[Wander]

Coming down from euphoric mania in to mixed state. IP currently. Last night I tried to abscond from the unit to do bad things. This morning I hardly saw a nurse and felt so abandoned and uncared for considering I was a risk to myself. I know I am being irrational but I am so emotional but I am well past my max in coping with strong emotions. My doctor was supposed to see me around lunch but didn't. This drives wild. He may come up early evening - he has to as i need to be assessed before the week-end.

After experiencing such profound euphoria this crash is an awful place to be in. So agitated, restless, low, desperate and on the edge of sanity. My brain hurts from overthinking and my soul crushed, despondent and despairing. I am also incredibly inpatient so waiting to see my doctor or nurses drives me wild. Trying to distract myself as best I can to pass the time and have a break from these awful feelings and urges.

Anyone have any tips on serving bad mixed episodes with SI? I want to live but my brain is impulsive and very self-destructive at times. Need to see my pdoc to get advice on this and perhaps add another med to calm me down as I am maxing out on my daily clonazepam and Olanzapine doses. They calm me for a couple of hours, well calm me a little, but then they drop off and I am back into hell.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

When I'm dysphoric I take a benzo and take a nap. I spend a lot of time to myself so I don't go off on someone. I up my seroquel (with pdocs ok) and sleep it off till I come down. Give yourself time to heal and let the meds sink in. You're in the best place you can be right now.

[DelusionsDaily]

I really hope you see your pdoc in the evening so you can be assessed further. Holy moly! You've been on one wild ride for at least a few days that I've been following. At least you're in a fairly safe place being IP. It is frustrating when they don't have time for patients(the nurses). I hope they pay closer attention to you with all your going through.

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry you continue challenged with more distress.

If you need/want more attention/support from a nurse, is it possible to ask for this directly?

I hope all settles down soon.


WC

Awwww, sweetie! (((((((((Wander))))))))) Agitation sucks so very much.

At such times, I also do like you --distraction as much as possible and also like RxQueen -- try to power down with meds to sleep. I really hope your Pdoc comes by to help out with that!

Are you able to splash your face with icy cold water?

Have markers? When my mind was trying to drive me to do pretty horrific things, I've used them to write on the bottoms of my feet. Wrote words that looped my mind.

You may even be able to imagine "crushing" these thoughts because they are underfoot.

Please post as much as you find helpful, ok? (My sleep med's kicking in, but will check by in morning.)

[Wander]

Thanks everyone. Just saw my pdoc and he is hitting me hard with lots of meds in the hope of calming me down and breaking this episode. He has also set up a plan to work with the nurses so I have better care and when they are too busy to provide it they will call my parents to get them to visit me so I am not alone. Last night I did directly ask for help but was sent away as they were too busy. This sent me off the edge. Hence the new nursing plan.

I am happy with this. If I don't post much over the next few days it is because I am too sedated. If this doesn't work I am going to be moved to a locked ward. Right now I am ok-ish but still agitated and worked up. In an hour I will get a heavy dose of Olanzapine and Clonazepam so I hope that brings me down. If not I have Clopixal and Ativan to put me to sleep.

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

When I'm dysphoric I take a benzo and take a nap. I spend a lot of time to myself so I don't go off on someone. I up my seroquel (with pdocs ok) and sleep it off till I come down. Give yourself time to heal and let the meds sink in. You're in the best place you can be right now.

I do this too. I take a benzo + Seroquel to sleep it off. I've found that's the best way to help with the nasty thoughts.

Everyone is different, but I've found that writing down my thoughts is a great way to "vent", even if no one actually reads what I write down. Innerzone's idea sounds good, especially if you can't get a piece of paper.

But anyways, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope you break the episode soon! It's great to hear that your parents can see you and keep you company.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. All my self soothing is useless once I've hit the point it sounds like you are in. Are there any other patients in IP who you can relate to or chat with when your doctors and nurses aren't able to supply you with your need for human contact? It sounds like some companionship could do you wonders but it's hard to make friends in the state you are in so my heart goes out to you. (((Hugs)))

Oh! I am so glad to hear they are going to try sedation to knock it down! Being really agitated is such a hard state to deal with without it.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

All my self soothing is useless once I've hit the point it sounds like you are in.

Exactly.

Please keep us posted as you are able, Wander. Hoping so very much the sedation can break this state and give relief to you.

[Wander]

Last night I slept from 8pm to 5.30am. A great sleep thanks to meds. Right now I am taking 10mg of Olanzapine 3x a day, 2mg Clonazepam 3x per day, Lithium total of 1250mg twice day. Ritalin 10mg 3 x a day AND for emergencies I will take Clozapix 20mg and Ativan 2mg.

I am guessing I will be sleeping a lot. My doctor said he had no other choice out side of committing me to a a locked ward, which can be traumatic. Hopefully a weekend of this will keep me calm. Th e dr also allowed me out with my parents as he believes the positive experience of swimming in the ocean will help me even though I am still technically on very close observations. He trusts me parents enough to care for me. I am lucky to have them.

Anyway, today will be my first day on high meds. I will update you guys in 12 hours and let you know how sedated I am.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

That's great. You sound better! Sleep all you need. When I was IP in august I slept for two of the five days lol.