[Wander]

Still crashing bad with a flare-up of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. It has been almost a week now. The pain and fatigue really make day to day tasks a challenge but so far I am coping and still able to work. I was hypomanic but the last few days my mood has come down but my mind is still racing. Getting the wild-eyed stare.

Tomorrow I am seeing a new pdoc. I hope he is a good one and that I can transfer to him soon as my current pdoc is causing so many problems. Long story. It is midday now and I can rest for the remainder of the day then it is full steam ahead with appointments, work and socialising before university starts next Monday.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm troubled. I'm non compliant with meds... I want to induce a hypo or manic episode just to get that high... I crave that high... I feel like a drug addict. Maybe I am. I have my Adderall from a previous Rx, and it's right there... right there... I'm so tempted to reach for it and take the whole bottle, all 27 of those pills

I was supposed to throw it away, but I can't. I can't do it.

I'm not depressed, but I feel like a lost cause. I don't know what to do with myself. The temptation is there and I don't know how to ask for help.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Things will get better, I promise.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Been Waking Bad lately. Something has died inside me. Beginning to sound like REO Speedwagon lyrics. Jayavarman Seven.

feeling a bit triggered and blah.

mainly because of stuff my mental health worker told me, but also because.. well, I just found out that my general medical records (that GPS hold), have been messed with and things have been included that don't apply to me

the hell

[hopeless2015]

Got out of bed and came to work. Still feeling low, I don't care about anything today. I'll just muck my way through this day

[Lifeischallenging]

So today is my follow up with the Psychiatrist. I need to ask him how correct they are. I even wonder how accurate psychiatrist is, which is why I need a second opinion. Other than that, I don't have much of a life. I'm hoping that I can make a big change and become more active in my life. Even though this diagnoses can be challenging, I don't want it standing in my way.

[hopeless2015]

I'm leaning on my support team really hard right now, I hope I'm not driving them crazy. I seem to be in a vicious cycle right now. Some of my issues are situational and some I have brought on myself, I'm just really triggered right now and I need to know that I'll be ok, that things will be ok, I'm trying to convince myself this and struggling. I just feel so weak right now.

[Two Masks]

Originally Posted by CarriB

I'm at work trying to just get through the day... I keep doing the self talk ("You're going to have a GREAT DAY!") but it'/ only sort of working. I started Latuda last night and hoping it works. Have a dr appointment on Fri and therapy on Saturday.

How's Latuda working out for you? It took a little over two weeks for anything to improve for me.

[ByMySide]

Fighting a bug. Temp of 101.7 and a productive cough. Every part of my body hurts. My lupus is not playing well with this. I don't want to go to the doctor and I don't want to call in to work tomorrow...but I see no other option right now.

[bizi]

go to the clinic call in sick tomorrow.
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to PT and Dermatology. The rosacea on my face may be caused by a mite that can also cause mange in animals. (Demodex). Apparently the little buggers can inflame the skin if there's too many of them. So another thing I'll have to do for the rest of my life is add this cream to control them. Fun stuff.

Had my usual anxiety. Took more Vistaril than usual. Didn't do much.

Mood has been okay. I fought hard to pay attention today but couldn't focus much.

[b1ghr0ll3r]

Today looks bright to me... That's a big change considering I was stuck in a bit of a downer for a little while there. Got some things done & woke up at a reasonable hour for a change

[Moose72]

Worked out at the gym- treadmill and weight machines. Got in 10900 steps (first time ever). Spent time with my son but he wanted to go back to the arcade and I didn't.

[Naynay99]

I worked today.
Went to a support group.
Feeling pretty decent, considering.
I made some plans for the weekend, I am trying to participate in life more so I don't end up falling into the trap of not leaving the house all weekend or sleeping until 2 pm or wearing the same pj pants on Sunday that I had on Friday or getting my face eaten off by hungry cats after i run out of cat food and can't go the store. (January was a rough month for me).
I have been kicking *** all week long at work and then crashing and sleeping my way through the weekend which i know is not good. But I'm working on it.

[ByMySide]

Feeling awful. Getting ready to call in to work and then head to the clinic afterwards. I had to change clothes twice last night due to fevers.

[ByMySide]

Step 1 complete. Called in. I don't know why I was so anxious to do so. I got my nice supervisor who thanked me for calling in early enough that they could find someone to cover my shift.

Now to head to the clinic.

[Lifeischallenging]

I just learned yesterday that they up my medication from 450 mg to 600 mg of lithium. I hope it helps some.

Originally Posted by TheHPEnthusiast1987

I just learned yesterday that they up my medication from 450 mg to 600 mg of lithium. I hope it helps some.

I hope this helps. Just remember to have your blood work done every 90 days minimum.

I find I am not ranting at things. Irritabiity seems to have dropped to be more in line. Even my posts have become fewer and less reactive. Anxiety is still an issue but I feel more stable all the same.

I thought I posted in this thread, yet i've not done so

gives you some idea of how i'm feeling

actually in terms of mental stuff, really hard

memory of the week was sort of lost by tuesday morning because of it all

[Daonnachd]

I have ECT today. As usual, I'm quite nervous about it.

[hopeless2015]

Not feeling as gloom and doom as I was yesterday, hopefully this depression is lifting and I can get back on track. I was very needy yesterday and feeling like such a bad person. Still low today but nothing like I was. I shall carry on!

[Unrigged64072835]

Went grocery shopping this morning. Had to go to three places to pick up everything. Came home, put food away, and put most of the dishes away. Don't feel as anxious as I usually do.

Will be making dinner in a couple of hours.

Wrote two poems today.

[Espurr1989]

So today I discovered that both my husband and my cell phone can tell I am anxious before I can. I feel clueless, but yay for technology!?

Also I hate literally not knowing whether I belong here or in the Hypochondriac Forum instead, even after seeing three therapists and getting a master's degree in Mental health myself.

I was going to post this stuff on Facebook, but I'm trying to appear normal on there after blowing up on some former friends last year over political bs and another issue, but that's beside the point.

[ByMySide]

I have Type A influenza and pneumonia. Out of work for another week. But I'm glad I went to the clinic.