[sprik]

8 years now, he just wont stop. I can write pages and pages of his and his controlling ways of him and his girlfriends ways. They touture me and my children I have friends, but only share 10% of what goes on because no one believes someone can be so horrible and that it has gone on so long I have a caseworker. On my 5 on in 8 yrs I just have no more in me to want to start over with them and then bam!!!!! I feel so lonely .... so overwhelmed....so horrible that I just hate life, people, I try to pick my life back up, do things that make me happy, then its like he senses it and throws something at me. its a constant up, down struggle. NO ONE NO ONE understands, my mom justs yells at me, the kids have put up protected walls. Try to date, hahahha, my insecurities go crazy, he does something and im numb..... im either over the top, angry or numb inside with other guys More and more I just hate my life

This sounds very difficult and I'm sorry you went through all that. I have an ex from hell too so PM me anytime if you want to vent....I get it.

You sounds like you are very overwhelmed right now. Are you in a safe place?

[emgreen]

I was divorced 15 years ago &hated my ex for many years...I really let her get under my skin. Two things helped: 1.) The kids grew up & left the nest so their mother's venom could no longer affect them. & 2.) It sounds stupid, but Im in AA. One of their suggestions is to pray (or whatever you do) & wish your ex the same things you wish for yourself. For some reason that minimized my hatred into mere dislike. She doesn't get under my skin anymore. Good luck.