[Moose72]

I just put up a post on my blog (dated today) about my early experiences with psychosis. If I think of more, I'll edit the post. I've been wondering, too, how old we all are here. I'm 44, so my early experiences are way back to teenage-hood and my 20's. Of course, I was undiagnosed until my early 30's, so I had no idea what was going on. Anybody else have similar experiences?

[st0psign]

I'm 27 dxed at around 14, but didn't know the full scope of the illness or how much treatment was actually needed until about 2 years ago when I had my first *typical* full manic state with psychosis. totally took me off my feet, it was like getting hit with a ton of bricks. So much different than anything I had ever experienced before.

[raspberrytorte]

I was diagnosed in my mid 20's, but things didn't get really bad until after my daughter was born. That way triggered me. I'd never experienced really bad psychosis until afterwards.

Oh, my 34. She was born when I was 29.

[mindwrench]

I am 40 now. I was quite young 5-7 when i first experienced psychosis. Though I was in and out of therapy a lot as a child, I was not diagnosed due to keeping symptoms a secret because of threats. I was DX bipolar 1 a few times as an adult over several years but it was based on partial disclosure of symptoms due to fear of being locked up. I was again DX bipolar 1 (partial disclosure) a few months ago when I sought treatment. A few weeks ago I seen a pdoc for the first time ever, and disclosed "all" symptoms which changed my primary DX to schizoaffective, subject to observation that may change to schizophrenia without bipolar.

[Moose72]

Wow Mind wrench! Good for you for disclosing all your symptoms

[Moose72]

Are these normal no hallucinations? (In the link below)

[HALLIEBETH87]

I am 29 and was diagnosed at 21, but my symptoms started when I was a teenager.

At first I was dxd with depression, alexithymia and borderline traits. I have had several diagnoses over the years until this past year when I started getting paranoia and hallucinations. And this year was my first psychotic episode. Now my diagnoses are bipolar 1 with psychotic features, panic disorder and PTSD.

I'm not sure when psychosis first hit me, but my psychoses (is that the plural form?) are pretty mild in nature.

First time I recognized psychosis was when I was 24 (and I'm 25 now), but I do remember having delusions where I thought everyone was out to get me. Specifically, I thought all my classmates and teachers were holding meetings after class without me to find ways to capture, torture, and kill me. (Ok... on second thought, maybe not so mild lol)

But anyway, I can sort of relate to the orange rectangles in the sky thing. I've seen weird things like that which appeared when I quickly glanced over at something, and seemingly disappeared just as quickly when I looked away and tried to look back. I'm not sure if it's a genuine BP hallucination or a brief trickery of the eye... but I can relate

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

But anyway, I can sort of relate to the orange rectangles in the sky thing. I've seen weird things like that which appeared when I quickly glanced over at something, and seemingly disappeared just as quickly when I looked away and tried to look back. I'm not sure if it's a genuine BP hallucination or a brief trickery of the eye... but I can relate

I have some of those, too. The rectangles, though, were solidly in the sky so that when I looked away and back again they were still there.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I was first dx'ed bipolar at age 20 after a neuro-psych assessment (confirmed last year as BP 1), and not too long after went into a mild untreated psychosis, that revolved around the 2012 conspiracies (though it lasted into 2013 the delusions just evolved into new ones), I did report the voices.to a weird psychiatrist who tried diagnosing me with schizo-affective (I don't have that), and my grandparents knew about the voices, but convinced me I was hearing a TV at my neighbors house (in the middle of winter with the windows closed, okay, but I was.convinced it was that). So I was about 20/21yrs old when I went through my psychotic break, how much of that happened in a mood episode I do not know, but I wasn't hypomanic/manic for months on end, so idk. But that's my story...

[junkDNA]

i became psychotic when i was 16, i believe i had delusions prior to that though. but i thought they were normal. i was first Dx with major depression w/ psychotic features, now i just have psychotic disorder and complex ptsd

[franz kafka]

I'm not sure when I had my first psychosis. About age 16 or 17 I think, after being given Effexor.

[Moose72]

In my blog, I wrote about seeing aliens and being afraid of the "dark coming to get me" when I got my wisdom teeth out. Now I'm wondering if that could've been from the narcotics they gave me. ONCE, I took a dose early. Is that an overdose? Or maybe in general, that's how I reacted to these pain pills? Or maybe the pain pills just drew it out of my bipolar brain? That it was always ready to come out anyway?

I'm not positive but I think I had my first delusional break at 15. I was violently and emotionally attacked more by than 100 people and switched schools and was put in group therapy. One of the girls in my group was an older cheerleader at my new school. She and her friends started laughing when they'd pass me and I became certain they knew and were working with the others. I'd never taken bus or Bart and took the lunch money I saved and hopped on several buses and then Bart and when several cities over to a friends house. I was sure I was pregnant even though there was NO WAY I could be and no reason to think this and was sure I needed to kill my self. My friend gave me 10 dollars for a pregnancy test and told me to buy a pregnancy test and wait till she came home from school. I decided I must die. I went to the store and spent the money on candy and a hair brush then watched to the end of the city (I walked so far) to another friends house and told her I was running away, but needed a place to stay and some cereal. She fed me while her mom called my mom and they made a 30 drive in what must have been 10 minutes. I just wanted to walk off and die (no plan on how to do it) but I went back with them and was in the hospital the next day. We were robbed before this and I told my parents it was the neighbor kid and just knew. I also made a ton of 916 calls to hook up with older men. I was 15 and sexually inexperienced and these men were late 20's and possibly near 40's. When they came to the door, my parents fortunately sent them away. I had no intentions of sleeping with them but we did talk about sex on the phone so who knows what would have happened. No drinking or drug use ever at this time. My parents thought it was a drug problem. I drank a beer once and liked it. My dad even allowed me sips of his so I agreed it might have been a factor (hardly likely as I never felt a buzz and it was a 3-4 time thing). We later learned and the cops caught the neighborhood kid because he tried to pawn it off. A virgin birth did not occur either.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I did not tell them about the 916 calls or the immaculate conception.

[mindwrench]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I did not tell them about the 916 calls or the immaculate conception.

I've hid a lot of things from T's over the years too. Even though I knew it didn't work that way I thought if I wasn't DX with X illness then I wouldn't actually have that illness. There was some kind of placebo effect truth to the thinking though, as when I did start admitting to it seemed to have a tighter grip on me.

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I've hid a lot of things from T's over the years too. Even though I knew it didn't work that way I thought if I wasn't DX with X illness then I wouldn't actually have that illness. There was some kind of placebo effect truth to the thinking though, as when I did start admitting to it seemed to have a tighter grip on me.

((((Hugs))). I've found that by learning about it it's help me to hold a grip and not react in situations where I might. But at the same time knowing something is true makes the "crazy label" more confusing. Now I'm in a battle and don't know what to think. If I didn't have this "I might be crazy" label trust upon me, I would be more sure and confident in myself.