Questions: Bipolar Version 2

No.

Do you have hand tremors from meds?

Lithium when adjusting to it

Worst/best med experience?

Trileptal. All that anger and hatred disappeared. That type of moody behavior was my worst enemy.

What's your go to coping skill for depression? Good or bad.

sleep. All the time.

How long have you been seeing your current therapist and/or pdoc?

I don't get depressed that often at all but I usually get cathartic with music and try to sing through it.

What was a hallucination from your childhood?

a tall woman (perhaps in her 30's), dressed smartly sitting in her special office chair working on my computer, with the screen briteness adjusted

do your helusinations tend to happen in a certain room/ situation (on your own, in a crowd,)

Is hallucinating a symptom of BP2?

Anything is possible..

I don't have hallucinations. I have more paranoia almost delusion issues

Can you remember how many pdocs you have worked with?

Yes (I think; I'm not gonna try to remember).

It would be secondary: depression can cause hallucinations. But everyone can experience hallucinations.

Hallucinations not part of mania/psychosis I experience when there are no people around. It's typical: too little stimulation (which is relative).

Have you ever experienced or met someone who had alogia, an inability to and unawareness of saying the words you mean, so that people have a hard time understanding what you're saying, or anything like it (maybe just more like dyslexia; less severe)?

No.

Do you have frequent nightmares?

Not so much anymore, but I do have the most bizarre, sometimes vivid, dreams.

Do you tend to get dysphoric or euphoric mania?

dysphoric, evil mania

Do you have any really great memories of euphoric mania?

Yes! I've started a journal which is full of ideas I get when hypomanic. I tend to make it my mission to brighten the days of others when feeling euphoric.

One time, I plucked dandelions at night, walked along the board walk and happily blew their fuzz in the nighttime summer air.

My most recent time, I did an obstacle course made of ropes and zip lines through the trees near my city. I wasn't scared of heights in the least... I felt so at peace with nature and invincible really (though thankfully listened to the guide and used my carabiner and ropes). I loved the heightened senses. I felt so one with the universe. It's a powerful, addictive feeling.

If you could, would you wish to not have bipolar?

No.

Do you think BPD is more similar to BP2 or to schizophrenia, is it more of a psychotic or a mood disorder?

Oh, no! You might be getting me in trouble that question! I think BPD is more of a mood disorder because it can be successfully treated with DBT & CBT...Meds? Not so much (*Ducks!* IMO). While DBT did me a lot of good, I'd be screwed without meds....Especially the APs.

What's the longest you've stayed awake without any sleep at all?

4 days

What's your favorite song you can relate to?

I have a few, some (more) related to mania, some to (disorganised) schizomania, some to depression, some to BPD. So here are four, one for each, respectively: Don't Stop Me Now (Queen), The Great Pretender (The Platters), Knockin' On Heaven's Door (Dylan), Jealous Guy (Lennon). Another BPD one would be To Love Somebody (Joplin). My favourite, since it could be about both BP and BPD and because I've always felt it describes (a part of) me rather accurately from a very young age (same with Jealous Guy), a very long time before I knew what BP or BPD was, is (maybe) Ruby Tuesday (The Rolling Stones).

Can you play a song the moment you've heard it?

I can sing a song the moment I've heard it.

Are you overdue for new shoes? (Basic, everyday shoes like runners/tennis shoes.)

LOL...Yes, I need new shoes. I love my current running shoes & I've been wearing the same pair every day for the past year. When I take off my shoes at night, my GF goes, "What's that smell?" I blame it on the dog.

Have the police ever carted you away to the "funny farm?" (Just so you know I'm not being self-righteous, I'd have to answer, "Yes." )

No but only because I managed to start screaming the right things about fighting the hold and they'd never keep me past 3 days because I wasn't actively suicidal and eventually she realized I could talk my way out and put down her pen (she was doing the paperwork already). I was supposed to have agreed to a voluntary admit in a week but she dropped it and me too which was fine by me--hated that dr.

Have you had a pdoc or therapist fire you?

I have.

how open are you with your therapist?, as open as you wouldl ike to be- or is their stuff you hold back.

I do tend to hold back I think. I was actually just telling my t the other day that sometimes I feel weird because it's as if I've got nothing to talk about, but then there are all these thoughts racing through my head that I just can't seem to get out verbally.

If there ever was a cure for BP, would you take it?

I'd probably take it because my PDoc would probably talk me into it. Then again, would she? She'd be out of a job pretty soon!

What's something fun that you're doing today? (I might get a new piece of jewelry for my nose.)

I'm thinking about going to see a movie later.

What's one thing on your bucket list?

Getting new nose jewelry and a new piece to my vertical labret.