![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
||||
|
||||
Have you accepted this might be it: things are not going to get much better (whatever that is)?
Paradoxically, I'm improving when I've once again accepted that.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
![]() JustJace2u, LadyShadow, MtnTime2896
|
![]() JustJace2u, LadyShadow, Yours_Truly
|
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Yes I have. I am not perfect. I have learned GREAT acceptance over the years and it's been the absolutely hardest for me. I love me. I love everything I have become. Yes I am fat and still sometimes feel disgusting but I have people in my life that love me for who I am and I look inward out and no longer outward in.
I am so confident this is me without makeup, smiling and happy at me being me! ![]()
__________________
Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
![]() JustJace2u, Moose72, MtnTime2896
|
![]() BipolaRNurse, Icare dixit, JustJace2u, Moose72, MtnTime2896, Nene873, Sad Mermaid, Unrigged64072835, VerMOZZica, xRavenx, Yours_Truly
|
#3
|
||||
|
||||
I am slowly coming to terms with who I am. It's sad that it's taken 42 years for me to accept this. My recent hospitalization after many weeks of SIs opened my eyes alot I suppose.
__________________
Dx: BP2 and MDD Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia Diagnosed in May 2016 |
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit, LadyShadow
|
![]() Icare dixit, LadyShadow
|
#4
|
|||
|
|||
LadyShadow....beautiful!!
I'm working on accepting things, it's a work in progress
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() JustJace2u, LadyShadow
|
![]() LadyShadow
|
#6
|
|||
|
|||
I was 58 before finally beginning to learn some of the deepest realities about myself, and accepting the actual facts about myself (rather than continuing to flounder within whatever else, including trying to "become" one thing or another) has been foundational for coming up with workable day-to-day attitudes and actions within a world I had never understood. I still do not know for certain exactly who or what is beneath the skin I see in the mirror, but then neither do I any longer believe eventually leaving a statue behind for others to visit and view would make any difference today.
__________________
| manic-depressive with psychotic tendencies (1977) | chronic alcoholism (1981) | Asperger burnout (2010) | mood disorder - nos / personality disorder - nos / generalized anxiety disorder (2011) | chronic back pain / peripheral neuropathy / partial visual impairment | Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumors (incurable cancer) | |
![]() JustJace2u
|
![]() Icare dixit
|
#7
|
||||
|
||||
There's that risk, I guess. I definitely to some extent believe that. But as long as you survive, does it really matter what you do or what you are?
You can accept while working to improve. It's as difficult for us as it is for anyone else. You're as imperfect as you believe yourself to be.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
Good for you!
![]() I still have a hard time accepting who I am. I end up focusing on the negatives and I try working my way out of it. |
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit
|
![]() BipolaRNurse, Icare dixit
|
#9
|
||||
|
||||
I feel I have accepted myself as I am and BP is a part of that. Life is so much easier once you do.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Icare dixit
|
#10
|
|||
|
|||
It's taken me 59 years to accept myself, and I'm sure I'm not done.
![]()
__________________
I would have been a prophet, but there's no money in it. |
![]() Anonymous57777
|
![]() BipolaRNurse, Icare dixit
|
#11
|
|||
|
|||
Nope I'm striving to be a better person. I've got goals I want and will accomplish. I'm not giving up. I'm excited just thinking about them. I'm getting back into doing art and this time I'm going to find a gallery to show my art. I believe in myself. I just turned my laundry room into an art studio. My pdoc has cut my seroquel in half so I can get my creativity back-I was on so much I couldn't paint. I'm more about changing than accepting.
|
![]() Anonymous57777, xRavenx
|
![]() Icare dixit, xRavenx
|
#12
|
||||
|
||||
I've been trying to figure myself out for 61 years. I'm not there. Next on the list is accepting myself.
__________________
![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
![]() Anonymous57777, CarriB, Icare dixit, xRavenx
|
![]() Icare dixit, xRavenx
|
#13
|
||||
|
||||
I fight everything, including who I am. One of these days I'll get tired and just accept it. I think that comes with age, even though I'm almost 40.
__________________
BP2, previously diagnosed with Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety. Latuda Luvox Klonopin |
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit, xRavenx
|
![]() Icare dixit
|
#14
|
|||
|
|||
I've had to lie to others to do business for 25 years while compromised by mental illness and medication in a society that seriously stigmatizes mental illness and medication. Only recently I've realized that I've been lying to myself. I'll report back once I sort this out.
|
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit, xRavenx
|
![]() Icare dixit, xRavenx
|
#15
|
||||
|
||||
No. Next year around this time I'm going to be in a much better place.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit
|
![]() Icare dixit
|
#16
|
||||
|
||||
Thank you for this. I'm 58 and still don't have my $#!+ together. Maybe I never will. I need to accept that instead of beating myself up with my inadequacies.
__________________
DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
![]() Icare dixit
|
![]() ~Christina
|
#17
|
||||
|
||||
I`ll say I`ve sort of accepted it.I do want things to get better for me and I want to be able to take care of myself.
__________________
![]() |
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit
|
![]() Icare dixit
|
#18
|
||||
|
||||
A doctor IP once told me " you need to just realize you will never find stability.... Yeah ?!?! Wtf !
I will never " settle" I can always do better be better and enjoy my life with all kinds of shytt stacked against me. I never went back to that IP, he was just a jaded man with a god complex in 800.00 suits.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() BipolaRNurse, Icare dixit
|
#19
|
||||
|
||||
Nope. I have this weird thing where I think I can just 'fix' myself and that I shouldn't accept anything. Don't know why but it might as well just be denial. I'm trying to work on that.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
![]() Anonymous57777, Icare dixit
|
![]() Icare dixit
|
#20
|
||||
|
||||
I feel the same way quite often. I want to try things on my own (even "fail" if I have to) and prove that I'm capable. Probably a pride thing.
|
![]() MtnTime2896
|
#21
|
||||
|
||||
Compared to last year at this time I am a step ahead: I have my own place. After over 10 years with my mom (triggering) that's huge!
I am a photographer . I love it. I take great pix but I haven't been out in many months. Why???
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Icare dixit
|
#22
|
||||
|
||||
At 51 I still struggle with self acceptance. The last year has thrown a lot of other stuff at me that has required a lot of work to come to acceptance or at least accomodation with.
Accepting that I am bipolar is the easy part. Coming to terms with the consequences of being bipolar? That is the hard part. |
![]() Icare dixit
|
![]() Icare dixit
|
#23
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
#24
|
|||
|
|||
Agreed, and my unknown co-morbids that were growing alongside made all of that even worse.
__________________
| manic-depressive with psychotic tendencies (1977) | chronic alcoholism (1981) | Asperger burnout (2010) | mood disorder - nos / personality disorder - nos / generalized anxiety disorder (2011) | chronic back pain / peripheral neuropathy / partial visual impairment | Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumors (incurable cancer) | |
Reply |
|