[raspberrytorte]

Of all meds that I could abuse, I abuse gabapentin!

I'm a gabapentin abuser!

I ****ed up again. My husband had a trust in me that I could get my med ration without messing up, and I took two extra gabapentin and now he's mad and disappointed in me again.

What is wrong with me!

[Victoria'smom]

You feel like no one is listening to you. Your anxiety is high and I think you need a php program. Try not to focus on this misstep and focus on taking the meds regularly.

[raspberrytorte]

What's a php program?

(Sorry. I know that's probably a stupid question.)

I take all of my other meds the way I'm supposed to. It's just the gabapentin. I can't handle my stupid anxiety. That's why I do it. If I take three or four at once they work.

[still_crazy]

I dunno. Back in the day, I had prescriptions for both Klonopin and gabapentin. I liked the Klonopin, not so much the gabapentin, but a friend of mine (who also had a prescription for Klonopin) --loved-- the gabpentin. I had 300mgs capsules, and she'd pop them like candy.

I think its how you react to the drugs and what's going on in your life. Could you just get your dosage increased a tad? Gabapentin isn't a controlled substance and its cheap(ish), so I don't see why this is a huge deal.

[Victoria'smom]

PHP is a day hospital program where you go daily to groups and see a pdoc weekly and sometimes have a T. I doubt you have a program like that since you live in the middle of nowhere.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Neurotin is addicting as far as for me.
It was one of the most difficult drugs for me to quit. It enhances opioids and makes them work better. I don't know why.
Be very careful with this med.

[PenguinExMachina]

I take Gaba 4x a day and I've noticed the pleasentness it can produce. I think it can be a dangerous one for some people. I think if you are concerned, you should definitely talk to your doc.

[~Christina]

I gave my husband my meds about 5 years ago, mine was I would forget I took X pill then take another and another , mine was almost always due to Fibro pain, not bipolar. Once I over served my self and a friend in Cape Town South Africa tracked my husband down on Facebook to let him know I kept saying I was taking more and I wanted to sleep.... he came right home and I signed myself in IP.

So he gives them to me each day , I do have 2 days worth in case he's out and about.

He was very upset, it's scary to know a loved one will take more meds, it terrified my husband and he was mad. But he doesn't worry at all now.

I hate that you're going through all this, if I remember right you live out a long ways from a PHP or IOP.

You broke his trust, it needs to be built back up.

Can he go to your T appt and you can just explain you have him controlling your meds?

I do think this problem goes back to you being weaned off the benzo far to quickly.

(((((( hugs )))))

[bioChE]

Gabapentin is a fun med, but only the slightest bit. As Penguin said, it's "pleasant."

If you use it regularly, there's no benefit to going above a certain dose. If you're prescribed 600mg 4x/day but feel better with 900 mg, why don't you just take it at 900 x 2, and 600 x 1? It lasts forever, IMHO there's no need to take it 4x/day.

As always, YMMV.

[Trippin2.0]

You're right, the problem is clearly your anxiety, but drugging yourself to your eyeballs is clearly not the solution.

Have you looked into acquiring coping mechanisms, beyond pill popping to address the anxiety?

My thinking is that, if you at least learn to cope with however your garden variety anxiety manifests, then you could save the Gaba for the show stoppers, and in the same breath earn your husband's trust back.

I myself know how terrible anxiety can get, and I understand the sweet relief of a benzo, so i am not coming from a place of judgment, but rather attempting to help you seek out alternatives. I hope that this is conveyed in my post...

In DBT they're always trying to get us to learn how to self sooth (distress tolerance, my favorite module) and the encouragement and sharing of coping strategies have worked for quite a few members.

I really wish you could get a handle on your anxiety, that way you'd only need what you're rxd.

Breathing exercises, music and mantras ("inhale the good shyt, exhale the bullshyt", is a work favorite of mine) help calm me, well thats if I catch it early enough, I'm so anxious all the time I sometimes dont realize just how anxious I actually am.

How messed up is life hey, you want to take more pills for your anxiety, and I didn't want the pills i can take as often as I need, BUT can't even take them for work, which actually causes an anxiety frenzy... Because I work at a rehab and benzos are forbidden.

Yeah I'm not losing out on a days pay for a benzo, I rather just put up with it and work through it as best I can.

Ok Sorry, I am just rambling now, but really wish you could figure this out, and I believe a balance between medicating and coping is key.

PS. I love you too Chris <3

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I gave my husband my meds about 5 years ago, mine was I would forget I took X pill then take another and another , mine was almost always due to Fibro pain, not bipolar. Once I over served my self and a friend in Cape Town South Africa tracked my husband down on Facebook to let him know I kept saying I was taking more and I wanted to sleep.... he came right home and I signed myself in IP.

So he gives them to me each day , I do have 2 days worth in case he's out and about.

He was very upset, it's scary to know a loved one will take more meds, it terrified my husband and he was mad. But he doesn't worry at all now.

I hate that you're going through all this, if I remember right you live out a long ways from a PHP or IOP.

You broke his trust, it needs to be built back up.

Can he go to your T appt and you can just explain you have him controlling your meds?

I do think this problem goes back to you being weaned off the benzo far to quickly.

(((((( hugs )))))

You really think this could all be because of the clonazepam situation? Even if that was over a year ago now I'm still so mad about it!!! I hate that doctor.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

You're right, the problem is clearly your anxiety, but drugging yourself to your eyeballs is clearly not the solution.

Have you looked into acquiring coping mechanisms, beyond pill popping to address the anxiety?

My thinking is that, if you at least learn to cope with however your garden variety anxiety manifests, then you could save the Gaba for the show stoppers, and in the same breath earn your husband's trust back.

I myself know how terrible anxiety can get, and I understand the sweet relief of a benzo, so i am not coming from a place of judgment, but rather attempting to help you seek out alternatives. I hope that this is conveyed in my post...

In DBT they're always trying to get us to learn how to self sooth (distress tolerance, my favorite module) and the encouragement and sharing of coping strategies have worked for quite a few members.

I really wish you could get a handle on your anxiety, that way you'd only need what you're rxd.

Breathing exercises, music and mantras ("inhale the good shyt, exhale the bullshyt", is a work favorite of mine) help calm me, well thats if I catch it early enough, I'm so anxious all the time I sometimes dont realize just how anxious I actually am.

How messed up is life hey, you want to take more pills for your anxiety, and I didn't want the pills i can take as often as I need, BUT can't even take them for work, which actually causes an anxiety frenzy... Because I work at a rehab and benzos are forbidden.

Yeah I'm not losing out on a days pay for a benzo, I rather just put up with it and work through it as best I can.

Ok Sorry, I am just rambling now, but really wish you could figure this out, and I believe a balance between medicating and coping is key.

PS. I love you too Chris <3

Thanks, trippin. I am working on some coping skills. My therapist is helping me with it.