight. I'm scared and don't know what to do.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are having to keep confronting this scary situation. Could you get some extra light down there... even if it's lights powered by batteries? Maybe also play some upbeat, but soothing, music?

[mindwrench]

The top tips I have is don't close your eyes, and resist the urge to run on the stairs. Remember that nothing you see has any ability to physically harm you, I know that's a hard one to keep a hold of. Never run from anything you see, it just makes it so much more real and scary. I like things to be absolutely quiet in an environment like that so I can hear any sound. I know the washer and dryer running makes it worse for your senses.

I had to do this as a child, and would get punished if I didn't. While it never got easy to do, I learned what not to do that made it worse. I still hate dark places and basements. Dark places are like a catalyst for my hallucinations.

I have flashlights in almost every room. The dollar store might have some but remember the batteries. I also have electric candles which help if the lights go out. I get very scared in darkness sometimes too. (((Hugs)))

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I'm sorry you are having to keep confronting this scary situation. Could you get some extra light down there... even if it's lights powered by batteries? Maybe also play some upbeat, but soothing, music?

Thank you <3 I have no where to hang anything so I guess I could invest in some flashlights. Anything that would go on the ground to light up the room would be too expensive. Flashlights would still be a bit scary though; they only cover so much space. I could try the music thing. I'd have T borrow my sisters phone because I don't have anything of my own.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by mindwrench

The top tips I have is don't close your eyes, and resist the urge to run on the stairs. Remember that nothing you see has any ability to physically harm you, I know that's a hard one to keep a hold of. Never run from anything you see, it just makes it so much more real and scary. I like things to be absolutely quiet in an environment like that so I can hear any sound. I know the washer and dryer running makes it worse for your senses.

I had to do this as a child, and would get punished if I didn't. While it never got easy to do, I learned what not to do that made it worse. I still hate dark places and basements. Dark places are like a catalyst for my hallucinations.

That's like really hard to resist. I try to close my eyes to make the people go away. And I do tend to run up th stairs lol. I'll try not to and see if it helps.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I have flashlights in almost every room. The dollar store might have some but remember the batteries. I also have electric candles which help if the lights go out. I get very scared in darkness sometimes too. (((Hugs)))

I'll be investing in some flashlights since they're cheap. We're tight on money. Hopefully we get some and I'm not told to just deal with it. <3

Originally Posted by jtassar93

I'll be investing in some flashlights since they're cheap. We're tight on money. Hopefully we get some and I'm not told to just deal with it. <3

I once got a package of like 10 little flashlights for less than 10 dollars. Batteries can be expensive though.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I once got a package of like 10 little flashlights for less than 10 dollars. Batteries can be expensive though.

I'll have to save up then. My parents won't help me I'm sure. One time my step dad thought it was funny to close and hold the basement door on me...he said he was joking and I should be able to handle it but I was terrified.

[Hairball]

What about just plugging a floor lamp in downstairs? or if u have a table, a table lamp

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Hairball

What about just plugging a floor lamp in downstairs? or if u have a table, a table lamp

I could do that. I think there's an outlet somewhere down there. I'd have to save up and buy it on my own though.

Originally Posted by jtassar93

I'll have to save up then. My parents won't help me I'm sure. One time my step dad thought it was funny to close and hold the basement door on me...he said he was joking and I should be able to handle it but I was terrified.

This isn't funny. People just don't get it

I'm sorry he did that...no fair and no fun

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

This isn't funny. People just don't get it

I'm sorry he did that...no fair and no fun

It absolutely wasn't funny at all :/ He likes to do random stuff like that to me because 'I'm the oldest' I mean I am grateful that he pays for my meds and dr appointments since my mom can't afford them, but sometimes he just goes too far.

(Also I'm very grateful that you reply and talk to me on most of my threads. I hope you're doing alright yourself <3 )

Originally Posted by jtassar93

It absolutely wasn't funny at all :/ He likes to do random stuff like that to me because 'I'm the oldest' I mean I am grateful that he pays for my meds and dr appointments since my mom can't afford them, but sometimes he just goes too far.

(Also I'm very grateful that you reply and talk to me on most of my threads. I hope you're doing alright yourself <3 )

I know you are grateful and possibly to a fault. What he is doing is crazy making behavior and is abuse! I would end up in the states hospital if I lived with him. This makes my blood boil. You need SSI and an assisted living home and you need it now. What is happening is called abuse of a vulnerable person and is a crime. A criminal offense. I'm so very sorry you live under such circumstances!!!

I hope you don't mind me saying that!

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I know you are grateful and possibly to a fault. What he is doing is crazy making behavior and is abuse! I would end up in the states hospital if I lived with him. This makes my blood boil. You need SSI and an assisted living home and you need it now. What is happening is called abuse of a vulnerable person and is a crime. A criminal offense. I'm so very sorry you live under such circumstances!!!

I don't mind! It's something I needed to hear. I'm going to talk to my doctor about SSI. And I'll have my mom research it. ( I still don't have a computer ) we are buying me a cheap one because I was going to try taking some online courses for the first time. Sorry, got off track. I'm still very scared of living on my own and having all that responsibility. Plus I won't have anyone to help me out of vis/aud hallucinations, paranoia, and my dissociation. I don't think my step dad knows exactly what he's doing. I guess he just doesn't understand MI.

In a group home they can sometimes place you with roommates who have similar situations to your own plus a person with some training on supporting people in your situation. I don't know if they have this in your area but it doesn't hurt to ask. Explain what your step dad does with you as well as the other conditions you are living in and get your docs advise.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

In a group home they can sometimes place you with roommates who have similar situations to your own plus a person with some training on supporting people in your situation. I don't know if they have this in your area but it doesn't hurt to ask. Explain what your step dad does with you as well as the other conditions you are living in and get your docs advise.

I'm terrified of being alone and terrified of having a roommate, lol. I'll explain to my doctor next visit! Which will be Friday.

Originally Posted by jtassar93

I'm terrified of being alone and terrified of having a roommate, lol. I'll explain to my doctor next visit! Which will be Friday.

I understand completely. I feel the same way but you get a lock on your door. I've resigned myself to the fact that if something happens to my husband or my mom, I will need to live in a group home. It scares me and it's a rare possibility at the time being.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I understand completely. I feel the same way but you get a lock on your door. I've resigned myself to the fact that if something happens to my husband or my mom, I will need to live in a group home. It scares me and it's a rare possibility at the time being.

That's interesting. I'll have to keep that in mind and do some research. Thank you <3