[Moose72]

The Meanness of Mania
A few years ago I was chatting with a long-time good friend of mine through Facebook chat. The conversation turned to the topic of circumcision. I had no filter. I just typed everything that came to mind. Offensive things. Pointed nasty things. Mean things. He couldn't understand why I was being this way. But he knew that I am against circumcision; and I knew that he is circumcised. I had no filter and no empathy. The sentences just flowed out of my fingers without a thought in the first place never mind a second thought. I'm sure my friend was confused and a bit hurt. But he forgave me and we moved on.
I consider this the meanness of unfiltered mania.

I don't think I'm "mean" during mania (although I suppose I could be misinterpreted as being "mean"), but I do have a problem with using a filter.. that's for sure.

I think I say mostly embarrassing stuff. I just let the world know my deepest, darkest secrets that I would normally never tell anyone. I have such poor judgment.

It's good that you and your friend made up.

[Shazerac]

Sounds like a curse. I get mixed states and have never had a case of full blown mania. My sister is type one and gets way manic and drunk and says the most mean, horrible things to me on facebook and texts in the middle of the night. I know it's the mania that's doing it but it still hurts. I'm praying for the day when she accepts that she needs help and goes to a doctor and gets treatment. She's under the delusion that she's "managing" her illness just fine with herbs.

[Victoria'smom]

I can turn mean. It comes with the agitation and lack of filter.

[Wander]

I just had a manic episode and my family/friends say I wasn't mean, just very selfish. My behaviour embarrasses me and I feel I have a few apologies to give. For example my parents took me out on day leave and took me for drives when agitated but I took over their stereo and ranted about each song. Never asked how they were or what they would like to listen to. My Mum says I was obsessed about music to an extreme degree.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Wander

I just had a manic episode and my family/friends say I wasn't mean, just very selfish. My behaviour embarrasses me and I feel I have a few apologies to give. For example my parents took me out on day leave and took me for drives when agitated but I took over their stereo and ranted about each song. Never asked how they were or what they would like to listen to. My Mum says I was obsessed about music to an extreme degree.

You were obsessed with music for a while. You posted about trying to find "the answer" in songs. Glad to hear you're out and having rational thought. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[LifeInProgress]

I have a mean streak. No filter on it when I get mad.

I get angry more with depression than mania though.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bioChE

You were obsessed with music for a while. You posted about trying to find "the answer" in songs. Glad to hear you're out and having rational thought. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Yes I remember that. I know I've tried to find the thread that binds my life together when manic. (Have never found it)

I accused my lifelong friend of conspiring against me with all kinds of groups. I had all this evidence of her involvement but actually all my evidence was just rubbing past human mistakes in her face. I was highly delusional and very hurtful. I just apologized to her for it again today.....I've apologized so many times. I feel so terrible.

I'm not usually the type to do or say mean things but I have my moments. I can also be more literal in mind than other people and that makes people take me wrong.....literal without a filter can get interesting.

I don't like circumcision either. I felt bullied and pressured into it with my son and apologized to him a few years back....he said he doesn't care and is glad I did it but I've read too much to be in favor of the practice. That doesn't mean I'm against people who have them or favor them so I hope it's not an offensive opinion. (((Hugs)))

[CarriB]

I can be mean and a giant B when I'm hypomanic. I become so agitated with everybody and everything, especially people I don't care for to begin with. People talk about a euphoric feeling but I've never felt that, like at all.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by CarriB

I can be mean and a giant B when I'm hypomanic. I become so agitated with everybody and everything, especially people I don't care for to begin with. People talk about a euphoric feeling but I've never felt that, like at all.

Maybe euphoria only comes with mania.

[CarriB]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Maybe euphoria only comes with mania.

You're probably right. My mom is BP1 and she gets the euphoric feeling. Hypomania is just slightly elevated. I still have a lot to learn.

[Theresa1991]

I become way more direct in what I say. And I make a lot of puns. Ingenious puns. Great puns. That is what I think at least. I am usually not much like that because I am always afraid other People might get me wrong, but never mind that when I am hypo.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by CarriB

People talk about a euphoric feeling but I've never felt that, like at all.

I've never had a euphoric feeling either. I'm always frantic and extremely irritable. No filter on my mouth. I hate it.

[CloserToTheMid]

I am not mean by nature, but when I get manic or mixed it happens. My rule when I get in those states is to shut down human interaction as much as possible; otherwise, I'll be spoiling for a fight.