[kid_of_bp_mom]

I was being upset this morning cause my skin has been acting up again (bad acnes.) I was in my room crying, feeling too ugly to leave the house, then my mom got sad and cried too. (Every time I get sad/upset, she gets irritated and says it's cause she cares about me so her mood follows mine.) Then she left the room, and after a few minutes she came back looking pissed, and told me to stop TORTURING her.

I've heard many rude comments about my face every since I started getting acnes, but never something to hurtful! My own mom, telling me that I was "torturing" because of something I can't control? I didn't choose for this to happen to me and she knows it, yet she uses her "pains" and "depression" to blame things on me every single time.

I texted her telling her it hurt to hear that from her, and she replied "..." & "I'm too exhausted to say anything" & "your attitude makes me sad" (what attitude??) I continued to say I can't help that I'm ugly now, and she said "end of this conversation" and has been ignoring me ever since.

I am so mad at my mom for blaming everything on me. I always have to apologize if I've done something to trigger her, but she can't even say sorry for hurting me. Why does she always have to use bipolar as an excuse to put blames on others?!!

[Victoria'smom]

That is not because of bipolar my mood swings are not effected by others mood.

Perhaps your mom was not upset by your acne but by the way you are handling and responding to it? Not that this would make what she said ok.

I'm very sorry your mom hurt you. When I'm in a bad episode I can say hurtful things I do not mean at all. This is not me blaming bipolar, it's a legitimate medical problem. I would be horrified if I said something like that to my child or made my child feel as you are feeling now. I cannot speak on behalf of your mother though.

I'm truly sorry for everything. I battled acne for awhile until I found what works to control it for me and it was very difficult. It can really effect your self esteem and lifelong prognosis. (((Hugs)))

[kid_of_bp_mom]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

That is not because of bipolar my mood swings are not effected by others mood.

My mom always tells me her mood is based on mine, and every time I get upset, she'd start looking depressed and go to her room. And when I ask what's wrong she'd say it's cause of her "illness" and how something small that I say/do can "trigger" her

[kid_of_bp_mom]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Perhaps your mom was not upset by your acne but by the way you are handling and responding to it? Not that this would make what she said ok.

I'm very sorry your mom hurt you. When I'm in a bad episode I can say hurtful things I do not mean at all. This is not me blaming bipolar, it's a legitimate medical problem. I would be horrified if I said something like that to my child or made my child feel as you are feeling now. I cannot speak on behalf of your mother though.

I'm truly sorry for everything. I battled acne for awhile until I found what works to control it for me and it was very difficult. It can really effect your self esteem and lifelong prognosis. (((Hugs)))

Thank you
My mom wasn't upset about how I was responding to it, she said that seeing me sad makes her depressed... So I'm always feeling responsible for her mood swings.

[Moose72]

You are not responsible for you mother's feelings! Especially just for being you.

Originally Posted by kid_of_bp_mom

Thank you
My mom wasn't upset about how I was responding to it, she said that seeing me sad makes her depressed... So I'm always feeling responsible for her mood swings.

As parents we are naturally very effected by our children's mood. This is true. But we are also responsible for how we express our sadness to our children and making them feel responsible for our moods is not acceptable. My mother has a very hard time when I cry and often says that if I do anything to myself, she will follow right behind me so I must accept responsibility for that too. She means well but it does put guilt on me.

Do you think perhaps your mom means well but doesn't communicate it effectively or do you believe your mom is intentionally saying things to bring you down?

[kid_of_bp_mom]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

As parents we are naturally very effected by our children's mood. This is true. But we are also responsible for how we express our sadness to our children and making them feel responsible for our moods is not acceptable. My mother has a very hard time when I cry and often says that if I do anything to myself, she will follow right behind me so I must accept responsibility for that too. She means well but it does put guilt on me.

Do you think perhaps your mom means well but doesn't communicate it effectively or do you believe your mom is intentionally saying things to bring you down?

She means well, but often says things the wrong way when she's upset and won't admit (will say I misinterpret her instead.) I guess I shouldn't take her upset words too seriously cause she doesn't mean it

Originally Posted by kid_of_bp_mom

She means well, but often says things the wrong way when she's upset and won't admit (will say I misinterpret her instead.) I guess I shouldn't take her upset words too seriously cause she doesn't mean it

I think it's healthy for you to consider and acknowledge she probably doesn't mean it. However that doesn't change how it hurt and made you feel and you need to honor and acknowledge your own feelings too. I'm so sorry you were hurt by your moms words...even if she didn't mean to hurt you, you were still hurt. (((Hugs)))

You're right, your mom shouldnt be using her bipolary as an excuse... Im sorry your hurting But just remember there are times when we dont mean what we say, i have a feeling your mom isnt doing to well... and cant help hurting you because she is hurting. Does this sort of make sense? She is your mother and should treat you right ~ but we all make mistakes sometimes. Try not to take it too hard…

PS: You're not ugly. You just manipulated yourself into thinking that way. And well obviously that puts pressure on your mom to become upset…