[1278]

Hey everyone, so I thought I was doing okayish for the last 2 weeks but clearly not. After I had delusions and hallucinating for the first time after stopping my meds, I told my pdoc everything, he was very understanding as I had been severely depressed for the past 6 months and was extremely frustrated. He said I was on too many meds (three mood stabilizers, xanax and an antidepressant) so he decided to increase my lamictal, antidepressant and remove the other 2 mood stabilizers- trileptal and topamax, as they didn't seem to do much. Now its been 2 weeks and I'm emotional mess, I can't stop crying at the littlest things, I wake up crying from nightmares, I was even crying when I saw one of the posts on the forum! I don't know what's going on, usually suicidal ideation is my biggest hurdle, but now I feel emotionally exhausted from swinging from euphoria to depression during the day, I don't know what to do anymore. I spoke to my pdoc, he increased the lamictal and antidepressant but it doesn't seem to be helping. I really can't do this, being depressed for 6 months nearly killed me, I'm fighting a losing battle, I'm so confused, everything just hurts, I just want to end it all (sorry for the long post)

This has gone on too long and I'm sorry you are in such a state. Things must be very difficult for you right now. Do you have anyone close you can reach out to? Are you safe? It's sounds like you could be in a mixed state and that can be very dangerous so please be safe ok? I'm sorry you are struggling and swinging....that must be exhausting for you. I know it is for me. (((Hugs)))

[1278]

Thank you elsa, I think I'm going to call my local suicide hotline, I can't speak to my parents about it but hopefully they can help me. Thank you for taking the time for responding, and thank you all for the hugs, I know everyone is also going through a hard time and it's difficult to support others when you are struggling yourself, that's why I appreciate this forum so much.

Originally Posted by 1278

Thank you elsa, I think I'm going to call my local suicide hotline, I can't speak to my parents about it but hopefully they can help me. Thank you for taking the time for responding, and thank you all for the hugs, I know everyone is also going through a hard time and it's difficult to support others when you are struggling yourself, that's why I appreciate this forum so much.

Anytime...we are here 24/7 too. So post if it helps. We do sleep so if a reply doesn't happen right away give it time and never hesitate to bump up your post if you really need help. Call an ambulance or get your parents to take you to the hospital if it gets worse. Good luck with the hotline. (((Hugs))))