[Upsidedownandinside]

I'm tired
Sick and tired
Hoping that some doctor will bee able to cure mem.
But they don't, all they do is medicate until we are no long a threat to society !
Doctors can't help us
Nothing can

There is only one cure
I'm in such a darkv. place atm

[Skeezyks]

[still_crazy]

All the drugs can do is improve some symptoms. Stop voices, reduce agitation, lift mood somewhat, help you sleep, etc. That's about it.

Do you have any friends or family who can hang out with you? Any hobbies? Books to read, music to listen to? Do you write?

How about..any projects you can throw yourself into?

Psychiatrists aren't that great. Some are helpful, some are cruel, many are in between. If you can, I'd suggest thinking of yourself --outside-- the labels. You're not "Bipolar" or whatever. You're a human being, and things have happened, and now you deal with some problems. What the "experts" say in terms of labels and such is not relevant to your day to day life.

Hope this helps.

[hopeless2015]

Sending hugs...I'm sorry your hurting so right now

[Fuzzybear]

[venusss]

Doctors cannot heal you.

YOU can heal you.

Meds can help the symptoms, but it's down to you to dig to the depths of yourself and find what you need to feel more at peace. Look for good omens. Take the best care of yourself. Find something to drive you.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

There is no cure for BP. Just meds to manage it. You just need to find the right cocktail and even then, it may change down the road. I've been Dx'ed for 12 years now and the one and only med that's stayed consistent is seroquel for insomnia. I've tried most meds out there. I'm sure many of us have. It's a life long battle. Cheer up and tell your pdoc how you're feeling. Maybe an adjustment would help.

(((Hugs))). You can pm me if you need to talk. I'm not in the best place myself but I am a good listener.

[Upsidedownandinside]

Thank you everyone

I've just got too much happening.

I was in hospital for two weeks recently, they did a full screening...
Red flag popped up for hiv

I'm devastated, but have to wait three weeks for the next test.

Yeah in on 600mg of seroquel to help me sleep. I just woke up here in S.A. I think I'm going to take another dose, and some pain meds and sleep the whole day

Thanks all

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Upsidedownandinside

Thank you everyone


I've just got too much happening.


I was in hospital for two weeks recently, they did a full screening...

Red flag popped up for hiv


I'm devastated, but have to wait three weeks for the next test.


Yeah in on 600mg of seroquel to help me sleep. I just woke up here in S.A. I think I'm going to take another dose, and some pain meds and sleep the whole day


Thanks all

I'm so very sorry . Hang in there ((hugs))

[Upsidedownandinside]

What can you do.....

A homeless guy was either having a fit or a seizure ii was inside the pharmacy when people shouted, I've got a level 3 first aid, so went to help, stupid me didn't wait for gloves, but he would of drowned in his own vomit I I didn't react. He had cuts and abrasions all over his head, so I've been questioning iI had a open wound on my hand.....

The first tests looks for the antibodies that are associated with it, that came up positive

Other 2 tests came back inconclusive, so now I wait, and worry.

Do I tell my girlfriend soon to be fiance? I'm supposed to be going to see her and proposing in December
Who'd want to marry me then....
I'll die alone 😭

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Upsidedownandinside

What can you do.....


A homeless guy was either having a fit or a seizure ii was inside the pharmacy when people shouted, I've got a level 3 first aid, so went to help, stupid me didn't wait for gloves, but he would of drowned in his own vomit I I didn't react. He had cuts and abrasions all over his head, so I've been questioning iI had a open wound on my hand.....


The first tests looks for the antibodies that are associated with it, that came up positive


Other 2 tests came back inconclusive, so now I wait, and worry.


Do I tell my girlfriend soon to be fiance? I'm supposed to be going to see her and proposing in December

Who'd want to marry me then....

I'll die alone

I can only imagine how much this sucks but yes you do need to tell her if you guys are uhh exchanging body fluids. I can't say how she'll react but it is the right thing to do.

[Upsidedownandinside]

Don't worry

I love her more than life itself

She's in Russia and I'm in south Africa

But we're supposed to be making plans for us to meet in December.
Plane tickets, visas, you name it.

I'll know in three weeks time if I'm infected, but she senses something is wrong.
Doctors say even if I am infected with all the meds we can still be to get, he said there's a 0.1 % chance if I'm on meds, to me that's far too high!

She's my everything, my reason.

I just don't know if I must tell her now that there's a possibility or when I know for certain

Your thoughts please

[Upsidedownandinside]

Who am I kidding....

If the antibodies and antigens are there, it doesn't look good at all, I fact doc said you have a 4% chance of not being infected....

Then the next set of tests are to determine how many parts per million I think, at that came back inconclusive.

Then third set, I forget the name, and that came back inconclusive. ..

So I have to wait three weeks and do it all over again....

She's my everything, my reason

The reason I take my meds properly, the reason I stopped drinking, the reason I stopped my substance, the reason I get out of bed in the morning and go to work.

I can't ask her to stay with me, I love her too much!

I will never have a wife
I will never have children
I will never have a house with a picked fence

If I lose my reason......

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry that you are having a rough time.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Look at it this way... these days HIV is so easily managed with proper meds. Plenty people live a full happy life with this. It's not the end of the world. Just be honest with your gf. That's all I can say. Hopefully she understands.

I can't fathom how you're feeling. Not even close. But this isn't a death sentence like it was 30 years ago. Keep your head up and have hope. We're all here for you.

[still_crazy]

HIV is treatable. If its diagnosed early, the medications work better, and your life can continue on smoothly for decades to come. Its really when people have had it for a long time before diagnosis+treatment that things get rough, from what little I know about it.

[Upsidedownandinside]

Thanks everyone

I really really need support right now

My shrink has been amazing, let's me text her whenever I burst out crying.

It feels like a death sentences I feel like there's something dirty inside me.

She's my world, but how can we ever be together? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if i gave it to her.

Life is so ironic, not too long ago I tried to commit suicide, then I start finding a reason to be happy and I get given a death sentence,,,,

The waiting is the hardest part.

How will we ever have kids
Fml

[GGChar]

I'm so sorry you are facing this. Perhaps you can be honest with her and tell her the whole story. I am sure you would want to support her if she were facing a tough time. You were doing something human and brave when you helped that person.

I can't even imagine what it is like to deal with this but as others have said, HIV is much more manageable now than in the past. It doesn't mean your dreams are over. It sounds as if you have a soulmate who can be there for you and you will work it out together.

Please keep us posted on everything.